At the cafe where I'm writing the people next to me were disagreeing about the origins of Men in Black & I said "If you'd like, I could clear that up for you" & one responded: "I'm sorry, we do not need an old white male's mansplanation." So I apologized and that was that.

(And by the way - it's not like that was the first thing that was said; we'd actually exchanged small talk about various things over the course of their meal and my work.)
Okay, on the way out of the bathroom as they were leaving her friend apologized & said I just got them on a bad day for that, & I said no worries, no need to apologize & she said "Well regardless she shouldn't've used the word 'old' like that" & I literally laughed out loud
Not that it matters, when I said I'd never heard the world manspanation, which I thought was a good word, she said she was pretty sure her friend had said "explanation" and so it's possible I heard it incorrectly. (Does this matter? No. Should I get back to work? Yes.)
SHE WROTE TO ME! She saw this thread on Reddit and realized it was her and she reached out! Oh my god it was so sweet. And she really made me laugh at the end cause she said basically “PS which one of us was right, me or my friend?” (About their disagreement) (it was her)

More from Writing

I can second this observation through personal experience. I was only able to start writing because "it's just dumb weeb fanfiction quests, who cares." 100,000 pages of dumb weeb fanfic later, and I actually got better... but only because I was trying my best with every page.


"It's dumb weeb fanfiction" gave me permission to be bad, to vomit things onto the page that I knew fell far short of what I wanted it to be. To just write and write instead of laboring over six paragraphs for weeks like I'd always done before.

But I still *wanted* to be good.

Writing is HARD. And unfortunately, most people don't appreciate just how hard writing (or communication in general) is, and that cultural attitude infects writers, too.

You must give yourself permission to be bad. And realize that all writing is practice.

IT. COUNTS.

And as the folks in my mentions are pointing


... it's an excellent way to find out what actually resonates with other people - putting work out there. Even your early bad stuff you'll cringe at later.

What resonates is NOT easy to tell, because we all, inherently cringe at ourselves, a lot.

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