Shy people are either overthinking or highly observant of the social setting.
'So what do I do?'
You learn the 75/25 law.
'What is that?'
The law of charisma...👇
Do you have any idea why you overthink?
'Yea. Because others are judging how shy I am.'
Others are thinking about themselves, not you.
Now you stay in your head too much & avoid the present moment.
A major no no in the social world.
And that's when you start giving off a strange vibration to the social setting.
This is when you begin attracting comments like 'why are you so quiet?'
It's YOU who did that.
When you have the awareness to realize that overthinking:
1. Is born from an illusion of being watched.
2. Attracts the wrong vibes
You become much more mindful & stay in the present moment.
Although their mouth isn't running, their mind is.
They pick up on social cues which are not being noticed by others.
This group of shy people are placing most of their attention on being aware rather than speaking
So this group has an edge in terms of social awareness.
Because solid social awareness helps with listening skills.
And listening skills build social awareness.
This is the path towards charisma
☆75% listening & 25% speaking.
If you look at most charismatic people, you'll see they often follow this rule.
☆~95% listening & 5% speaking.
That's just a rough average.
So in order to become more charismatic you aren't talking THAT much more.
Just ~20% more.
You're not talking 90% more or something bold like that.
Just 20 ish.
If you can't do that, then idk what to tell ya.
You're undermining your potential
That's the best way to look at it.
Use your shy stage to build social awareness & your listening muscle
Those are the foundations of any human interaction.
This thread has now given you a blueprint on how to handle shyness.
Having the blueprint will allow you to move with intent vs. hesitancy.
So use your shyness as a weapon vs. an excuse to be a wimp!
You'll see the compound effects in no time.
For more tips to level up your social skills, follow your boii @ArmaniTalks 🌍🚀
More from ArmaniTalks 🎙🔥
When you procrastinate, you are focusing too much on the big tasks.
Focus on the small tasks & build up.
Ex: instead of focusing on getting the entire blog done, do 1 paragraph.
You will strangely want to complete another paragraph...
Bonus Hack: Song
Have one song that gets you hyped up.
Promise yourself after playing the song 2-3 times, you will immediately begin.
No questions asked.
The song amps up your emotions & you approach the task with energy.
Bonus Hack: Game
Turn mundane tasks into a game.
Use your creativity.
If you’re a gamer, break tasks into levels & kill each boss.
If you like music, reward yourself with a song after each completion.
Challenge: Aim to do some pushups or pullups after each crossed off goal.
My storytelling newsletter will give you practical tips to level up your mind & level up you life.
To stay ahead of the game, sign up for free here :
Don't reward snakes, haters, cloutchasers with respect.
Punish them with distance.
Respect is reserved for respectable people.
Not bitchmade clowns.
'But I thought we were supposed to treat everyone with respect. That's what my mommy told me.'
Your mommy lied to you.
Treating everyone with respect does you more harm than good.
Let me use an analogy to explain...
Keep reading 👇
Let's talk about money for example.
What do you spend your money on?
'I spend it on quality items that can benefit me in some way.'
Why don't you spend it on shitty products too?
'Bc that would be a waste of my money!'
Same concept applies to people.
Your times is wayyyy more valuable than money. Not even close.
So why are you spending your time on shitty people?
You can be spending that time & energy on respectable people instead.
Never reward bad behavior.
A snake or hater who are rewarded with respect will think their behavior is acceptable.
Treat them like the bottom feeding shit heads that they are.
'Why not attack back?'
Because distance bothers them more.
If you are compromising too much, there is a chance that you are getting manipulated.
Why are you the one that's always compromising?
How come the other person always gets their way?
Be more curious.
If something seems off, stick up for yourself.
'Wait, you sure I am being manipulated?'
I have no clue, that is only something that you can decide for yourself.
'Dang is there anything I need to look out for?'
But let me give you a few things to look out for.
I see manipulation as skillfully controlling someone's behavior for egotistical or unethical purposes.
'How come people don't leave when it's happening to them?'
Because most people have 0 clue that they are being manipulated.
1. Guilt Trip
You ever made a mistake around someone, only for them to hold it over your head?
The will always bring up the mistake when you 2 are not seeing eye to eye.
These people will use that mistake as leverage to get what they want from you in the future.
2. The Rationalizer
This person will commit the worst acts & find a way to rationalize it.
