
So I was in the shower this morning, and started wondering:
Do you think the people implicated in Jeffrey Epstein's book had a general "Dead men tell no tales" slush fund?
Or did they have to separately organize his assignation?

"Same thing as you, looks like."
"Yeah, go ahead. I'll get paid either way."
"Hello boys... Don't worry about it. I did it an hour ago."
"Damn it Scarlet, you're too fast! Leave some jobs for the rest of us, you know?"
"Good to see you, though, I thought you got killed in Barcelona a couple years ago?"
"I need you to do a job: They're in a prison, it needs to happen fast, by the end of the week. Make it look like an accident."
"I've got a job for you... it needs to be fast, Sunday at the latest"
"I'm a bit busy, but I might have time to pencil that in. Lemme guess, a prisoner?"
"well I'll be goddamned."
"Here's the second half of your fee. Well done, and it's a pleasure doing business with you."
"No! I was hired too, but someone else did it first"
But they're laughed out of the room every time.
The NYC Traffic Copter 1 reported heavy traffic on the Brooklyn bridge that night, unusually so.
Sardinia hasn't been an independent nation since the mid-19th century? and all their currency was coins, not banknotes.
All the biological remnants point to the target being there, which everyone knew in the first place.
It's the perfect crime.
You gotta spend the time to recruit them, then years carefully training them, and when they're finally ready for their first real job, they ask "So who's my target?"
and you slide a folder across the table, containing a picture of themselves.
Just imagine!
You've spent the last 5 years in the alternate universe (getting into nearly 3 Zeppelin crashes in the meantime), training someone who looks exactly like your target (but with a goatee) to be the ultimate killer...
What do you do now? All that time, all that money, all that WORK!
No, there's worse things than spending half a decade planning the perfect interdimensional murder only to be too late...
1. alternate versions of yourself have a goatee
2. alternate universes have zeppelins
There are two obvious possibilities, both equally plausible but equally silly: Your alternate has no goatee, or they have two goatees
Our universe has had zeppelins before. Does that mean we were in an alternate universe during those times?
"From this premise, it is not outside the realm of Plausibility that our history between 1900 and 1936 was, in fact, an Alternate History. It would, at least, explain a lot."
"The Goodyear Blimp" is none of those three things, and the reason it's not a Blimp is that it's a Zeppelin!
https://t.co/3zIC8gvz06
Fun stupid fact:
— foone (@Foone) January 8, 2019
The Goodyear Blimp isn't.
I mean, it isn't a Blimp. (It's also not "The" Goodyear Blimp anymore. There's three of them) pic.twitter.com/QMxSx26hbF
Feel free to steal my stupid ideas for your next story about potentially multiversal assassins trying to kill convicted pedophiles in prison before they could spill the beans.
He was a guy who got arrested for sex trafficking and it turned out he'd been hanging out with rich and powerful people for decades, and had many of them in his contacts list.
Officially it was a suicide, but that claim is widely distrusted.
Yeah, no one is surprised he didn't survive.
More from foone
So I got out some CF cards and noticed something odd about this one. Do you see the weirdness?
How the fuck is a CF card "USB Enabled"?
So CF cards are a weird beast that act as either a PCMCIA card or an ATA/IDE card depending on a mode pin.
They're definitely not USB.
And it's not like that weird SanDisk card I have which you can fold in half and plug it in as a USB device.
It turns out the reason for "USB Enabled" is because it's a Lexar drive from the jumpSHOT era.
This is a normal CF card in most cases, you can use it in normal CF card readers and such

How the fuck is a CF card "USB Enabled"?

