Looks like we need to spend some time talking about the Parler lolsuit against Amazon and why it's deader than a Mitch McConnell comedy special. They've brought three claims - antitrust, breach of contract, and tortious interference. None will survive. Here's why
https://t.co/3ixZYQ8nRc
Five minutes of scrolling a search for #hangmikepence, a gallery: pic.twitter.com/40hsyJNK50
— Jawafawa (@jawafawa) January 11, 2021
But more fundamentally, Parler has a legal problem: There's no right to have a contracting party apply its rules equally. If you and I sign a contract with a supplier that says the supplier can stop providing us with beer if
Folks ...
But when your core argument is "this conduct makes me think it's an anti-competitive conspiracy," DON'T SPECIFICALLY ALLEGE AN ALTERNATIVE, NON-CONSPIRACY EXPLANATION FOR IT
"They did this as a conspiracy to help Biden" isn't an allegation of fact. It's a *conclusion* being alleged as *supported* by the factual allegations.
— Akiva Cohen (@AkivaMCohen) November 27, 2020
An example near and dear to my heart may make the distinction clearer. Anyone remember Asghar Bukhari?
Here's the wikipedia summary of what the Supreme Court held, which is good enough to work with.
If so, you're a step ahead of Parler's lawyers, who apparently completely missed it.
That's just not a thing.
Also, we're a competitor of Twitter. This is important, because we're about to segue into their evidence of an antitrust conspiracy
No, it is too much, let me sum up:
Amazon serves us and also Twitter. It was afraid we would grow at Twitter's expense, so it shut us down to prevent that.
That's their conspiracy theory. All of it. One problem
And that's why it kicked, you, ALSO AN AMAZON CLIENT, off their servers?
Wow.
Can they do that?
Amazon's AWS Terms of service, which expressly bind any customer to the Amazon Acceptable Use Policy
They agreed that if they violated that contract, Amazon could terminate them without notice.
They violated the contract.
Also, the fact that the contract says "your only possible damages are what you paid us" means they are very very easy to calculate
This seems to be "you made me breach my contract with Dave"
Also, and I guess this is a minor note, but when you're alleging tortious interference you need to show that there was an existing contract that was breached
It's (again) what you SPECIFICALLY agreed would happen if you did the things you actually did.
More from Akiva Cohen
The judge in this case has now issued an absolutely brutal smackdown that you'll enjoy reading. It comes complete with a well-earned threat of sanctions.
Here's the decision. Some highlights follow
Pretty sure I said this, using slightly different words!
Hey, @questauthority, it sounds like Judge Boasberg was about as pleased about the long "none of this matters but we want to say it anyway" section as we expected him to be
You CANNOT run into court claiming there's an emergency and you need an expedited schedule so you can be heard before 1/6 and then just not bother serving anyone for 12 days
Folks, this is the single dumbest election lawsuit of the entire cycle, and I've read kraken filings front to back. https://t.co/PLHTf7HhbM
— Akiva Cohen (@AkivaMCohen) December 22, 2020
Here's the decision. Some highlights follow
Pretty sure I said this, using slightly different words!
Hey, @questauthority, it sounds like Judge Boasberg was about as pleased about the long "none of this matters but we want to say it anyway" section as we expected him to be
You CANNOT run into court claiming there's an emergency and you need an expedited schedule so you can be heard before 1/6 and then just not bother serving anyone for 12 days
More from Business
1/An interesting thing happened tonight. I was scrolling through clubhouse and found WileyCEO, Godfather of Grime (kicked off Twitter in July for antisemitic tweets) speaking. So I tweeted this (and included a screen shot, later deleted as I found out TOS don't allow it ...
2/ ... and several folks also asked me to remove it which I promptly did afterwards).... Coming into the CH room, I fully intended to confront him about how hurtful his comments in July were. But as I listened to the folks in the room, I decided to go a different direction ....
3/ the conversation jumped around, covered many topics and there were between 8-14 people up on stage. But a recurring thread was discussion of racism, bigotry, comparison of it in the US vs UK vs elsewhere.
4/ when I got a chance to speak, I had 5 bullets written down: a) we should harness technology and capitalism to make reparations for what America did to Black people. I gave https://t.co/SlrW8zCd58 (a project a couple friends co-started) as an example) ...
5/ b) capitalism and product know-how and technology can be harnessed for social justice c) historically oppressed minorities need to stick together and lastly, d) "Wiley, how could you say such hurtful things about Jews as a people?" That's what I had ready to say, anyway.
2/ ... and several folks also asked me to remove it which I promptly did afterwards).... Coming into the CH room, I fully intended to confront him about how hurtful his comments in July were. But as I listened to the folks in the room, I decided to go a different direction ....
3/ the conversation jumped around, covered many topics and there were between 8-14 people up on stage. But a recurring thread was discussion of racism, bigotry, comparison of it in the US vs UK vs elsewhere.
4/ when I got a chance to speak, I had 5 bullets written down: a) we should harness technology and capitalism to make reparations for what America did to Black people. I gave https://t.co/SlrW8zCd58 (a project a couple friends co-started) as an example) ...
5/ b) capitalism and product know-how and technology can be harnessed for social justice c) historically oppressed minorities need to stick together and lastly, d) "Wiley, how could you say such hurtful things about Jews as a people?" That's what I had ready to say, anyway.