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Saved by @SteveeRogerr

gonna get in line for the vaccine because I've heard all these urban legends about tracking microchips

and I think I might be able to root it and install Doom

 supposedly bill gates is involved, right?
so it's probably like a miniaturized 386 running ROM-DOS.
the doctor walks in, looks down at my charts, and sighs.
"well, the bad news is that you've got the virus. I'm sorry..."
"and the good news?"
"well..."
*at doom's gate starts faintly playing from my lungs*
https://t.co/6QFwNCdTpD
it took them four tries to figure out that I had the virus, because every time they did a nasal sample, the diagnosis machine kept glitching and playing a youtube video

https://t.co/R8Z6lDUKMy
I laugh in the hospital bed while they're like "ma'am sir ma'am sir, please, this is serious: we can't treat you. Our ventilator keeps trying to reboot in to Windows 3.1 and play skifree. we're quarantining you here so you don't spread this DIGITAL VIRUS to other patients"
https://t.co/fAzkHdgSk8
my last message is an annoyed rant on discord where I complain I can't access the full power of the tracking chip and get it to 3d accelerate my software enough to play crysis
all I can do is unlock the mode that turns everyone into femboy catgirl maids. USELESS, I SAY!
the police access my PC and discord has 900 friend requests, all from people named like awoo_lizard with anime-animal avatars
it's like fermat's last theorem: but for furries.

furry's last theorem ?
in case this seems exceptionally random, even for me: there was a conspiracy meme about masks which was "they want you to keep doing this [picture of mask wearer] because eventually they're going to make you do this [picture of a woman in a burka]"
which naturally got meme'd on really hard and fast with a lot of silly second images, like ravers in gas masks, furries in fursuits, and people wearing maid outfits
and it's long since past the point where you are gonna see more versions of the parody than the real one (especially if you don't hang out on weird-conspiracy-facebook) so yeah. that's what I was referencing.
I just realized it wasn't very clear what the heck I was talking about, and I can't even locate that specific joke image right now to clarify, so it may be WAY more obscure than I thought
here's the gas mask version, at least:
https://t.co/o8WEx2hPpK
also every time I try to type "gas mask" my fingers type "gask mask"
I suspect the one I'm referencing is actually this meme (the parodies of anti-mask memes) crossbreeding with an unrelated meme, which is basically just "I don't care what gender you are: put on the maid outfit".
the first line is often removed. and it's just become "PUT ON THE MAID OUTFIT" with threats of violence.
anyway it's weird that two of the conspiracy theories about the virus are "the government is making us wear masks! (for reasons other than public safety)" and "the government and/or bill gates is gonna track us with the vaccine!"
because you know how we actually DO track people, quite a lot, right now? and this is a known, proven thing, not a conspiracy?

FACIAL RECOGNITION
you know what causes a huge problem for facial recognition systems?

MASKS
but I guess conspiracies don't really have to make sense, especially when combined with other conspiracies.

Try to build a grand unified set up moon landing and/or JFK conspiracies sometime, for example.
my favorite versions of both are, by the way, the SCP "we landed on the moon, successfully, and then ended up faking it later" and the Red Dwarf "JFK was killed by the gunman on the grassy knoll... who was also JFK" answers.
although I'm looking forward to the theory that unifies the two and explains that JFK was either killed by the moon, or he's not dead: he's on the moon.
ANYWAY before you mock the "tracking microchips in the vaccines!" people too hard, that's basically how the CIA figured out where Osama Bin Laden was.
https://t.co/jruIWAQQ0P
it's sometimes disturbing how often "crazy conspiracy theories" are basically just "what if the US had slightly better technology and/or was slightly more competent"
my favorite amusing one of those is the urban legend that the spy satellites can read your license plate from space.
and the reply isn't "we're not observing the US" or "the government doesn't want to track cars" or even "that's impossible", it's always "don't be silly: you'd need telescopes with at least twice the resolving power (of declassified systems) to be able to read license plates"
it's a wild conspiracy theory and the counter argument is basically "not yet, they'd need bigger telescopes and algorithms and optics, but all are within reach within the next decade or so"
anyway, bill gates? if you have computers small enough to fit in the bloodstream, hit me up. I want some of those. you can even skip out on the vaccine part, I just want to be full of computers.

my DMs are open
BTW, one thing I've been thinking about with the masks, especially with the whole right-wing-memes about how it's all a conspiracy to later force us to wear SOMETHING ELSE:
Robert Heinlein's The Puppet Masters.
It's a 1951 novel about mind-controlling parasite aliens who invade and start taking over, but they don't go inside people, they're just like a small animal that has to extend a tentacle to your brain and drive your body like a marionette
and they're relatively flat creatures like a manta-ray so they can hide under clothes, so the government decides the only way to stop them is to BAN WEARING CLOTHES IN PUBLIC
so the whole nation switches over to mandatory public nudity for a while, except for some extra-conservative areas in the south, which are revealed to be mainly caused by alien infiltration anyway.
and it's just amusing at the idea that you could force that radical of a shift in what people wear in public, and only have minor outcry.

