Three years ago today, I was icing my knuckles because I’d beaten the fuck out of a man who had groped me in a club a couple of nights before. I wrote about it in my new essay https://t.co/SqzluTtJKb 📷 @rerutled #IBeatMyAssaulter
“First of all, he’s not my husband. Also, this is my body, I take care of it.” https://t.co/SqzluTtJKb
As long as we obey and behave in ways it approves of, of course. Protection is conditional.Because if we disobey, ha! I don't want to be protected. I want to be free
Five days earlier, I had started #MosqueMeToo to talk about being sexually assaulted during pilgrimage and women from around the world shared stories 🎥 @rerutled
Under #MosqueMeToo men asked me, “Why didn’t you make more of a fuss?” Under #IBeatMyAssaulter men said, “You made too much of a fuss. You were too violent. Don’t you think you overreacted?”
If at most sacred of temples-holiest site of my religion-I am not safe from predatory hands, where am I safe? If at most secular of temples-a club-predatory men also insist on assaulting us, where are we safe?
I also know that we are not socialized to fight back. We are not taught to fight back. https://t.co/SqzluTtJKb
How long must we wait until men stop beating and murdering us, even under #COVID19 lockdown? Where is the vaccine against that violence?
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"The vast majority of women in prison have been victims of violence prior to their incarceration incl domestic violence, rape, sexual assault" https://t.co/TIIgNzaC8F
More from Mona Eltahawy
"A man has been found not guilty of murdering his wife, just days into the first national Covid lockdown. Anthony Williams, 70, said he "just flipped" and strangled his wife Ruth at their home."
How long must we wait until men stop beating and murdering us, even under #COVID19? And being found “not guilty?”
I made this in April
“The legal system is designed to protect men from the superior power of the state but not to protect women or children from the superior power of men,” U.S. feminist psychiatrist Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery, The Aftermath of Violence-From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
"The national US av prison sentence of men who kill their female partners is 2-6 yrs, while women who kill their partners are sentenced on av to 15yrs, despite the fact that most women who kill their partners do so to protect themselves from violence initiated by their partners"
Prisons around the world are full of women who fight back and the streets are full of the men who assaulted them.
And there are dead women. Many many dead
I’ve lost count of the # times I’ve been sexually assaulted and I know that my reactions have spanned a spectrum, all of them valid. That night it was: Are you fucking kidding me? And my body went into autodrive; it knew exactly what to do.
Tell me your #IBeatMyAssaulter stories
And sign up to FEMINIST GIANT.
It's free, no paywall, no ads.
If you can pay, it helps to keep it
I know that we can’t always fight back. My priority is to survive. I never want what I have shared here to make anyone feel guilty for not beating up her assaulter.
I also know that we are not socialized to fight back. We are not taught to fight back. #IBeatMyAssaulter
Men are not socialized to expect us to fight back. I think of that when I hear of the spike in intimate partner terrorism during the pandemic. I wonder why those men never fear that those women could poison their food or simply kill them in their sleep for being abusive fucks.
More from Life
Too many patterns leads to a boring, predictable, logical lifestyle.
Get the emotions involved.
Do something spontaneous out of the blue moon & flip the script.
'What's wrong with the patterns?'
Nothing is wrong with patterns.
However, there is a problem when all you have are patterns.
'Can you explain why?'
The thing with relationships is that it's meant to be an emotional experience.
It's very difficult to logically explain love, right?
Well this is where you want to steer the ship the right way.
1. Too emotional is bad.
2. Too logical is bad.
Let me break it down.
1. Too emotional
If a relationship is completely ruled by emotions, then it's too volatile.
You will never reach productivity if you are aimlessly only following each others emotions.
This lifestyle tarnishes any structure for the couple.
'So why do people do it?'
Because it's fun.
You may ruled by this stage in the honeymoon phase.
You'll be so spontaneous that it almost becomes a lifestyle.
But it's hard to level up your life when you're too spontaneous.
- Forget what you don't have, make your strength bold
- Pick one work experience and explain what you did in detail w/ bullet points
- Write it towards the role you apply
- Give social proof
"But I got no work experience..."
Make a open source lib, make a small side project for yourself, do freelance work, ask friends to work with them, no friends? Find friends on Github, and Twitter.
- Show you care about the company: I used the company's brand font and gradient for in the resume for my name and "Thank You" note.
- Don't list 15 things and libraries you worked with, pick the most related ones to the role you're applying.
-🙅♂️"copy cover letter"
"I got no firends, no work"
One practical way is to reach out to conferences and offer to make their website for free. But make sure to do it good. You'll get:
- a project for portfolio
- new friends
- work experience
- learnt new stuff
- new thing for Twitter bio
If you don't even have the skills yet, why not try your chance for @LambdaSchool? No? @freeCodeCamp. Still not? Pick something from here and learn https://t.co/7NPS1zbLTi
You'll feel very overwhelmed, no escape, just acknowledge it and keep pushing.
If you are compromising too much, there is a chance that you are getting manipulated.
Why are you the one that's always compromising?
How come the other person always gets their way?
Be more curious.
If something seems off, stick up for yourself.
'Wait, you sure I am being manipulated?'
I have no clue, that is only something that you can decide for yourself.
'Dang is there anything I need to look out for?'
But let me give you a few things to look out for.
I see manipulation as skillfully controlling someone's behavior for egotistical or unethical purposes.
'How come people don't leave when it's happening to them?'
Because most people have 0 clue that they are being manipulated.
1. Guilt Trip
You ever made a mistake around someone, only for them to hold it over your head?
The will always bring up the mistake when you 2 are not seeing eye to eye.
