Nothing is wrong with patterns.
However, there is a problem when all you have are patterns.
It's boring.
'Can you explain why?'
Sure ๐
A relationship begins to get stiff when excessive patterns begin to form.
Too many patterns leads to a boring, predictable, logical lifestyle.
Get the emotions involved.
Do something spontaneous out of the blue moon & flip the script.
Nothing is wrong with patterns.
However, there is a problem when all you have are patterns.
It's boring.
'Can you explain why?'
Sure ๐
It's very difficult to logically explain love, right?
'Right.'
Well this is where you want to steer the ship the right way.
1. Too emotional is bad.
2. Too logical is bad.
Let me break it down.
If a relationship is completely ruled by emotions, then it's too volatile.
You will never reach productivity if you are aimlessly only following each others emotions.
This lifestyle tarnishes any structure for the couple.
'So why do people do it?'
You may ruled by this stage in the honeymoon phase.
Normal.
You'll be so spontaneous that it almost becomes a lifestyle.
But it's hard to level up your life when you're too spontaneous.
Avoid.
This happens later on in the relationship.
You 2 have gotten to know each other.
Got the honeymoon phase out of the way.
Now?
All you do is the same shit.
Day in & day out.
*yawn*
'So why do people do this if it's so bad?'
Few reasons.
You feel like you two have already gotten each other.
No more need to spice it up.
Results?
The zest you once had becomes bland.
A bland relationship is one of the leading causes of breakups.
What was once magical is no more.
Uh oh.
'What do I do?'
You flip the script homie!
I'm not going to give you activities, that's something you can do research on your own.
But I do want to give a solid piece of advice.
Always keep romancing one another.
Do not be content.
You should always be courting the person you're dating.
'Ah so no contentment?'
Correct.
More from ArmaniTalks ๐๐ฅ
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โWe donโt negotiate salariesโ is a negotiation tactic.
Always. No, your company is not an exception.
A tactic I donโt appreciate at all because of how unfairly it penalizes low-leverage, junior employees, and those loyal enough not to question it, but thatโs negotiation for you after all. Weaponized information asymmetry.
Listen to Aditya
And by the way, you should never be worried that an offer would be withdrawn if you politely negotiate.
I have seen this happen *extremely* rarely, mostly to women, and anyway is a giant red flag. It suggests you probably didnโt want to work there.
You wish there was no negotiating so it would all be more fair? I feel you, but itโs not happening.
Instead, negotiate hard, use your privilege, and then go and share numbers with your underrepresented and underpaid colleagues. [โฆ]
Always. No, your company is not an exception.
A tactic I donโt appreciate at all because of how unfairly it penalizes low-leverage, junior employees, and those loyal enough not to question it, but thatโs negotiation for you after all. Weaponized information asymmetry.
Listen to Aditya
"we don't negotiate salaries" really means "we'd prefer to negotiate massive signing bonuses and equity grants, but we'll negotiate salary if you REALLY insist" https://t.co/80k7nWAMoK
— Aditya Mukerjee, the Otterrific \U0001f3f3\ufe0f\u200d\U0001f308 (@chimeracoder) December 4, 2018
And by the way, you should never be worried that an offer would be withdrawn if you politely negotiate.
I have seen this happen *extremely* rarely, mostly to women, and anyway is a giant red flag. It suggests you probably didnโt want to work there.
You wish there was no negotiating so it would all be more fair? I feel you, but itโs not happening.
Instead, negotiate hard, use your privilege, and then go and share numbers with your underrepresented and underpaid colleagues. [โฆ]
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1/ Some initial thoughts on personal moats:
Like company moats, your personal moat should be a competitive advantage that is not only durableโit should also compound over time.
Characteristics of a personal moat below:
2/ Like a company moat, you want to build career capital while you sleep.
As Andrew Chen noted:
3/ You donโt want to build a competitive advantage that is fleeting or that will get commoditized
Things that might get commoditized over time (some longer than
4/ Before the arrival of recorded music, what used to be scarce was the actual music itself โ required an in-person artist.
After recorded music, the music itself became abundant and what became scarce was curation, distribution, and self space.
5/ Similarly, in careers, what used to be (more) scarce were things like ideas, money, and exclusive relationships.
In the internet economy, what has become scarce are things like specific knowledge, rare & valuable skills, and great reputations.
Like company moats, your personal moat should be a competitive advantage that is not only durableโit should also compound over time.
Characteristics of a personal moat below:
I'm increasingly interested in the idea of "personal moats" in the context of careers.
— Erik Torenberg (@eriktorenberg) November 22, 2018
Moats should be:
- Hard to learn and hard to do (but perhaps easier for you)
- Skills that are rare and valuable
- Legible
- Compounding over time
- Unique to your own talents & interests https://t.co/bB3k1YcH5b
2/ Like a company moat, you want to build career capital while you sleep.
As Andrew Chen noted:
People talk about \u201cpassive income\u201d a lot but not about \u201cpassive social capital\u201d or \u201cpassive networking\u201d or \u201cpassive knowledge gaining\u201d but that\u2019s what you can architect if you have a thing and it grows over time without intensive constant effort to sustain it
— Andrew Chen (@andrewchen) November 22, 2018
3/ You donโt want to build a competitive advantage that is fleeting or that will get commoditized
Things that might get commoditized over time (some longer than
Things that look like moats but likely aren\u2019t or may fade:
— Erik Torenberg (@eriktorenberg) November 22, 2018
- Proprietary networks
- Being something other than one of the best at any tournament style-game
- Many "awards"
- Twitter followers or general reach without "respect"
- Anything that depends on information asymmetry https://t.co/abjxesVIh9
4/ Before the arrival of recorded music, what used to be scarce was the actual music itself โ required an in-person artist.
After recorded music, the music itself became abundant and what became scarce was curation, distribution, and self space.
5/ Similarly, in careers, what used to be (more) scarce were things like ideas, money, and exclusive relationships.
In the internet economy, what has become scarce are things like specific knowledge, rare & valuable skills, and great reputations.