meanwhile, in the real world, it's just "wear a mask" and BOY HAS THERE BEEN SOME PUSHBACK AGAINST THAT
but I guess maybe you could justify it in the case of The Puppet Masters, since the novel is set in the far future, maybe a lot of social mores have changed by then?

the far off future of 2007
flying cars and everything. one of the protagonists is an FBI agent who grew up on the Venus colony.

we were SO SURE the future was gonna be amazing.
BTW, the novel is often compared to Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
It came out 5 years before the movie, and 3 years before the book, and takes a very different tone.
It's very much less "what if secret infiltration of modern day society with EVIL MIND CONTROLLING PARASITES?" and "what if in the future some aliens show up and start mind controlling people, and it goes public and we have to wage a complex global war against them?"
it's a decent book. I recommend it.
It got made into a movie, too, which I don't recommend.
the movie basically removed all the weirder elements and future setting and open warfare, which basically turned it into a bad adaptation of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
which seems kinda pointless since we already had two adaptations of Invasion of the Body Snatchers already, the 1956 version and the 1978 version.
The movie was in 1994, which puts it between the 1978 adaptation and the 2007 adaptation, "The Invasion".
and @DoomishFox found an example of the meme I was talking about, more or less. I could swear there was a maid version too.
https://t.co/TGsdUhG0dh
ok @minirop found two examples of the maid versions, so I definitely didn't make this up:
https://t.co/tuLTPayc7u

More from foone

foone
foone
@Foone
It is 2018 and this error message is a mistake from 1974.
This limitation, which is still found in the very latest Windows 10, dates back to BEFORE STAR WARS. This bug is as old as Watergate.


When this was developed, nothing had UPC codes yet because they'd just been invented.
Back when this mistake was made, There was only one Phone Company, because they hadn't been broken up yet. Ted Bundy was still on the loose. Babe Ruth's home run record was about to fall.

When this bug was developed, Wheel of Fortune hadn't yet aired. No one had seen Rocky Horror. Steven Spielberg was still a little-known directory of TV films and one box-office disappointment. SNL hadn't aired yet. The Edmund Fitzgerald was still hauling iron ore.

WHEN THIS STUPID MISFEATURE WAS INVENTED, THE GODFATHER PART II HAD JUST OPENED IN THEATERS.

So, why does this happen? So Unix (which was only 5 years old at this point) had the good idea of "everything is a file" which mean you could do things like write to sockets, pipes, the console, etc with the same commands and instructions.
TECH
foone
foone
@Foone
I like how mediawiki exports pages because there's nothing I enjoy more than parsing a 1 gigabyte XML file

and I'm doing simple-english-wiki! it's way smaller than english wikipedia
I can only imagine how impossibly unparsable that nightmare is

fun fact: when programmers need to write code to extract data from an XML file, the process usually goes like this:
1. find XML file
2. open it in a text editor, see what the structure is
3. write some code that parses that

do you really want to open a 1 gigabyte XML file in your text editor?

do you want to fucking die?

I used to run into this problem back when I worked for the government, because sometimes I'd click a database query log (don't ask why our logs were in XML, it's... complicated) and it would turn out to be 100mb
TECH
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foone
foone
@Foone
love to see a youtube video that references a script that's linked in the comments and it's an obfuscated link to a one-click hoster.

THAT'S DEFINITELY STILL GONNA WORK IN FOUR YEARS

it does still work, but that's because it's only been 2 years.

also, wow, this is horrible.

the script is to generate random kanji/han characters and insert them into minecraft books.
but the video references there being two hotkeys to generate two distinct books, which seemed odd. so I thought I'd check.

it turns out by "random" they mean "pre-randomized and is hardcoded into the 45 kilobyte autohotkey scripot"


I mean, I get it. I don't want to write AutoHotKey scripts either. it's a horrible, horrible language.

BUT STILL
CULTURE
foone
foone
@Foone
A fun fact on the wikipedia page for the metal–oxide–semiconductor field-effect transistor:
it is the most frequently manufactured device in history, and the total number manufactured from 1960-2018 is 13 sextillion.

That's 13,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.


Though this picture is a bit misleading.

Even with devices this small, we couldn't make 13 sextillion of them in 60 years.

So imagine a chip like this. It's the 555 timer, which is one of the most popular integrated circuits ever made.

In 2017, it was estimated a billion are made every year.