So CF cards are a weird beast that act as either a PCMCIA card or an ATA/IDE card depending on a mode pin.
They're definitely not USB.
And it's not like that weird SanDisk card I have which you can fold in half and plug it in as a USB device.
Flip it over, bend it in half, and now you can plug your SD card right into a USB port pic.twitter.com/jeBefP2xU1
— foone (@Foone) May 2, 2020
It turns out the reason for "USB Enabled" is because it's a Lexar drive from the jumpSHOT era.
This is a normal CF card in most cases, you can use it in normal CF card readers and such
More from Culture
I'm going to do two history threads on Ethiopia, one on its ancient history, one on its modern story (1800 to today). 🇪🇹
I'll begin with the ancient history ... and it goes way back. Because modern humans - and before that, the ancestors of humans - almost certainly originated in Ethiopia. 🇪🇹 (sub-thread):
The first likely historical reference to Ethiopia is ancient Egyptian records of trade expeditions to the "Land of Punt" in search of gold, ebony, ivory, incense, and wild animals, starting in c 2500 BC 🇪🇹
Ethiopians themselves believe that the Queen of Sheba, who visited Israel's King Solomon in the Bible (c 950 BC), came from Ethiopia (not Yemen, as others believe). Here she is meeting Solomon in a stain-glassed window in Addis Ababa's Holy Trinity Church. 🇪🇹
References to the Queen of Sheba are everywhere in Ethiopia. The national airline's frequent flier miles are even called "ShebaMiles". 🇪🇹
I'll begin with the ancient history ... and it goes way back. Because modern humans - and before that, the ancestors of humans - almost certainly originated in Ethiopia. 🇪🇹 (sub-thread):
The famous \u201cLucy\u201d, an early ancestor of modern humans (Australopithecus) that lived 3.2 million years ago, and was discovered in 1974 in Ethiopia, displayed in the national museum in Addis Ababa \U0001f1ea\U0001f1f9 pic.twitter.com/N3oWqk1SW2
— Patrick Chovanec (@prchovanec) November 9, 2018
The first likely historical reference to Ethiopia is ancient Egyptian records of trade expeditions to the "Land of Punt" in search of gold, ebony, ivory, incense, and wild animals, starting in c 2500 BC 🇪🇹

Ethiopians themselves believe that the Queen of Sheba, who visited Israel's King Solomon in the Bible (c 950 BC), came from Ethiopia (not Yemen, as others believe). Here she is meeting Solomon in a stain-glassed window in Addis Ababa's Holy Trinity Church. 🇪🇹

References to the Queen of Sheba are everywhere in Ethiopia. The national airline's frequent flier miles are even called "ShebaMiles". 🇪🇹

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1/ 👋 Excited to share what we’ve been building at https://t.co/GOQJ7LjQ2t + we are going to tweetstorm our progress every week!
Week 1 highlights: getting shortlisted for YC W2019🤞, acquiring a premium domain💰, meeting Substack's @hamishmckenzie and Stripe CEO @patrickc 🤩
2/ So what is Brew?
brew / bru : / to make (beer, coffee etc.) / verb: begin to develop 🌱
A place for you to enjoy premium content while supporting your favorite creators. Sort of like a ‘Consumer-facing Patreon’ cc @jackconte
(we’re still working on the pitch)
3/ So, why be so transparent? Two words: launch strategy.
jk 😅 a) I loooove doing something consistently for a long period of time b) limited downside and infinite upside (feedback, accountability, reach).
cc @altimor, @pmarca
4/ https://t.co/GOQJ7LjQ2t domain 🍻
It started with a cold email. Guess what? He was using BuyMeACoffee on his blog, and was excited to hear about what we're building next. Within 2w, we signed the deal at @Escrowcom's SF office. You’re a pleasure to work with @MichaelCyger!
5/ @ycombinator's invite for the in-person interview arrived that evening. Quite a day!
Thanks @patio11 for the thoughtful feedback on our YC application, and @gabhubert for your directions on positioning the product — set the tone for our pitch!
Week 1 highlights: getting shortlisted for YC W2019🤞, acquiring a premium domain💰, meeting Substack's @hamishmckenzie and Stripe CEO @patrickc 🤩
2/ So what is Brew?
brew / bru : / to make (beer, coffee etc.) / verb: begin to develop 🌱
A place for you to enjoy premium content while supporting your favorite creators. Sort of like a ‘Consumer-facing Patreon’ cc @jackconte
(we’re still working on the pitch)
3/ So, why be so transparent? Two words: launch strategy.
jk 😅 a) I loooove doing something consistently for a long period of time b) limited downside and infinite upside (feedback, accountability, reach).
cc @altimor, @pmarca

4/ https://t.co/GOQJ7LjQ2t domain 🍻
It started with a cold email. Guess what? He was using BuyMeACoffee on his blog, and was excited to hear about what we're building next. Within 2w, we signed the deal at @Escrowcom's SF office. You’re a pleasure to work with @MichaelCyger!
5/ @ycombinator's invite for the in-person interview arrived that evening. Quite a day!
Thanks @patio11 for the thoughtful feedback on our YC application, and @gabhubert for your directions on positioning the product — set the tone for our pitch!
