Trying to get my husband a Christmas present: a thread.

My husband is very hard to shop for. He is quite particular and buys everything he wants for himself anyway. But THIS year, he mentioned one thing one time, and it was perfect. All-weather mats for the Jeep. Great!

I'm texting the whole family like I'm pitching a multi-level marketing scheme. I am offering YOU the opportunity to get in on the ground floor and sponsor a floor mat and finally get this man something he actually needs and wants. Let me take this off your Christmas plate.

I have my friend @okmaher order the mats for me so it doesn't show up on the credit card. Oh, we are so clever! Surely, the mats will arrive at my home in a nondescript box just like every other Christmastime order!

Car dealership: Pulls up to the house, knocks on the door, and hands my husband a clear plastic bag full of cargo liner and floor mats. For those who do not know me, I am very invested in surprises, and clearly I need better op-sec. This was a stroke of bad luck.

But I have another Christmas present idea. And this one is EPIC. For those who don't know my story, I was married before, for 4 years to my 1st husband, Jake, who passed away suddenly in 2015. We had a beautiful, sassy 2-year-old daughter and I was pregnant with our second.

Too many Soldiers have made ONE mistake and received a Hug,

instead of an All-Night Fuck.

HOW TO NEVER FALL INTO THE FRIENDZONE EVER AGAIN:

《《 THREAD 》》

The #1 reason guys get friendzoned?

They aren't physical enough.

They act like one of her girlfriends or g@y friends.

Being Physical-

It's an expression of yourself.

You're not trying to accomplish anything.

you're doing it because YOU want to.

When should you be physical?

As soon as possible.

You don't want be another "girlfriend"

You want to be MAN TO WOMAN.

If you're not Physical,

you're not a Sexual Threat.

Women will vibe with you, but in a very platonic way.

You want her girlfriends to go- "Who is this guy!?"

16 Experiences You Should Give Your Lover As Her Dominant 😈⛓

These experiences will help to cement the 2 of you into a dominant/submissive relationship, so make sure you tick them off! 😎

🧵

Let's begin...

1. Begging you for forgiveness 🧎‍♀️

When we do something wrong, big or small, then we should be apologising to you and asking for you to forgive and forget what we have done! 😬

You can decide how we apologise!

2. Begging for your attention 🙏

Denying us things in a playful way can really polarise the masculine-feminine energy ☯️

Try denying us things that we REALLY want! 🙃

3. Asking you for permission to do things 🧐

Things both in and out of the bedroom!

It's polite of us but more importantly it creates more polarity!! (I know I use that word a lot 😅)

4. Being restrained with ropes ⛓

It doesn't matter if you're rope skills are pretty or if it's a mess... at least in the beginning! 😈

Rope, straps, cable ties etc. They are all good.

Sleep is always my top priority, and will continue to be in 2021. It is foundational to all health.

I’ve compiled a list of my top 8 sleep hacks that I use everyday to improve my sleep. If you are trying to improve your sleep in 2021, this thread is for you. 👇

1) Thermal shock:

- 2 Hours before bedtime, I will either go into a sauna and immediately follow with an ice-bath or take a hot bath followed by a cold shower
- This helps improve my circulation, reduce inflammation and aid in muscle recovery

2) Normatec boots:

- Muscle relaxation is key for restful sleep
- I use @NTRecovery NormaTec Leg Pulse 2.0s at night to help increase blood flow in my legs & relieve muscle tension

3) Smart lighting

- Bright/harsh lighting delays the production of melatonin & sleep onset time
- I use @tweethue Phillips Hue lights in my home that turn orange & gradually dim starting at 7PM and completely shut off at 9:30PM

4) Mobility exercises:

- 30 mins before bedtime, I do mobility exercises to relax my body
- I use my @Hyperice HyperVolt Plus Massage Gun during this time to relax my hips and massage feet, hands and back

Here's the simple truth that most folk don't believe: traffic isn't inevitable.

We're not stuck with a set number of cars on our roads. We can control more than simply which streets cars can and cannot travel on and who has to suffer congestion.

We can give people the option to leave their car at home for one, some or all of their journeys.

We can build neighbourhoods that allow people to get rid of their cars altogether.

We can free ourselves from the car trap.

How do we do it? By providing alternatives.

Safe, effective, efficient and reliable public transportation.

Safe, direct, protected cycle routes.

Pleasant places to walk.

The next time you go for a drive -- look around you.

Every person you see on a bike, on a bus, or on their feet is someone who made the decision not to use a car.

Because of that choice, there's one less car in the queue ahead of you.

A list of questions and checks to help you see if you should automate a process or not.

I've had a lot of people asking for this.

This is just what I use.

1st half are open-ended questions for exploration
2nd half are rankings for prioritization.

Hope this helps you!

1. Do I understand what I am automating?

Often times we think we are automating a process, but instead, we may be automating a destructive pattern.