These people will use that mistake as leverage to get what they want from you in the future.
2. The Rationalizer
This person will commit the worst acts & find a way to rationalize it.
Example: cheaters when they get caught.
They have every excuse in the book for why they did it.
Heck, they are so good at rationalizing, they will make it seem like your fault.
=A THREAD BY WD=
1. The Manipulator
It’s one of the most seen toxic traits.
They pull time and energy out of your life.
Manipulators always want something from you,
They’ll do anything to win you over.
2. The Liar
If a person lies to you for the first time; forgive them. If a person lies to you for the second time, avoid them.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
3. The Gossiper
“Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”
They also have an uncanny ability to put your success in danger.
Stay away from the gossip. They’re unkind, unproductive, and will hurt your chances for success.
4. The Envious
Envious people are jealous of your achievements, happiness, success, and the love you receive.
Keep an eye on such types of toxic people to avoid disturbance in your life.
You remember your heroes: Eisenhower and Reagan, the Bush's? Right? You knew that they would "take care of us" while all the crazy tree huggers and hippies wanted to buy the world a Coke and and give all your money to poor people and immigrants!
...and how was THAT gonna teach them to pull themselves up by the boot straps and make something of themselves like YOU DID??
After all, this is the land of opportunity, RIGHT? Everyone has the same chance to be successful and PROSPEROUS, right???
You did it all with NO HELP--ALL BY YOURSELF, DIDN'T YOU. I mean, the G.I. Bill didn't do all that MUCH!
Rich people were taxed at 70%, and that was OK with you because you weren't one. *YET*
Just because the cost of living was MINISCULE compared to now, and you got a spiffy new job with a company car and paid health insurance, and a freaking house you BOUGHT ALL BY YOURSELF for 25 thousand freaking dollars,
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India had a well developed education system centuries before the westerners arrived and called us uncivilized. Education was always given a great importance in Indian civilisation since times immemorial.
Ancient India had the Gurukulas and Ashramas as the epicentres of the knowledge and enlightenment. Bigger Gurukulas served as the centres of higher education called universities. Besides these universities, temples also emerged as the major learning centres.
Studying the Holy Scriptures, character building, personality development, responsibilities towards self,family and society,discipline and preservation of the ancient culture and heritage were the key embodiments of education.
This kind of education system made ancient India, a centre of knowledge all over the world. Many foreign students came to India for education and India was called the 'Vishwaguru'.
Takshshila and Nalanda were the two prominent universities of ancient India.
But were these only Universities of ancient India?The answer is 'No'.Let's learn about these gems of our education system that flourished across ancient India & be proud.
This was the oldest university of ancient India.Situated in Nalanda distt. of Bihar...
Funny there are those who think these migrant caravans were a FANTASTIC idea that's going to take the immigration issue away from you.— Brian Cates (@drawandstrike) November 26, 2018
Like several weeks watching a rampaging horde storm the fences & throw rocks at our border patrol agents & getting gassed = great optics!
This media manipulation effort was inspired by the success of the "kids in cages" freakout, a 100% Stalinist propaganda drive that required people to forget about Obama putting migrant children in cells. It worked, so now they want pics of Trump "gassing children on the border."
There's a heavy air of Pallywood around the whole thing as well. If the Palestinians can stage huge theatrical performances of victimhood with the willing cooperation of Western media, why shouldn't the migrant caravan organizers expect the same?
It's business as usual for Anarchy, Inc. - the worldwide shredding of national sovereignty to increase the power of transnational organizations and left-wing ideology. Many in the media are true believers. Others just cannot resist the narrative of "change" and "social justice."
The product sold by Anarchy, Inc. is victimhood. It always boils down to the same formula: once the existing order can be painted as oppressors and children as their victims, chaos wins and order loses. Look at the lefties shrieking in unison about "Trump gassing children" today.
Write a tweet, tell your friends, and move on.
Once you own it, you fix it.
99% of people on Twitter/social media/internet won't do this.
Being radically transparent and honest is a competitive (and life) advantage.
From @RayDalio's Principles:
My new product has 14 users and <$400 monthly revenue. I've spent the last 4 months on it.
I'm going through a lot of pain to validate and grow it.
But if anyone asks me how it's going I will tell them exactly that.
If I asked them, I would hope they would give me the raw truth as well. Truth builds trust.
I think that goes for your internet audience as well. Authenticity is attractive.
I see this with @starter_story all the time - people don't want to share their revenue yet because they don't have any, or it's not high enough (not all cases but often).
I wish I could tell them that getting the cat out of the bag would actually fix the problem itself!!
FB POST BY MR PRABEER BASU,
" Received a hurtful post from an old friend and colleague. He was on my daily Broadcast list of WhatsApp. He requested that I do not send him any of my posts on 'political' issues. I gave him a long explaination
on why I write and what I write. But he was not convinced.
Being alerted by him thus, I felt I should clarify to all who read my posts on what exactly I think and do.
The charge against me is that I wrongly support our current Prime Minister, Shri Narendra Modi..
and that it establishes I am not rational and impartial anymore.
Let me try and explain.First and foremost,I do not write on 'political' issues. I write on 'national' issues. For example, I have no opinion on whether Rahul Gandhi should be President of his party or not.
Similarly, I have no views whether BJP is a better party than Congress or vice versa.
Even after 36 years in the IAS I have no MLA, MP or anyone involved in politics whom I can classify as my friend or even acquaintance.
So, naturally I don't care which party wins or loses as long as the winning party runs an honest government doing good to my nation.
Now, why I speak in favour of Shri Modi:
1. Ever since the beginning of my service I realised that Planning Commission was not serving..