And at the heart of it is the die, which looks like this:
(from Ken Shirriff's blog)
https://t.co/mz5PQDjYqF


And that's fundamentally a bunch of CMOS transistors (along with some diodes and resistors), which are a type of MOSFET. How many of them are on a 555?

about 25. Not many, but it's a very simple chip.
TECH
foone
foone
@Foone
time to get back to "repairing" old computers


The funny thing about making the 8-bit-guy into a meme about "repairing" computers with powertools is that the obvious heightening joke would, like, the "8 rounds guy", who fixes computers with firearms

but that would also be him, given that he's also a big gun enthusiast.

so it's inherently hard to satirize the repairing-computers-with-dremels guy, since they're also the guns-guy.

you'd have to go up to like a mythbusters level of overkill.

"this hard drive from 1986 won't spin up. We tried freezing it, tapping it with a rubber hammer, and opening the case to lower the friction... there's only one option left: GET OUT THE C4 EXPLOSIVES!"
INTERNET

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Twitter Data
@TwitterData
r u abbreving less rn?

Since the switch to 280 characters a year ago, we've seen an increase in people writing out full words and phrases.


All about the please and thank you.

With 280 characters, people are saying 'please' (+54%) and ‘thank you’ (+22%) more.

THANKS!!!!

💬💬💬

280 characters later, there are more ? and replies to Tweets. More room, more conversations!
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AFP news agency
AFP news agency
@AFP
Hong Kong protester equipment list:
- respirator (dubbed "pig snouts" in Cantonese)
- helmet
- eye mask
- heat-proof gloves
- water bottle
- cling wrap
- saline
- traffic cones
- pots and pans

Demonstrators find creative methods to battle police tear gas
https://t.co/kPeUTu9iFh


AFP graphic charting Hong Kong's main socio-economic indicators and opinion polls on press freedom and government performance

@AFPgraphics


AFP graphic showing the main equipment used by hardcore pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong to battle police tear gas, pepper spray and rubber bullets

@AFPgraphics


Frontline first aid.

Nurses, doctors, medical students and ordinary citizens with first aid training have clamoured to join a small volunteer corps helping treat people involved in the Hong Kong protests

@AFP's Yan Zhao reports: https://t.co/uDfYkMeZJf

📸 Anthony Wallace


Pro-democracy activists kick off three days of rallies at Hong Kong airport.

Protesters hope to win international support from arriving passengers. The last demonstration at the airport on July 26 passed off peacefully without causing flight disruptions
https://t.co/jmVqtEd4M2
SOCIETY
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Robert #Resist Sandy
Robert #Resist Sandy
@frodofied
Real talk.

The right as spent years trying to paint @NancyPelosi & @HillaryClinton as extreme leftists who will take your guns, sterilize your sons, outlaw Christianity, and tax you at 80%.

Meanwhile...

The far left has tried to insist that they were both Republican-lite.

1/

Some on the far left call them war mongering neoliberal corporate owned whores.

That's on a good day, for both.

None of these charges, by either side, are remotely true of course. Not that this matters to the people putting this shit out there.

2/

The facts are these.

@HillaryClinton and @NancyPelosi have been fighting people, usually white men, for tnings their entire lives.

With little respite.

At times they have had to make impossible choices and compromises just to beo let in the door. Most women have.

3/

It must be easy to be some 26 yo white dude who has never had anyone tell him no his whole life to sit in judgement of women like them.

"How dare she..."

...do what was necessary to get a place at the table.

...do exactly what men have been doing w/o your disapproval.

4/

Let's face it, most men suck when it comes to issues that don't pertain directly to their own self interests. White men are even worse. We just are.

Most men especially suck when it comes to women's issues and I mean really suck.

How many left leaning men fell to #MeToo?

5/
SOCIETY
Polyamorous Tantric Sex Guru
Polyamorous Tantric Se...
@BethLynch2020
"this is not a third world country.."


"this is not a third world country.."


"this is not a third world country..."


"this is not a third world country.."


"this is not a third world country.."
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John Leksander
John Leksander
@JohnLeksander
Pretty much a love letter to the farmers in Wisconsin directly from my website:

I'm not a politition so I'm not going to mince words. I am not a democrat or a republican I consider myself a Christian Viking & the party name I will use is the party of "We The People". I am

absolutely disgusted with politicians that have the "Israel first" mentality instead of America first. I will not do anything for special interests, nor will I accept money from AIPAC or big Pharma.  I will work for YOU the Legal American Citizen. We need to get rid of & hold

accountable these bought off satanic perverts in office and stop the madness. Wisconsin should be a leader in agriculture thus I'll make efforts to kick Bayer/Monsanto out of our state with their glyphosate & round up ready seeds and find ways to hold them accountable for the

destruction & damage they've already caused. I want all of our small business up & running and the churches open. I'm absolutely against mask mandates nor do I want people vaccinated with this abhorrent DNA altering experiment. I think marijuana should be legal & hemp used to

detoxify our farmland. I want the fluoride removed from our water & the spraying of heavy metals in our skies stopped. I want criminal justice reform and to stop the incentives for populating private prisons. I'm pro constitution as it was written. Wisconsin should be a leader in
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1/People I know on the Right tend to be obsessed with the idea of "crimethink", taboos, and the (supposedly) oppressive, omnipresent enforcement of liberal cultural norms.