Do it manually for a few weeks.

Dont perpetuate bad actions.

Go through the learning as a person, automate what you learned.

Example:

If you are filtering people for hire, and you automate right off the bat, you may automate based on the wrong criteria.

Its better to filter manually, do some calls, have some interviews, and adjust the process a bit until you are automating the right thing.

2. What do I gain?

Automating, just to automate is not useful. It just creates another system to maintain without any upside.

Each automation adds to the complexity of your business process. As complexity increases, so does areas for breakage and unintended consequences.

3. What do I lose?

Every automation results in loss.

Proximity to the process.

You may miss a "regime shift" as things change.

You may lose closeness to your customers and personal interaction.

You miss an understanding of your operation as it grows or changes.

Thread - When in doubt, just move

In this thread, I'll discuss one of the major issues I had a couple of years back.

The issue of staying still when there's no reason to.

The issue of not actively doing something and thinking I could think my way out of problems.

Let's get into it.

I've always been thinking too much for my own sake.

I like to break down complex ideas, look at them from a bird's eye standpoint.

This is cool, but only to a certain extent.

It starts being very problematic when it comes to practicality.

What would happen is, every time I came around a roadblock, I would try to think harder (thinking that it would lead me to a solution)

It doesn't.

All it happened was I was left feeling more overwhelmed and with no answers.

This is what I would call "Living life passively."

When I look at unhappy people, there's usually a common denominator in them.

They're letting life happen to them.

They've settled for the "comfy" job, for the "stable" relationship, or they just straight-up haven't achieved jack shit and yet they don't do anything about it.

Sometime back my wife and I were having a conversation about who my close friends are. I only listed FIVE names. She was little shocked because she has observed my ‘close’ relationships with a number of people and thought the number might be a bit larger.

My response was I know a lot of people but not a lot of people know me.I used to think I had a lot of close friends but I started paying a bit more attention to who was there for me & who were my go to persons during tough times, spiritually,emotionally,physically & financially

I noticed how consistent these FIVE were during the good and the bad. The FIVE now form part of my inner circle. My go to persons for anything. They have my best interest at heart and would move heaven and earth for me where need be. I would do the same for them too.

Now if you are like me and you know a lot of people it’s very easy to think you have a lot of close friends but do not be deceived NOT everyone is your close friend, in fact even from your mere ‘friends’, not everyone is your friend period.

Not everyone wants you to prosper or would sacrifice their time, energy and resources for you. Therefore, it is imperative to discover who your real friends are. Just observe them in detail, scrutinize them on the grand scheme of things and even in the little things.

My 2020 recap

-a thread-

Well, i think this year isn't the hardest, but it's most likely heartbeating.

Feels like when i'm at the highest latitude on a roller coaster, then the gravity suddenly swallowing me, endless.

January was just the rest of 2019 struggle. Such a thesis revision and etc.

February, was a celebration. And also, a new beginning.

Glorious moment covered with a clueless story. When i got my first (but second actually) interview, with one of the most agritech in jkt.

I thought that i was well prepared. But..

2 weeks later, i got rejected. But that's the sweetest one. They kindly having me during the interview session.

Feeling apathetic, lethargic, or unmotivated? Or, have someone on your team who feels that way? We're always looking for ways to stay focused, but sometimes life can get in the way. Read on for 4 psychological models of motivation👇

Left to fester, loss of interest or job satisfaction can affect the culture of the whole company. So, how can leaders and HR managers motivate an apathetic member of the team?

In this article, we explain four major concepts in psychology: The Motivator Hygiene Theory, the Job Characteristics Model, the Hierarchy of Needs Model, and the PERMA Model.

Theory 1: Motivator Hygiene Theory. Hertzberg claimed that the most important question to ask when trying to ascertain what motivates employees is: “What do employees really want out of their work experience?” He divided motivators into job satisfiers and job dissatisfiers.

Motivating factors (job satisfiers)
are intrinsic motivators, like enjoyment or a sense of accomplishment: achievement, recognition, the work itself, responsibility, advancement, professional development, personal growth, or the flexibility to work from home.

All relationship advice that focuses on “doing stuff for each other” is superficial and is unlikely to yield a lasting result. Satisfying each other’s material desire and playing into tropes seen on tv and movies just makes bad relationships feel bearable.

Only when the two people are joined on the basis of the spirit can true understanding of the other be achieved. Genuine compassion between lovers only happens when the fulfillment of material and mental expectations planted in us by the world become secondary to our devotion.

Worldly relationships are just that, worldly. They function only to temporarily relieve the general physical discomforts of existence.

A relationship based on the spirit is one that honours the flesh but is not of it.

When we are willing to put aside our demands of our husbands and wives to soothe attachments or urges, we can begin to build a union based on service and duty to one another. Wherein all needs are still met but the meeting of those needs are no longer the point of being together.

You do things for each other because you aren’t functioning as two separate people with separate needs. When spirits join taking care of one another is synonymous with taking care of oneself.

