TW: Abuse

[THREAD] Let's talk about recognizing signs of emotional abuse. For a lot of people, it can be hard to recognize those signs, especially early on, or we may not realize what they were until we have suffered under them and it affected our mental health.

[THREAD] memory loss and mental health. It is something that we don’t often put together. However, it is a very common issue for many individuals whose mental health is not doing well. So why do we get that memory loss? Is it permanent? Are there ways to cope with that?

The reason why memory loss happens is not because our brains are not working well or somehow not registering events but because we are so tuned in to our thoughts and emotions that we are not paying attention to our environment.

Given that we are not paying attention to what is going on around us, we are less likely to remember them. Also, issues such as depression and anxiety affect the way we sleep and sleep has been proven to be the time when short term memories are transferred into long term memory.

When we can’t sleep well, that process is disturbed and we may lose some memories during that process shift. Also, we may feel as unable to access our childhood or even recent memories when our mental health is not doing well and we may be scared that it is permanent.

However, in this situation, it is not so much that we have lost our memories. It is more a problem of retrieval. The memories are still there in our big library, but we just can’t find them. Furthermore, memories are highly dependent on our mood.

[THREAD] I want to revisit a topic I get asked about almost everyday. Physical symptoms in mental health. They are so scary and can be so hard to believe that something like anxiety can cause such devastating symptoms. Let’s break it down and see how that happens.

Generally speaking, mental health symptoms are divided into 3 distinct categories: physical, psychological and social. Psychological would be racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts. Social is withdrawal from loved ones and other social symptoms.

Physical symptoms are definitely those that feel that we notice the most because they can look like potentially dangerous illnesses. Usually, we experience those symptoms, go to the emergency room, and the doctors can’t find anything.

It leaves us feeling puzzled and wondering what’s happening. What happens is that our mind identifies some type of danger. After that, it is time for the endocrine system to start working. It releases hormones that send signals to our body.

These hormones (cortisone, adrenaline) tell our body to prepare to fight or run away. Blood goes to our muscles, meaning our brain doesn’t have enough blood pumping. That’s why we feel that brain fog, racing thoughts, tunnel vision and we get that burst of energy.

[THREAD] I saw a few of us saying that their 2021 resolution was to improve their mental health. So I decided to write this guide in terms of what steps we can take to improve our mental health for 2021 and beyond. The most important step is to start some form of treatment.

While finances can be a huge barrier to getting treatment, there are a few things around that. Medications (especially those that have been around for a while) are generally much cheaper because they exist in generic form. They are safe, have decades of research behind them.

Antidepressants are not addictive at all and while there are a few side effects at the beginning, they tend to go away after the first few weeks. While it is hard to get rid of superstition and myths around meds, taking that first step of just taking it will help so much.

For therapy, there are always some free or low cost options. Sometimes, there are students about to graduate from their post grad who offer free or low cost therapy as experience (under the supervision of a fully licensed psychologist and legally).

They are the equivalent of a resident doctor, meaning they have the knowledge and expertise but lack the experience and both of you can benefit from working with each other. I remember when I was in that position and worked, I had my supervisor guide through every client.

[THREAD] I want to talk a little bit about how people who are struggling with their mental health may appear to the outside world and why some things contribute to stigma even when we are not aware of them. I often complaints from families or partners.

They would say this person no longer listens, is absent, always on their own and may take it personally. Let’s go through why that happens and what explanations we have for these shifts. First of all, social withdrawal is one of the main symptoms of many forms of psych issues.

Social situations (yes that includes family and loved ones) takes a lot of energy. We don’t notice that for the most part when we are doing well but when we start struggling, every word, listening to conversations, etc...takes so much energy and can be hard to maintain.

This is why they may get irritated and lash out. It is because the energy is gone and they can no longer keep up the mask of normalcy. It is important to respect their space and boundaries while they are going through this hard time. Don’t force them to do things they don’t want.

Also, if you talk to someone who is struggling with their mental health, they may seem absent or like they are not caring at all. Well, from the perspective of the person who is struggling, their concentration is on their thoughts, their bodies, checking for panic attacks.

[THREAD] In our last thread, we talked about the physical symptoms of mental health. Let's focus this one on the psychological symptoms, mainly intrusive and racing thoughts. Why do they happen? What are the solutions for them?

While physical symptoms can be very hard to deal with, psychological ones are not easy. Intrusive thoughts are some of the most troubling to deal with. It is important to note that every single person on this planet gets intrusive thoughts. No exceptions!

Why do they seem to impact some more than others? That's because in someone who does not have anxiety, they will simply overlook these thoughts. They know they are thoughts that they won't act on. However, in someone who is suffering from anxiety, those thoughts will stick.