Example: cheaters when they get caught.
They have every excuse in the book for why they did it.
Heck, they are so good at rationalizing, they will make it seem like your fault.
Then you choke.
Some of the best speakers from my time during Toastmasters choked their 1st speech.
When you mess up, you realize the world doesn't end.
After making this realization, you feel a sense of relief for your next speech.
This is not a green light to not practice beforehand
But if you gave it your best effort to prepare & the nerves got the best of you, do not beat yourself up.
I guarantee that choking is not a big deal like you think it is.
'How do you know?'
Bc I am speaking from experience.
'So what was it like?'
Well, this was my 1st ever Toastmasters meeting.
I went to just sit on my ass & observe.
Tbh, I went because I was hungry & thought they were going to have toast.
There were atleast 75 people there.
Many people that I knew from my school
After seeing all those familiar faces, I sat all the way in the back.
I was praying that I did not get called on stage.
I had massive speech anxiety then.
*the meeting began*
The table topics started (random people get called up & give an impromptu speech about a topic)
I was the first person called.
The toastmaster from the event thought he was being slick by calling the people in the back.
I was straight up mortified.
Walking to the front of the stage felt like the longest walk of my life.
Felt like a nightmare tbh.
Only give these currencies to high value people. Never spend these currencies on low value shitheads eg: trolls, weasels, snakes, naysayers etc.
'Wait, I thought money was the most important currency?'
Once you adopt abundance mentality, you realize their is no shortage of money.
Making the dollars your most important currency will have you leading an empty life.
Time to flip your perspective.
When you strip yourself to the core, you are an emotional creature.
Emotions are your internal worlds energy.
Harnessing that energy is crucial for leveraging yourself to obtain whatever you want.
You have a finite amount everyday, so spend it wisely.
A second that is lost will never be returned.
You start valuing the hell out of this currency the more you mature.
As the years start adding up, you realize time is precious.
You must always have a scarcity mindset towards time.
Once you do so, you will not be lazy.
You can be here, but not present.
Attention is completely mental.
Giving someone your attention means you are clearing up mental bandwidth to make room for them.
Only give your attention to people who help you grow.
For the negative ones?
Ignore their existence
More from Life
“I’m not upset that you lied to me. I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe in you”- Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes in October, I received a call from a former client who had been out of the country for almost a year.
He is not a Nigerian but had just secured an appointment with a company. His first statement was “Bayo, I need to pick your brain on this because with you I know where I stand. I know you’ll not deceive me”.
After our discussion, he told me he had already informed his Chairman that their banking relationship had to come to me. I’ve signed it on since.
I’ve had cause to reflect over his statement many times since then. Here was a man whom sometimes I had very difficult conversations with. I’ve had to tell him no when I knew his requests were not possible. Sometimes, the relationship was stormy.
I never fail to tell my colleagues that the major currency for transaction is integrity and this will only be sustained in an atmosphere of trust. Never lie to customers in order to make a sale.
I'm giving up on social media consumption too.
So little substance.
Need to devote more time doing. More time creating.
Who needs another "5 ways to boost growth" post? I click and am disappointed every time. Not again.
I don't want to poop on content marketing, but marketers need to step it up.
Or at least, founders need to know that doing something is not always better than doing nothing.
Why is content marketing not as effective as it used to be? An innumerable amount of factors...
But one things for damn sure.
Things have to change.
Two of the chief sins:
1. Unoriginal research/story/study/etc
2. Not having anything more to add that's meaningful
Why blog/podcast/vlog/etc about something that's already been said? Already been done?
Do we really need another interview with founder of x hot startup? Do we really need another ultimate guide about facebook ads?
Not all content is like this...
Sometimes, you get an occasional piece that truly leaves you better off than you were before. That doesn't make you want to skim.
An original case study. A first time interview with a founder. An honest account of an experiment. An explanation of a change, shift, or realization.
1. what counts as proof?
2. what counts as failure?
3. not working for whom?
4. not working towards what end?
what counts as proof? and what counts as failure?
in order to answer this one needs to understand a thing well enough to know what success looks like and to know what failure modes exist.