My happiness is not isolated from my husbands happiness and vice versa.

Attaching a proposal to a cold email might also do the magic!

Ten tips for writing your research proposal

1. Follow the instructions!

Read and conform to all instructions found on the council website. Make sure that your proposal fits the criteria of the competition.

2. Break down your proposal into point form before writing your first draft.

Based on the total length of the proposal, decide whether you will have headings/subheadings and what they will be (e.g., Introduction, Background Material, Methodology, and so on).

These headings can be selected based on the advice given in the specific award instructions. For each section, lay out in point form what you will discuss.

3. Know your audience.

Describe your research proposal in non-technical terms.

Use clear, plain language and avoid jargon.

Make sure your proposal is free of typographic and grammatical errors.

Remember that, at every level, adjudication committees are multi-disciplinary and will include researchers in fields other than your own.

Therefore, follow the KIS principle – Keep It Simple!

Reviewers like it that way.

Top 2020 Relationship Lessons From Solomon Buchi. PART 1

1. No matter how much you love a toxic person, no amount of love can repaint the red flags.

2. It’s one thing for someone to show toxic traits and they make effort to change after you call them out, and it’s another thing for someone to have a consistent toxic pattern. Run away from the latter.

3. Trying to save a toxic relationship or trying to change an abusive person is a trauma response. It’s a way of feeling better by repressing your own trauma by playing SAVIOR for others.

4. Believe people when they show you who they really are. Many times what we call “giving people benefit of doubt” is our way of disrespecting our own boundaries with a delusional belief that they’d change.

5. Don’t ever get into any relationship without defining it. No matter how casual it is, set boundaries, know what you’re doing. Don’t assume the other person knows what you want because you spend long hours on the phone or you share stuff. Define it verbally.

Our inflated bios, our curated images, our growth addictions, our me-ministries, our carnal networking, our jealous hearts, our talent-idolatry, our unsubtle platform-building, our fear of going unnoticed, our internal scoffing at small things—what have we become?

Why don't we notice anymore? Why don't we care? Do we think Jesus isn't serious? Do we think he's not really coming back? Do we think we won't stand before him?

Do we even stop and think at all anymore, or do we just do what others seem to be doing?

"There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death" (Proverbs 14:12).

There are some things that Jesus says that are mysterious. These are not in that category: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt 5:3). "Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted" (Matt 23:12).

It's Christmastime. We talk about the manger—dirty! Bethlehem—small! Shepherds—dingy! Mary—disrespected! "No crib for a bed," we sing. "Mild he lays his glory by," we sing. God the Son—blindingly humble! But do we realize this story is the "master story" of the Christian life?

The easiest way to make a woman come back to you is to hold the door wide open for her when she wants to leave

Go no contact

Don't call

Don't text

Don't hit her up with any new years, happy valentines, merry Christmas, etc

When you have deep relationship problems with a woman, you fix it by love bombing her not through honest dialogue, because hurt women are selfish. They don't give a fuck about the pain they caused (hers matters more), and they don't want to hear an analysis of how they fucked up.

Women don't take accountability for the damage they cause. Trying to force them to be accountable for it just makes them less cooperative, because their low stress tolerance means any truthful examination of their mistakes will cause them pain and in turn further instability.

They will simply dismiss, forget or not really absorb what you say if you try being honest, and tell them in a straight way. If you keep pressing it and can prevent her from running away, you will at best get some weak excuses and perhaps an apology. THAT'S *THE BEST* you'll get.

If you can't prevent her from running away, she will just run away.

Women have no sense of honour in thinking "I've hurt this man, I need to make sure he will be alright"

No. She will absorbed in her own pain, you will not even be a consideration.

A woman can love you more than anything on this planet - and she will do this.

And you causing her additional stress by being mad at her and seeking answers only pushes her further away.

She will never meet your needs and right her wrongs.

See why they're beneath us now?

TW: Abuse

[THREAD] Let's talk about recognizing signs of emotional abuse. For a lot of people, it can be hard to recognize those signs, especially early on, or we may not realize what they were until we have suffered under them and it affected our mental health.

For the most part, people who engage in a lot of emotional abuse won't show it at the very beginning. They need feelings to develop or an attachment to happen in order to be able to show those signs when it is harder for the other person to leave. It can also be progressive.

However, there are some ways to recognize those signs early on. One of the main ones is how these people talk about others they shared a relationship with in the past. If every ex was a bad person or every friendship has issues, then it is generally a bad sign.

This is especially true for men who may badmouth women they have been it by calling them names that are not worth typing. That's a big red flag because it means that this man is likely to be the bad person here. They may be volatile even in their friendships.

They seemingly seem to lose friends quickly and get new ones quickly. This is because these friends may recognize the toxic tendencies of the person and leave them, and they constantly have to integrate with new people that they want to use for one purpose or another.