That's because the intrusive thought(s) will induce a lot of anxiety, and the more emotion we attach to a thought, the more likely it is to be saved in our memory and come back often. Therefore, a thought that should have left right away stays for a long time.

The reason why intrusive thoughts are scary to begin with is because they are often of sexual, violent, and dark thoughts. Therefore, we get scared that we may lose control and act on these thoughts or turn into a bad person. However, the fact that they are scary means a lot.

You wanna know the truth? My best friend just dropped me for no discernable reason in December when I was going through an unrelated mental breakdown (started in October) that required new treatment. To this day I have no clue what happened.

This has, without a doubt, been the most traumatic event that has ever happened to me. I had felt that maybe there was distance there, but I was trying to take care of myself. He reassured me he loved me just 1 week prior. Then, he said he was going to quit working with me.

He had been my business partner and literally helped me co-own my business. He requested his name be dropped from the company completely and that he needed to "put my family first" and find a different job. I don't know what that family first comment meant at all...

Then, he stopped communicating with me as frequently. This lasted a few days. He started acting extremely squirrelly and dodging direct questions. Very innocent questions like, "are you doing okay?" Again, this whole time I'm dealing with a genuine mental breakdown.

Last, he sent me a bizarre vague message, telling me that he didn't want to talk to me "in the foreseeable future" and cited some of the - honestly - most paranoid reasons for this. We live literally across the globe from one another. One of the things he accused me of was ...

10 Signs of Social Intelligence 🧠

1-Smile
2-Good posture
3-Strong eye contact
4-Fluid hand gestures
5-Let’s others talk more
6-Listens & relates
7-Comfortable Touching people
8-Walk with a swagger
9-Speaks at slower pace
10-Keeps calm under criticism

[ QUICK THREAD ]

1-Smile

How do you feel when you see someone that looks angry?

It’s a downer

No one will want to interact with you if you look pissed all of the time, it’s just negative energy

Plus, smiling is a sign of confidence and boosts others moods

2-Good posture

Don’t walk Into any social setting looking like the hunchback

It’s weak and makes you look low energy

Plus, you’re displaying low status with weak posture

Stand up straight with your chin up & chest out like a god

Walk like you’re proud of yourself

3- Strong eye contact

Ever shake someone’s hand & their eyes are either looking down or darting?

It’s weak & you probably won’t trust them

Or in conversation?

Eye contact while talking means you’re listening and paying *Attention*

Strong eye contact displays confidence

4-Fluid hand gestures

Use your hands to talk & express your points

Don’t stand there like a robot

Using the hands can make what you’re talking about exciting

It can also be used to emphasize

Exciting = positive emotion

Remember, making people FEEL is what’s important

10 Red flags to note in relationships .

A thread !

1. Secrecy - There is a difference between being private and being secretive . Anyone who doesn’t want people to know you are dating may have somethings they are hiding . It’s ok to be private but alarm bells should ring where there is secrecy .

2. Barter - The relationship is almost always about what is being exchanged . While there will be exchanges in every relationship, an undue focus on this will indicate that someone is there for something they can get and not what they can give .

3. Misaligned values - What is sacred to you isn’t respected by the other .values like honesty , integrity , respect isn’t important to the other party . A relationship with nonaligned values cannot work ! There will always be conflict .

4. Mystery income - Some folks are dating thieves , robbers and fraudsters and always have signs to indicate that their partners are fraudulent. It is a huge red flag not to know what your other half actually does for money . It’s not wise to join a sinking boat .

Try to imagine yourself as an older Republican. (Obviously you are white and you have a penis.) You have long believed R's to be the responsible ones, the moral ones, the ones who will do the right thing even when it's hard.

You remember your heroes: Eisenhower and Reagan, the Bush's? Right? You knew that they would "take care of us" while all the crazy tree huggers and hippies wanted to buy the world a Coke and and give all your money to poor people and immigrants!

...and how was THAT gonna teach them to pull themselves up by the boot straps and make something of themselves like YOU DID??
After all, this is the land of opportunity, RIGHT? Everyone has the same chance to be successful and PROSPEROUS, right???

You did it all with NO HELP--ALL BY YOURSELF, DIDN'T YOU. I mean, the G.I. Bill didn't do all that MUCH!
Rich people were taxed at 70%, and that was OK with you because you weren't one. *YET*

Just because the cost of living was MINISCULE compared to now, and you got a spiffy new job with a company car and paid health insurance, and a freaking house you BOUGHT ALL BY YOURSELF for 25 thousand freaking dollars,