BC LIFE
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TW: suicidal ideation.

At the darkest days of the abuse I was being subjected to I decided to attend a conference for women in Los Angeles. I convinced my mother in law to pay for it because I couldn’t afford it. @ChristineCaine was preaching. I was desperate...
1/

 I wanted to die, I didn’t see a way out and I had tried everything. I imagined many ways to die daily. The most recurring one was throwing my car down a bridge I had to drive over every day. I never did it because my kids were in the car and I was afraid one of them would...

2/
survive or I’d kill someone on the way down.

Christine spoke about honoring your pastors even when they weren’t great, she spoke of us expecting too much of pastors and how wrong that was. She said God would use our testimony if we submitted to our pastors.

3/
She said “honor your pastors, God will honor you.” She said more about having disagreed with her pastors but she submitted and God honored her and now she’s blessed. How if they are faithfully serving God, we need to support them and not forfeit what God has for us.

4/
I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I got up and went to the bathroom because I couldn’t breath and I felt like I was going to faint if I didn’t scream. I now know I was having a panic attack. I sat on the toilet w/my head between my legs, breathed and wept..
5/
as the room spun around me. She talked about how this was for someone who was thinking about leaving their church. I wanted to leave desperately, but I didn’t feel like I could because my pastor hadn’t given me his blessing. Why would he? Her words kept me at that church.
6/
It wasn’t until later when a pastor of another church we worked closely with saw us, and said “you can leave, you don’t have to stay, this isn’t healthy for you, if it is permission you need, then take mine, I give you permission” that I felt just enough safety to leave.

7/
Christine wasn’t the first person who had said that, neither would she be the last. I attempted to speak with other leaders before and after that conference, and was dismissed with the same narrative. Submit, honor, he knows what’s best, this is gossip...
8/
Even after leaving I protected this church and pastor, I share only small pieces of my story here and there, and every time I I get text messages, emails, phone calls. I am evil because I dare tell my story and “malign” my old leaders, even though I’ve never shared their name
9/
When I say abuse is systemic in the church, I mean it. Leaders are complicit, and nothing will be better for victims until you make an effort to actually listen to those of us who had no power and were abused. Nothing will be better until you consider how your theology is
10/
Predatory and protects abusers while at the same time silencing victims. Nothing will be better until you choose to take a hard look at yourself. Nothing will be better until you give people full agency over themselves and their choices.

More from Jo Luehmann

Jo Luehmann
Jo Luehmann
@JoLuehmann
“Don’t leave the church because of the people who hurt you. Nobody is perfect, only God”

I’ll explain why this comment is not only not helpful at all, but also very harmful.

1/

The comment assumes we can’t tell the difference between people and toxic theology, it assumes our issues are with a few people who are outliers and misrepresented God, and we just seem to think that’s the totality of divinity. Which makes us appear unintelligent and petty.

2/

But, that’s not the case at all. I didn’t leave because a few people hurt me in the name of God, in fact I stayed long enough to get hurt again, and again, and again, and again. Because it’s not a few bad apples hurting people in the name of God what we are dealing with.

3/

Instead we are talking about systemic abuse due to toxic theology that is taught as righteousness.

Go to any white evangelical church today and conduct all the tests you must to ensure only those who are “good Christians,” remain. I guarantee you people will be harmed there.
4/

Not because people just hurt people, not because Christians have good intentions but sometimes make mistakes; instead because the harm is caused due to indoctrination into toxic theology and a belief that their social and theological framework is not only good,

5/
RELIGION
Jo Luehmann
Jo Luehmann
@JoLuehmann
I am going to say something very uncomfortable. Read before you react please.

Purity culture encourages pedophilia, a thread:

Purity culture encourages pedophilia.

Some of the standards of purity culture are innocence (pretty much ignorance about sex), submission (for women), virginity as the ultimate standard, and “modesty” (for women that is wearing clothes that don’t reveal their adult curves)*
1/

Purity culture makes the desirable standard a child. It makes child likeness desirable in regards to sexuality. It makes virginity, and innocence, and submission; what the male brain should want most in a partner. And your brain doesn’t rewire just because you get married.
2/

This doesn’t mean every man raised in purity culture is a pedophile, that’s not what I am saying. What I am saying is that purity culture wires the brain of men to desire child likeness, which encourages pedophilia. After all desire and objectification happen in our brain.

