BC LIFE
Saved by @Alex1Powell

How to find the motivation to do something.

Requested by followers

Thread

 I lean heavily towards psychoanalytic theory & Nitzschean philosophy.

That means with regards to this thread,

I believe not everyone has the ability to be motivated. And those that do, have multiple personalities constantly affecting their motivation.

Ill address accordingly.
Nietzsche believed not everyone can achieve an aim,

that they lack self-determination; which is a combination of self-control & self-legislation i.e

the ability to write laws in place that will help attain an aim while suppressing desires that directly/indirectly disrupt it.
This thread assumes you have the ability to set yourself an aim that generates enough motivation for you to pursue it.

Obviously the "how" of this thread will fail those who don't possess this quality.

Some will disagree & claim everyone possesses it.

And yet still fail.
Having the motivation to do something cannot be pinpointed or quantified. There's infinite amount of reasons on what compels people to do things.

But there is room to work and generate motivation for those who have none,

(assuming they possess the trait in temperament).
You need two ingredients to be motivated enough to achieve something:

1st - a source that generates motivation.

2nd - to protect the motivation’s longevity.

The 1st is achieved with self-contempt.

The 2nd is achieved through self-control.
To be motivated means to act in a particular way that would IDEALLY achieve something as a consequence of such repetitive behaviour.

This means there needs to be a reason for someone to behave in such particular way.

That reason is purpose or an objective.
Finding a purpose is easy:

A. Take stock of your current state of conditions.

B. Fantasise an ideal state of condition (doesn't matter if short-term).

Then make decisions that help you move from A to B.

Once achieved, set another purpose, this time with a longer timeframe.
The difficulty is in ACHIEVING the purpose.

One way is to live in contempt or oppression - it develops intensity to escape.

For eg: People who say 'don't work in a job you hate' dont consider the fact that the job you hate could well be the catalyst in achieving your purpose.
Its also possible to artificially generate a situation of "living in contempt" if you exeggerate your IDEAL situation.

Meaning: set an aim so high, that it makes your current situation suffer drastically in comparison,

WITHOUT obscuring the reality of achieving it.
This is why people in touch with their dark side such as jealousy or greed, have the ability to generate the motivation to succeed a purpose or objective.

Dark/negative emotions when concentrated into a desire to achieve, is an unmatched source of motivation.
Once you have enough contempt of your current situation, it should then generate motivation to achieve an ideal condition.

If it doesn't, then what you have doesn't suffer enough compared to what you want,

OR

you're the type that lacks the self-determination capacity.
Assuming you have now a source of motivation (self-contempt) to achieve a specific aim/purpose;

you then have to protect that motivation from your multiple personalities, all which come with their own set of urges & aims that directly conflict with yours.
A man who has found his purpose and generated enough motivation, can NEVER attain said purpose,

if his lust constantly aims to attain sexual pleasures by putting him in places that seek out women.

This is the essence of shadow integration, keeping your other selves in check.
Read my shadow integration threads.

Urges under your voluntary control will be prevented from undermining your motivation towards your aim.

This is what the 8th is all about; understanding your multiple personalities & developing a central governing-self through shadow work.
So motivation needs;

Self-contempt as a source to self-legislate laws in place to achieve a purpose that alleviates that contempt,

AND

protection through self-control, which is the integration of your other disruptive 'selves' through shadow work.
For those who have accepted they are not the self-determined type,

aim for daily objectives.

Do 1-2 things today for the purpose of making your tomorrow better.

When you get good at this, increase the timeframe. Aim for a week, a month & so on.

Full essay will be on my blog.

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ᴜɴᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ...
@UnmodernM
Men need to know when to take responsibility.

They also need to know when to refuse it.

Thread.

The word responsibility is being used as if its a mandatory quality for men to possess.

It's not. The conditions that make up the responsibility is what determines whether it should be upheld or not.

If a man is to take responsibility, he should first determine which domain it falls under.

If its family, unless they reached a level of disownment, responsibility meets no conditions.

It's a mans duty to carry as much as responsibility to alleviate his family's burden.

Outside family, responsibility should have at least one of 3 elements in exchange for upholding it:

1. An incentive
2. Authority
3. Leverage

Ideally you want responsibility to beget all three. Most of the time, you start off with only one.