A thing can fail by succumbing to a known failure mode, or failing in a new way. New failure modes commonly emerge from new contexts. Or they may be due to new developments in an existing context.
proof of failure means you have observed (rather than concluded via hearsay or via abstract reasoning) failure in a known mode or new mode. in order to obtain this proof, a relatively close distance or even insider perspective is usually necessary.
failure modes are specific to the thing being examined but there are some very common patterns. here's a couple of the most common patterns:
1) Learn The Basic Of Non-verbal Communications
It's not about what you say, it's how you say it.
For a clear and confident conversation, focus on your posture.
Avoid folding your arms or making your self smaller than you are.
Use your eye contact to break the gap.
2) Respect Your Audience
As a speaker, you should respect your audience.
They are here for you to listen. They want to listen to your ideas, so you must respect them.
Remember the quote “Give respect, Take respect“.
If you fail to give respect, they will not listen to you.
3) Ask for honest feedback
Whenever u have a conversation with anyone ask them about your mistakes, progress you have done in conversation.
This will help you in achieving your goals and by looking after your mistakes, you will learn them and improve it.
4) Maintain Eye Contact
Effective comm. is where the speaker makes eye contact with his audience.
The receiver starts trusting to him and shows interest in his words.
Maintaining eye contact builds credibility, and also it shows you care about your listeners.
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Can we build a better chatbot using this control?
And what makes a good conversation anyway?
Check out the blog post for our NAACL paper:
#AI #NLProc #DeepLearning #ConversationalAI @facebookai
This post got a little delayed since the paper's publication, but the intervening time has given me an opportunity to reflect.
So this post has some extra thoughts regarding more recent NLG developments - e.g., pretrained models like GPT(2), and the suitability of beam search.
Control of the House is useless when it comes to keeping Trump from declassifying all the SpyGate docs. Or stopping an Inspector General from releasing a report.
Trump still gets control of judicial appointments so we can expect another 100 judges over the next two years. This time there’ll be no McCain or Flake playing the Maverick role with their swing vote.
That new margin in the Senate is huge if another Supreme Court seat comes open.
So from the responses I’m getting, people seem to think if Trump declassifies the Spygate stuff now, nothing happens.
Are you under the impression federal prosecutors have to wait until CONGRESS finishes an investigation and makes criminal referrals before the DOJ can act?
There’s a federal grand jury on McCabe right now. Did Congress ever finish it’s investigation and make a referral to the DOJ against him?
BUT INSPECTOR GENERAL HOROWITZ DID. On finishing his McCabe leak report.
Funny how nobody remembers that.
Those who exited at 1500 needed money. They can always come back near 969. Those who exited at 230 also needed money. They can come back near 95.
Those who sold L @ 660 can always come back at 360. Those who sold S last week can be back @ 301
Sir, Log yahan.. 13 days patience nhi rakh sakte aur aap 2013 ki baat kar rahe ho. Even Aap Ready made portfolio banakar bhi de do to bhi wo 1 month me hi EXIT kar denge \U0001f602— BhavinKhengarSuratGujarat (@IntradayWithBRK) September 19, 2021
Neuland 2700 se 1500 & Sequent 330 to 230 kya huwa.. 99% retailers/investors twitter par charcha n EXIT\U0001f602
1)EMA 8 above EMA 34 and rising
2)Candle close above previous 5 candle high
3) RSI above 60
4) Volume above previous 5 candles
5) ADX above 30
Select Double Moving Average 8 and 34
Under Patterns select Close Above Prev Bars
Qualify the candle close
RSI above 60
Five billionaires share their top lessons on startups, life and entrepreneurship (1/10)
I interviewed 5 billionaires this week— GREG ISENBERG (@gregisenberg) January 23, 2021
I asked them to share their lessons learned on startups, life and entrepreneurship:
Here's what they told me:
10 competitive advantages that will trump talent (2/10)
To outperform, you need serious competitive advantages.— Sahil Bloom (@SahilBloom) March 20, 2021
But contrary to what you have been told, most of them don't require talent.
10 competitive advantages that you can start developing today:
Some harsh truths you probably don’t want to hear (3/10)
I\u2019ve gotten a lot of bad advice in my career and I see even more of it here on Twitter.— Nick Huber (@sweatystartup) January 3, 2021
Time for a stiff drink and some truth you probably dont want to hear.
10 significant lies you’re told about the world (4/10)
THREAD: 10 significant lies you're told about the world.— Julian Shapiro (@Julian) January 9, 2021
On startups, writing, and your career: