I feared rejection
I rarely spoke up
I barely made new friends or approached women
People told me to my face "why do you never talk?"
Today I've realized the root of why I was so shy (you may have a huge epiphany moment reading this)...
I went from "shyest man alive" to speaking on stage.
If you're a man struggling with confidence, read this:
I feared rejection
I rarely spoke up
I barely made new friends or approached women
People told me to my face "why do you never talk?"
Today I've realized the root of why I was so shy (you may have a huge epiphany moment reading this)...
You see, 2000 years ago roaming the earth in tribes, you NEEDED to be liked or else you'd get kicked from your tribe, and face the mountain lions, disease, & conditions by yourself (basically meant death).
Other people take a different route - speak as much as possible.
But at the end of the day, we are all aiming to be liked.
1st - you must accept shyness does not serve you.
Once you fully accept this and are open to change, there are 7 keys I identified that helped me become confident.
Here are the 7 keys to confidence:
Social anxiety is an incorrect thought pattern.
You need to rewire your thinking.
Every morning, write 3 things you're grateful for.
Day by day, you'll reprogram your mind from anxiety to gratitude.
In 1 month, gratitude will become your default mindset.
Force yourself to do uncomfortable things.
Start small and push yourself more each time.
For me:
• I approached women
• I did a 5-min ice bath
• I faced my fear of heights
Soon you'll realize they're not so bad.
Your confidence will skyrocket.
I turned CNN off.
I deleted Tiktok.
I skipped sad music.
I cut out toxic people.
I blocked haters on Twitter.
Negative inputs = negative mind
Positive inputs = positive mind
I studied influence & psychology from books like:
• Influence - Cialdini
• The Social Animal - Aronson
• Psycho-Cybernetics - Maltz, M.D.
This gave me the tools to be confident in conversation with anyone.
To truly become confident, you have to change your self-identity.
Never call yourself:
• Shy
• Loser
• Sack of sh*t
You'll embody the identity you give yourself.
So identify as confident.
Most men lie to themselves everyday (I'll wake up at 6AM, I'll start the diet on Monday, etc)
To fix this, I created a daily list of 5 tasks that take me closer to my goals
If I did the tasks, I WON the day.
So everyday I kept promises to myself through 5 tasks.
I made fitness a priority.
And in 12 months, everything changed:
• I benched 275lbs
• I saw my abs for the 1st time
• I took my shirt off at the beach
I now looked in the mirror and was proud of what I saw.
Confidence starts in the gym.
1. Inputs
2. Power list
3. Journaling
4. Lift weights
5. Self-identity
6. Study psychology
7. Intentional discomfort
If you have 2.5 hours/week, you can do this.
DM me the word "Body" for details.
Click below to DM me "Body" 👇
https://t.co/IhTjnHrWKe
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Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?
A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:
2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to
- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal
3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:
Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.
Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.
4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?
To get clarity.
You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.
It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.
5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”
Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.
Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?
A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:
Next level tactic when closing a sale, candidate, or investment:
— Erik Torenberg (@eriktorenberg) February 27, 2018
Ask: \u201cWhat needs to be true for you to be all in?\u201d
You'll usually get an explicit answer that you might not get otherwise. It also holds them accountable once the thing they need becomes true.
2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to
- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal
3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:
Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.
Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.
4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?
To get clarity.
You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.
It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.
5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”
Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.