3/

Now if you are a pedophile who wants to act on those desires, purity culture does a lot of the grooming for you. Purity culture discourages comprehensive sex education leaving children without the ability to know what’s appropriate and what’s not.

4/
CULTURE
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Jo Luehmann
Jo Luehmann
@JoLuehmann
We live in a society that misunderstands boundaries and consent. Most people think the former is about just saying no, and the latter is about sex. And while that’s a part of it, they are about agency, autonomy, respect and interpersonal relationships.

1/

Unsolicited advice without consent is crossing a person’s boundaries. Even if the advice is good advice, even if the person giving the advice is a pastor or a parent, even if the advice is important. Most people aren’t talking about their life so that we may solve it.

2/

It is an honor to be trusted with someone’s life story*, with their thoughts and their challenges, with their struggles and their musings. But it is not an open invitation to try and solve their problems, control their behavior, tell them what to do.

3/

For a group of people that speak often of free will and claim to follow Jesus, Christians are some of the worst at boundaries and consent in general, and advice giving in particular. Think about how many sermons are not sharing spiritual truths, but just giving advice.

4/

Think about how much pastoral counseling is just advice giving. Think about the many books that tell you how to parent, how to be a good wife, how to be a good Christian, how to... and how much of it is general advice as though our lives were interchangeable?

5/
SOCIETY
Jo Luehmann
Jo Luehmann
@JoLuehmann
When I say that so long as nobody is being harmed people’s decisions, choices, and actions are always acceptable and should be respected; conservative Christians often ask me: but who decides what harm is?

1/

They do this to invalidate ‘harm,’ because if we can obscure the notion of harm, and they can decide that people going to hell is really the harm we should be worried about; then they are justified in crossing every possible boundary to keep people from hell.

2/

They are “helping,” “saving,” not really harming.

That’s one of the main ways in which the concept of sin is weaponized against people; because they decide what sin is, which is what will send us to hell (except not because all we have to do is repent and then we are safe).

3/

It doesn’t matter how we define harm, how much logic we apply to explaining that when people say they are being harmed we should believe them; or how much evidence we have of harm caused. It doesn’t matter that people are literally and metaphorically bleeding. It’s not harm.

4/

I mean they justified the genocide of Native people, the forceful taking of our land, the abduction of children with sayings like “kill the Indian, save the man.” By their logic they haven’t caused harm, they have “saved” us. There is no evidence of this, but they say so 🙃.

5/
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Jo Luehmann
Jo Luehmann
@JoLuehmann
Christianity has been a weapon used by systems of oppression to call that which is harmful and abusive; good and God’s will. It has been a weapon to normalize hegemonic power, and keep people from questioning it or challenging it because “it comes from God.”

1/

Gender “norms,” harmful ideas about sexuality, social hierarchy, the construct of race, notions of nuclear family, toxic ideologies of work, bodies, finances, government, relationships, parenting, or criminal justice; are all rooted in Christianity and...

2/

backed up by verses of the Christian Bible taken out of context, to assert that this isn’t just normal, but what God desires. And who dares challenge God?

Christianity has allowed for people w/power to use the idea of god, and *his* “word,” to pass their ideas as God ideas.
3/

This is one of the reasons why people react so violently when we say the Bible is not the word of God, they can’t accept that everything they’ve been given as normal, good, ideal, God’s will... may just not be so.

4/

Their nervous systems tells them it is better to maintain the certainty of what is in their hands; even though it causes harm; than to give into the uncertainty of imagining a different world where equity is possible.

And then their ego gets involved, and admitting they’ve

5/
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I think I'm giving up on mainstream marketing content.

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Stick with me for a story about how the logic of lockdowns can turn into something really sinister.

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Let’s talk about hope & despair.

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Crank this up for the

1/ One of the more memorable—and frightening—lines from “Nineteen Eighty-Four” reads: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” In Orwell’s dystopia, resistance is futile. Big Brother wins, inevitably.

2/ I refuse to believe this applies to the USA in 2021. I won’t have it. I don’t care how much dirty money mobster spy psy-op disinformation data manipulation corporate MAGA Christofascist QAnon Fox News weapons these fuckers have in their arsenal. WE shall prevail. Not them.

3/ Is this second impeachment infuriating? Yes. Are Trump’s lawyers and his GOP lickspittles gaslighting us yet again? Yes. Does that mean that all hope is lost? Hell no.

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