Men need to know when to take responsibility.

They also need to know when to refuse it.

Thread.

How to present yourself as a man who is worth investing in.

Requested by followers.

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Anyone who plays the status game is not worthy of any seriousness.

But that does not mean, those who are serious & competent should look & behave in a cheap manner.

People are watching. To be worthy of investing in, you must show degree of status.

It’s the world we live in.

Be relaxed and still. Nothing should faze you. Your reaction to good news, should be equal to bad news: neutral.

Learn to downplay an achievement, while remaining calm when encountering failure.

It shows resilience towards hard times, & self control during good times.

Control your emotions. Or at least mimic the emotions of the person you’re talking to. Emotions are the portal in which regrettable behaviours emerge.

You instantly lack reliability when you uncontrollably release your emotions.

Read my shadow integration threads.

Maintain respect. Don’t swear. Profanity instantly makes you look cheap. It makes you look weak & not in control.

“Can’t trust a man who doesn’t swear” is trash nonsense.

Truth is, you can’t rely on a man who fails to control his words at the right time & right place.

How to vet a woman. Qualify her by setting your standards.

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If you want to vet a woman properly, you need to separate two components that makes up who she is;

Macro scale - her deep values that make up her belief system.

Micro scale - her everyday habits & behaviours.

Macro cannot be easily modified, the micros can.

A woman's belief system in life takes one of two pathways,

she either chooses a path of independence, where her values shape around it,

or she chooses to seek femininity.

One directly conflicts with the other. The more independent she becomes, the less feminine she is.

Obviously you want a feminine woman. And that would mean to vet how far she is willing to go in her line of career. If career ascension is her aim, her belief system does not align with yours.

Her career must stop somewhere for her to be able to regain her feminine nature.

Determine how agreeable she is. By default, all women are more agreeable than disagreeable.

That means a woman who's gone out of her way to become disagreeable (for example career ascension) is a red flag, unless circumstances justify it.

Your 9 to 5 job can transform you into a man of value.

Stop working for the money. Work for authority.

This is a lesson from my dad.

A life hack.

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You spend at least 40 hours a week at your work to make money.

Thats over 2000 hours a year. If you want these hours to mean more than just money, & help you develop your character,

then your approach towards work must change.

Its an overlooked topic that industriousness has tremendous mental & psychological impact on men and their transformation of becoming high value.

Here's a step by step blueprint on letting your job mould your character.

If you want your job to infiltrate your personality and mould you into a man of value,

you need authority.

So the first step is to assess the landscape of your job & whether you are able to attain this authoirty.

If you're in a work environment that makes you a supplicant to every person, quit your job.

I never recommend rash decisions, but working in a place where you are NOTHING but a subordinate, with ZERO opportunity to move up,

is psychologically damaging to your manhood.

Stop reacting & start responding.

Here’s how you speak slowly.

Shadow Integration method.

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One quality that separates a man from children is how he responds to interactions.

Any time someone interacts with you, you have two choices; you can either react, or you can respond.

A response is a thought out reply.

A reaction is emotional.

A reaction is urge driven. Its when you instantly reply without thinking.

Its very easy to identify those who are impulsive simply by looking at this trait.

Its a trait that frames you to be weak through several subliminal effects.

If you react, you communicate that you have no urge control and that you act on emotions.

This assumes you to be unreliable & not dependable.

Whether you like it or not, high-end professional people will notice these small details in your behaviour.

A dead give away of a reactive man is when he talks fast.

Talking fast shows that you dont think & operate on other people's time while not respecting your own.

It also makes the credibility of your dialogue shaky at best.

Because it indicates no thought was provided.

How to find the motivation to do something.

Requested by followers

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I lean heavily towards psychoanalytic theory & Nitzschean philosophy.

That means with regards to this thread,

I believe not everyone has the ability to be motivated. And those that do, have multiple personalities constantly affecting their motivation.

Ill address accordingly.

Nietzsche believed not everyone can achieve an aim,

that they lack self-determination; which is a combination of self-control & self-legislation i.e

the ability to write laws in place that will help attain an aim while suppressing desires that directly/indirectly disrupt it.

This thread assumes you have the ability to set yourself an aim that generates enough motivation for you to pursue it.

Obviously the "how" of this thread will fail those who don't possess this quality.

Some will disagree & claim everyone possesses it.

And yet still fail.

Having the motivation to do something cannot be pinpointed or quantified. There's infinite amount of reasons on what compels people to do things.

But there is room to work and generate motivation for those who have none,

(assuming they possess the trait in temperament).

How to become a SUCCESSFUL academic: a guide 1/n

How do I know how to become a successful academic? I don't, but I have received plenty of advice. As a good academic, I will just summarize what I have learned from listening

1) Be the ultimate collaborator but also don't be

Say yes to as many collaborations as physically possible: co-produce papers, LEARN, co-write grants, DISCUSS, it is all about synergy. But also, collaborations slow you down, have your own ideas! Just say no to collaborations

2) Be the methods ninja but also don't be

Science is only as good as its weakest link: don't be satisfied by applying the default analyses in the field. But also, don't let perfect be the enemy of the good and don't confuse reviewers. Just apply the default analyses in the field

3) Be the superstar teacher but also don't be

Professor means teacher, it is LITERALLY in the name. Being a good professor means being a superstar teacher. But also, focus on the science and minimize the hours of teaching, don't try to become a superstar teacher

https://t.co/Uejb3Ng30u

A frequent question I get when talking with senior designers: Will my growth as a designer stall if I start managing?

There is often a second question underneath that, which is:
Will I no longer be respected as a design leader if I can't keep up as a designer?

Thread below👇

My short answer to "Will my growth as a designer stall if I manage?" is yes, absolutely, if "designer" is someone who produces design work.

Managing a 5-8 ppl team does not leave you time to design. When you don't practice a craft, you should not expect to get better at it.

However... (and this is a BIG however)...

What you *can* continue to grow (as both a design manager and a designer) is the following:

1) Your design eye
2) Your design voice

A strong design eye means that others trust you to know what is good.

It means your taste is well-honed through extensive study of an area.

It means your sense for usability, simplicity and aesthetics is well-developed even at subtle or fine granularities.

Very early in my design career, my manager asked me to review some design portfolios. I sat there, petrified, clicking through dozens of links. I could tell which ones were really bad, but many of the portfolios seemed good! I could not really distinguish between them on quality!