Your new found duty must be rewarded in one way or another. Theres no reason to uphold anything unless you are rewarded. Its a waste of your time, effort & devalues your worth.

You might learn a thing or two, which can be valuable, but overall, it is value exchanged for nothing.
LIFE
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ᴜɴᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ...
@UnmodernM
Intolerance is a trait of a leader who elevates everyone around him.

If you want to lead, you must become intolerant.

Thread

Know that the degree of your tolerance is disproportional to the quality of your leadership.

The more tolerant you are, the lower the quality.

Because its not easy to uphold strong qualities & values.

Tolerance leads to erosion of your high standards.

Your responsibility as a leader is to create a culture where, whether its your followers, employees, family,

can grow and become exceptional in what you're directing them towards.

You need to protect this culture & cultivate it.

The protection of this culture will depend on

-your conviction to your leadership objective

-the values you need to uphold to attain this objective

-rejecting values that directly conflict with the attainment of your objective

Every time you compromise your leadership by accomodating lesser values through tolerance,

you not only weaken your own conviction, but you disrespect those who follow you,

who rely on your resilience to maintain the coherence & integrity of the culture you seek to build.
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ᴜɴᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ...
@UnmodernM
How to present yourself as a man who is worth investing in.

Requested by followers.

Thread

Anyone who plays the status game is not worthy of any seriousness.

But that does not mean, those who are serious & competent should look & behave in a cheap manner.

People are watching. To be worthy of investing in, you must show degree of status.

It’s the world we live in.

Be relaxed and still. Nothing should faze you. Your reaction to good news, should be equal to bad news: neutral.

Learn to downplay an achievement, while remaining calm when encountering failure.

It shows resilience towards hard times, & self control during good times.

Control your emotions. Or at least mimic the emotions of the person you’re talking to. Emotions are the portal in which regrettable behaviours emerge.

You instantly lack reliability when you uncontrollably release your emotions.

Read my shadow integration threads.

Maintain respect. Don’t swear. Profanity instantly makes you look cheap. It makes you look weak & not in control.

“Can’t trust a man who doesn’t swear” is trash nonsense.

Truth is, you can’t rely on a man who fails to control his words at the right time & right place.
LIFE , ESSENTIAL
UnmodernM
UnmodernM
@UnmodernM
How to vet a woman. Qualify her by setting your standards.

Thread

If you want to vet a woman properly, you need to separate two components that makes up who she is;

Macro scale - her deep values that make up her belief system.

Micro scale - her everyday habits & behaviours.

Macro cannot be easily modified, the micros can.

A woman's belief system in life takes one of two pathways,

she either chooses a path of independence, where her values shape around it,

or she chooses to seek femininity.

One directly conflicts with the other. The more independent she becomes, the less feminine she is.

Obviously you want a feminine woman. And that would mean to vet how far she is willing to go in her line of career. If career ascension is her aim, her belief system does not align with yours.

Her career must stop somewhere for her to be able to regain her feminine nature.

Determine how agreeable she is. By default, all women are more agreeable than disagreeable.

That means a woman who's gone out of her way to become disagreeable (for example career ascension) is a red flag, unless circumstances justify it.
LIFE
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ᴜɴᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ...
@UnmodernM
I have never come across a moment in my professional career where I have found arrogance to be useful.

It costs you every time you employ it.

But there are times when the benefit of being arrogant outweighs the damage it does.

Restricted to certain conditions only.

Thread

Arrogance is the quality of being 'unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are better, or know more than other people'.

This is the actual definition of it.

And it means the only time arrogance serves well is when being unpleasant & up yourself, works in your favour.

Arrogance makes it easy to repel people you don't want to associate yourself with.

If you're a leader or in a position of influence, its very easy for your pleasantness to be mistaken for availability,

in which everyone would flock to abuse it with no regard or respect.

Allowing everyone your time will devalue your credibility down to those who have none.

So it makes sense to be unpleasant around those you don't want to waste time around.

It also makes others work hard to get your recognition & availability.

If you've worked hard to get to where you are, not everyone has the right for your availability.

Arrogance insulates you from those who seek clout & extract value off you. Its a useful tool to employ to preserve your time.

But even then, you risk repelling people of value.
LIFE

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Haha y'all fw this tweet very well 😀

So why we're here lemme show you guys WHAT IMPRESSES A MAN MOST IN BED

Sweetie I wanna remind you that every Good sex😍 is based on mutual respect and love❤, so make sure that the guy you’re fucking is worthy of you.

