(1) I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. Having to process it as well. I haven’t suffered like my wife has, my suffering is in seeing what it has done to her. I never bought in, but she did, and I failed to protect her from it b/c I failed to understand it’s impact.

(2) When my wife graduated from high school (we went to school together), she graduated Valedictorian. She then went to Emory University and began pursuing Med School. I supported her all the way. When she became a Christian & I brought her into reformed evangelicalism…
(3) I didn’t realize the pressures all the white women were putting on her to drop out of school and focus on having babies. I didn’t realize they pushed motherhood & homemaking as the only faithful medium for a woman to honor & glorify God & the shame they heaped on.
(4) I constantly encouraged her & pushed her towards her degrees as I have towards her now having her own business; but when she chose to drop out of school; I thought it was simply her choice, I don’t realize it was a result of spiritual abuse & faith based manipulation.
(5) I feel like I wanna be honest here. As much as I speak about these things, and given my public platform, I feel like I need to own my own failures publicly. My suffering is largely in the haunting pain of knowing I failed to protect my wife from cultic/toxic doctrine.
(6) I have a clear conscience regarding my own relating to her. I’ve always been her biggest supporter. But, I trusted the various books our pastors & their wives recommended about womanhood & in that I didn’t stand in the way of toxic indoctrination.
(7) I feel like what I’ve just said can easily be misunderstood & weaponized. My wife & I have had hard convos about this, & based on her input, She has never felt “less than” or not empowered by me. We’ve always have had an awesome marriage. What I’m saying is more complex.
(8) Also, to be clear, we are not Egalitarian either. We both consider Complementarian & Egalitarian categories within American Evangelicalism to be categories of Whiteness. We’ve both fully embraced ourselves & our cultures & relate not based on American Evangelical constructs.

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