Stop reacting & start responding.

Here’s how you speak slowly.

Shadow Integration method.

Thread

One quality that separates a man from children is how he responds to interactions.

Any time someone interacts with you, you have two choices; you can either react, or you can respond.

A response is a thought out reply.

A reaction is emotional.
A reaction is urge driven. Its when you instantly reply without thinking.

Its very easy to identify those who are impulsive simply by looking at this trait.

Its a trait that frames you to be weak through several subliminal effects.
If you react, you communicate that you have no urge control and that you act on emotions.

This assumes you to be unreliable & not dependable.

Whether you like it or not, high-end professional people will notice these small details in your behaviour.
A dead give away of a reactive man is when he talks fast.

Talking fast shows that you dont think & operate on other people's time while not respecting your own.

It also makes the credibility of your dialogue shaky at best.

Because it indicates no thought was provided.
If you want to thoughtfully respond, you need to speak slower.

Using the shadow integration method, its easy to identify the trigger point of the urge that seeks to react instantly, preventing YOU from responding effectively.

Trigger: every time you interact with someone.
If you have a office job, you could interact with 20 people a day.

If retail, it could be in the 100's.

Every single one of these interactions are trigger points for your 'reactive' urge to manifest.

Every encounter is an opportunity to slow this reactive urge.
Begin at the start of the day with the first person you interact with; pause for 3 seconds before responding.

Don't worry about thinking what to say. Make the pause a habit first.

Count the people you successfully pause with in the day & write it down.
The aim is to pause with every single person you encounter every day.

Every time you successfully pause in a interaction, you weaken the 'reactive' urge and slowly set the foundation to respond thoughtfully.

The void the pause creates, will provoke thoughts by default.
Keep count & do this for a month, and you will see a difference in your ability to respond, over your urge to react.

I have used this method myself and taught it to several others at work who now talk slower and regularly respond with their best thought out opinions.
When you've reached a stage where you involuntarily pause before speaking, and involuntarily think about what the other person said before replying,

your 'reactive' urge has then successfully been integrated in your behaviour. You will have full control over its manifestation.
How people frame you will begin to change. They will take your opinion seriously, operate on YOUR time & you'll control the tempo of the interaction,

which adds to your credibility, dominance & leadership.

Ill be writing full length essays on all my threads, when my site is up.

More from ᴜɴᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ

More from Life

1/“What would need to be true for you to….X”

Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?

A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:

Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.

It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”

Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.

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They looked high.

They looked low.

They looked underneath every rock, behind every tree, into every bush.

And they found...NOTHING.

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Mueller got full 100% cooperation as the record will show.