. and never waste effort on a guy who isn't worth it. But as long as you’re convinced of the hero-status of this guy, your endeavours will never be wasted❤.

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“We don’t negotiate salaries” is a negotiation tactic.

Always. No, your company is not an exception.

A tactic I don’t appreciate at all because of how unfairly it penalizes low-leverage, junior employees, and those loyal enough not to question it, but that’s negotiation for you after all. Weaponized information asymmetry.

Listen to Aditya


And by the way, you should never be worried that an offer would be withdrawn if you politely negotiate.

I have seen this happen *extremely* rarely, mostly to women, and anyway is a giant red flag. It suggests you probably didn’t want to work there.

You wish there was no negotiating so it would all be more fair? I feel you, but it’s not happening.

Instead, negotiate hard, use your privilege, and then go and share numbers with your underrepresented and underpaid colleagues. […]
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How to Get Rich (without getting lucky):

Seek wealth, not money or status. Wealth is having assets that earn while you sleep. Money is how we transfer time and wealth. Status is your place in the social hierarchy.

Understand that ethical wealth creation is possible. If you secretly despise wealth, it will elude you.

Ignore people playing status games. They gain status by attacking people playing wealth creation games.

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Mona Eltahawy
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@monaeltahawy
Three years ago today, I was icing my knuckles because I’d beaten the fuck out of a man who had groped me in a club a couple of nights before. I wrote about it in my new essay https://t.co/SqzluTtJKb 📷 @rerutled #IBeatMyAssaulter


After I explained to a club manager what had happened, he ooked at my Beloved and asked me “Why didn’t you let your husband take care of it?” I almost beat him up too.

“First of all, he’s not my husband. Also, this is my body, I take care of it.”

Patriarchy enables and protects men who sexually assault women, and it demands that only other men “protect” us.

As long as we obey and behave in ways it approves of, of course. Protection is conditional.Because if we disobey, ha! I don't want to be protected. I want to be free

I started #IBeatMyAssaulter and women from around the world shared stories.

Five days earlier, I had started #MosqueMeToo to talk about being sexually assaulted during pilgrimage and women from around the world shared stories 🎥 @rerutled


And between the two #, men were showing me how easily the goal posts can move.

Under #MosqueMeToo men asked me, “Why didn’t you make more of a fuss?” Under #IBeatMyAssaulter men said, “You made too much of a fuss. You were too violent. Don’t you think you overreacted?”
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10 Red flags to note in relationships .

A thread !

1. Secrecy - There is a difference between being private and being secretive . Anyone who doesn’t want people to know you are dating may have somethings they are hiding . It’s ok to be private but alarm bells should ring where there is secrecy .

2. Barter - The relationship is almost always about what is being exchanged . While there will be exchanges in every relationship, an undue focus on this will indicate that someone is there for something they can get and not what they can give .

3. Misaligned values - What is sacred to you isn’t respected by the other .values like honesty , integrity , respect isn’t important to the other party . A relationship with nonaligned values cannot work ! There will always be conflict .

4. Mystery income - Some folks are dating thieves , robbers and fraudsters and always have signs to indicate that their partners are fraudulent. It is a huge red flag not to know what your other half actually does for money . It’s not wise to join a sinking boat .
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💬 I often get Q’s like these:

How did you get your first customers for WIP? How did you grow BetaList’s traffic? Etc.

Makers are looking to reverse-engineer success. I see it everywhere.

I don’t think it works that way and the answers to those questions are mostly useless. 💥

I have built dozens of different products over the last couple of years. The vast majority failed. 😭

Surely if I know the answers to these questions, but still fail over and over again, these answers aren’t that useful. 🤷‍♀️

So what’s a better question to ask? 🤔

99.9% of the questions I receive are about the products that did well. In a way that makes sense, because we quickly forget about those that didn’t succeed.

🧠 This is known as survivorship bias.

Focusing on what survived, while ignoring what made it survive in the first place.

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What makes @WIP, @BetaList, and to some extent @AllStartupJobs succeed where my countless other attempts failed?

What separates a failed product 👎 from a successful product 👍?

Honestly, I don’t know. I wish I did.

It’s like Steve Jobs said “I’ll know it when I see it.” 👀

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