Don't bet on Mitch McConnell retiring soon. It took him 40 years to reach sexual maturity and it's estimated that he could live for up to 200 years. His constant growth necessitates shedding his scutes, which are made of keratin, every few months.

Mitch McConnell is ectothermic, so he is unable to regulate his own body temperature, meaning he enters a state of brumation during the fall and winter months. This is why he adjourns the senate during the holidays.
Mitch McConnell uses the roof of his mouth to smell, specifically is vomeronasal organ, so when he's standing around with his mouth open in the Senate chambers he is in fact "tasting" his fellow Senators.
While Mitch McConnell has a strong, sharp beak capable of 300 pounds of pressure per square inch, he has no teeth. That means he can effectively rend flesh, but is rendered helpless by a mouth full of popcorn!
Like most testudines, Mitch McConnell has not evolved a strong sense of hearing and can only detect sounds over 60 decibels. He has also never been observed registering whispers, distant speech, or the needs of constituents.
Testudines are thought to have low intelligence, but Mitch McConnell has been observed navigating simple mazes, which puts him at the higher end of the functional spectrum for reptiles.
Mitch McConnell can lay anywhere between 20 to 200 eggs at a time. He digs a hole in soil or sand and deposits his clutch of leathery eggs in a gelatinous, protective goo. The high number is to account for the eggs that will be consumed by predators like Ted Cruz.
During the summer, Mitch McConnell will use his tough nails to dig burrows to hide from the scotching heat of the sun or from the Senate ethics committee.
Though Mitch McConnell is considered quite advanced for a reptile, he has failed the mirror test, so it is not clear whether he is self-aware. It is also worth noting that no reptile has to this point exhibited the capacity for empathy.
Mitch McConnell has security with him at all times to prevent Ted Cruz from rolling him over and feasting on the soft flesh of his underbelly.
Mitch McConnell is elusive as he spends up to 95% of his life underground and less than 1% in his home state.
A young Mitch McConnell in his wilder days.

More from Society

The UN just voted to condemn Israel 9 times, and the rest of the world 0.

View the resolutions and voting results here:

The resolution titled "The occupied Syrian Golan," which condemns Israel for "repressive measures" against Syrian citizens in the Golan Heights, was adopted by a vote of 151 - 2 - 14.

Israel and the U.S. voted 'No'
https://t.co/HoO7oz0dwr


The resolution titled "Israeli practices affecting the human rights of the Palestinian people..." was adopted by a vote of 153 - 6 - 9.

Australia, Canada, Israel, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and the U.S. voted 'No' https://t.co/1Ntpi7Vqab


The resolution titled "Israeli settlements in the Occupied Palestinian Territory, including East Jerusalem, and the occupied Syrian Golan" was adopted by a vote of 153 – 5 – 10.

Canada, Israel, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and the U.S. voted 'No'
https://t.co/REumYgyRuF


The resolution titled "Applicability of the Geneva Convention... to the
Occupied Palestinian Territory..." was adopted by a vote of 154 - 5 - 8.

Canada, Israel, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, and the U.S. voted 'No'
https://t.co/xDAeS9K1kW
Brief thread to debunk the repeated claims we hear about transmission not happening 'within school walls', infection in school children being 'a reflection of infection from the community', and 'primary school children less likely to get infected and contribute to transmission'.

I've heard a lot of scientists claim these three - including most recently the chief advisor to the CDC, where the claim that most transmission doesn't happen within the walls of schools. There is strong evidence to rebut this claim. Let's look at


Let's look at the trends of infection in different age groups in England first- as reported by the ONS. Being a random survey of infection in the community, this doesn't suffer from the biases of symptom-based testing, particularly important in children who are often asymptomatic

A few things to note:
1. The infection rates among primary & secondary school children closely follow school openings, closures & levels of attendance. E.g. We see a dip in infections following Oct half-term, followed by a rise after school reopening.


We see steep drops in both primary & secondary school groups after end of term (18th December), but these drops plateau out in primary school children, where attendance has been >20% after re-opening in January (by contrast with 2ndary schools where this is ~5%).

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क्या आप जानते हैं कि क्या है, पितृ पक्ष में कौवे को खाना देने के पीछे का वैज्ञानिक कारण!

श्राद्ध पक्ष में कौओं का बड़ा ही महत्व है। कहते है कौआ यम का प्रतीक है, यदि आपके हाथों दिया गया भोजन ग्रहण कर ले, तो ऐसा माना जाता है कि पितरों की कृपा आपके ऊपर है और वे आपसे ख़ुश है।


कुछ लोग कहते हैं की व्यक्ति मरकर सबसे पहले कौवे के रूप में जन्म लेता है और उसे खाना खिलाने से वह भोजन पितरों को मिलता है

शायद हम सबने अपने घर के किसी बड़े बुज़ुर्ग, किसी पंडित या ज्योतिषाचार्य से ये सुना होगा। वे अनगिनत किस्से सुनाएंगे, कहेंगे बड़े बुज़ुर्ग कह गए इसीलिए ऐसा करना

शायद ही हमें कोई इसके पीछे का वैज्ञानिक कारण बता सके।

हमारे ऋषि मुनि और पौराणिक काल में रहने वाले लोग मुर्ख नहीं थे! कभी सोचियेगा कौवों को पितृ पक्ष में खिलाई खीर हमारे पूर्वजों तक कैसे पहुंचेगी?

हमारे ऋषि मुनि विद्वान थे, वे जो बात करते या कहते थे उसके पीछे कोई न कोई वैज्ञानिक कारण छुपा होता था।

एक बहुत रोचक तथ्य है पितृ पक्ष, भादो( भाद्रपद) प्रकृति और काक के बीच।

एक बात जो कह सकते कि हम सब ने स्वतः उग आये पीपल या बरगद का पेड़/ पौधा किसी न किसी दीवार, पुरानी

इमारत, पर्वत या अट्टालिकाओं पर ज़रूर देखा होगा। देखा है न?

ज़रा सोचिये पीपल या बरगद की बीज कैसे पहुंचे होंगे वहाँ तक? इनके बीज इतने हल्के भी नहीं होते के हवा उन्हें उड़ाके ले जा सके।