Top 2020 Relationship Lessons From Solomon Buchi. PART 1 1…

2. It’s one thing for someone to show toxic traits and they make effort to change after you call them out, and it’s another thing for someone to have a consistent toxic pattern. Run away from the latter.

3. Trying to save a toxic relationship or trying to change an abusive person is a trauma response. It’s a way of feeling better by repressing your own trauma by playing SAVIOR for others.

4. Believe people when they show you who they really are. Many times what we call “giving people benefit of doubt” is our way of disrespecting our own boundaries with a delusional belief that they’d change.

5. Don’t ever get into any relationship without defining it. No matter how casual it is, set boundaries, know what you’re doing. Don’t assume the other person knows what you want because you spend long hours on the phone or you share stuff. Define it verbally.

6. If you like someone and they say they are not ready. Let them be. It is not your work to make anyone ready. In fact, you can never make anyone ready. Romantic love is beautiful but it can be disastrous at the wrong time.

7. If you’re religious, pray to God for guidance in your relationship life. As a single who’s searching, pray that God leads you. Many times we feel we know what we really want, but God knows us better and what we think is the best for us might be bad for us 5 years later.

8. Effective communication can never be too much. Communication is more than talking for 5 hours; it’s the content of the conversation. It’s one thing to know how to talk, it’s another to know the right questions to ask & the right conversations that will open your partner’s mind

9. Pay attention to how you feel deep down your heart when you’re talking to someone. If you feel like you’re settling for less, then that’s what’s most likely happening. Your soul knows when everything isn’t in place. Don’t ignore it.

10. Your partner doesn’t have to be attractive to your friends, as long as they are right for you. I understand the desire to have someone your friends are feeling, but remember it’s not a community relationship.

11. Whatever you overlook in dating will multiple in marriage. Reason being that we bring our best selves to dating, and marriage make people comfortable to show everything because there’s no pressure to impress. Address it now or you’ll regret later.

12. Don’t get into a relationship if you always want things to go your way. There has to be compromise, but a healthy one. Also, it’s easier to compromise when you know your partner has your interest at heart.

13. Marriage doesn’t necessarily make anyone mature. If anything, it opens up how weak and imperfect you are. Outsiders might see a perfect person, but your partner knows your torn panties, bad breath and all your bad habits. Don’t marry if you’re not ready to be ‘NAKED’

14. You should leave an abusive marriage because of your children. By doing this you’re teaching them not to condone abuse. Healthy single parenting is better than joint toxic parenting. You’re ruining them by raising them in that toxic environment.

15. Stop seeing people how you wish them to be and see them for who they really are. Stop deceiving yourself or It’ll end in an ocean of tears.

I’ll be sharing the part two tomorrow. Bless up!