Why?

My new theory: A lot of it is guilt.

2/It's true that in some circles - the media, universities, many big corporations - liberal norms *are* enforced to some degree, and the enforcement has probably gotten stronger in recent years.

But I don't think this explains all of the Right's obsession.

3/The stereotype is that people on the Right tend to be more threat-sensitive. That would help explain the perception that liberal norm-enforcers are lurking everywhere, ready to pounce and anathematize anyone who makes a misstep.

But I don't think that's all of it either.

4/And of course, it's always fun - whether you're on the Right or the Left, or playing a video game, or whatever - to style yourself as the brave iconoclastic rebel fighting against the oppressive forces of blah blah blah.

But I don't think this is all of it, either.

5/The reason I think it's more than these things is that even *in private*, people on the Right express their "crimethink" ideas very gingerly and hesitantly.

I get the sense that they're not just afraid of external censure, but have also internalized liberal norms.
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Formula 1
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After 17 years and more than 300 races, it could be @alo_oficial's last F1 race on Sunday 😭 He's given us a lot over the years... including some superb GIFs!

Here we have a rare example of a GIF you can actually hear. TOMA. 💪


The Spanish Samurai


Never give up. 💪 #GraciasFernando


Winning is everything. #GraciasFernando
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foone
foone
@Foone
So there's a class of puzzles called "river crossing puzzles" which involve having to cross a river on a boat/bridge containing some set of individuals/items with restrictions on which ones can be on the boat/left on each shore, right?

and the most common subclass of these problems is the one where you have 3 items/animals to cross with.
This is alternatively called the "fox, goose, and bag of beans" or "wolf, goat, and cabbage" puzzle.

the idea is that your boat can only carry one item at a time, but if you leave the wolf/fox unattended with the goat/goose, the wolf/fox will eat the goat/goose.
and similarly, the goose/goat will eat the beans/cabbage if left alone

so you have to set up a set of actions that never leaves either side of the river in one of the lose-states.

the solution to this variant being:
1. take the goat/goose over
2. return empty
3. take the wolf/fox over
4. return with the goat/goose
5. take the cabbage/beans over
6. return empty
7. take the goat/goose over
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Anu Satheesh \U0001f1ee\U0001f1f3
Anu Satheesh 🇮🇳...
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Nanganallur Anjaneya Temple
#Chennai
#Tamilnadutemples 🚩

Bhaktha Anjaneya temple at Nanganallur in Chennai is one among tallest Anjaneyar Vigraham. Here Anjaneyar blesses with relief to all illness. Vigraham is about 32 feet height made of single  stone.
Anjaneyar here is 👇


Sri Vishwaroopa Aadhivyathihara Baktha Anjaneya Swamy.

Sthala Puranam says that, this is the place where Indra Deva hit Hanuman on the cheek by his Vajrastram. Sri Raghavendra Swami and Sri Kanchi Paramacharyar were behind in building this temple. Temple is constructed to


Realize power of Anjaneyar who is seen both in Ramayana and Mahabharatha.
Vadamalai is important offering to Anjaneyar here. It is believed that vigraham contain powers to heal any disease. Shri Ramanavami is celebrated here.

Jai Sri Ram
Jai Hanuman
🙏🕉🙏
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Respectable Lawyer
Respectable Lawyer
@RespectableLaw
There's been a lot of talk about the missionary killed by the natives of North Sentinel Island. They're probably so aggressive because of this weirdo, Maurice Vidal Portman. So here's a big thread about this creep and some facts from my decade-long obsession with the island.


The Sentinelese are often described as “uncontacted,” but this not strictly true. They had a very significant contact in 1880 with Commander Portman.

Portman, the black sheep third son of some minor noble, was assigned by the English Royal Navy to administer and pacify the Andaman Islands, a job he pursued from 1880-1900 with the full measure of his own perversity.


Portman was erotically obsessed with the Andamanese, and he indulged his passion for photography by kidnapping members of various tribes and posing them in mock-Greek homoerotic compositions.


During his 20 years in a sexualized heart of darkness, Portman measured and cataloged every inch of his prisoner’s bodies, with an obsessive focus on genitals.
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