Shyness can make you lose great opportunities in life.

Here are tips on how to break free from shyness.

Thread

1. Know the reasons why you’re shy.

It could be a traumatic social experience, environmental influences, genetics etc.
Being aware of the root of your shyness can help you become aware and accept who you truly are.

If you believe it has to do with your upbringing, examine your relationship with your parents now. Are they still domineering or are they shy themselves?

2. Identify the triggers.

By identifying what triggers your shyness, you can plan ahead and create a course of action for when you're placed in those situations. You can practice what you would do if faced with your triggers and work to overcome them.

3. Create what i call shyness bucket list

List out all the things you can't do because of your shyness and start overcoming them one by one. It is not easy but you have to build up confindence (if you perish you perish), you will not perish. talk to random people, join clubs etc

Since "at 22" is trending and I coincidentally changed my profile picture to this on facebook yesterday, here I am at 22 back in 1984 and in my final year at university. 1/14

Earlier in the year I'd dyed my hair pink and yellow as a rag week stunt, and then all pink so as it wasn't quite so crazy. In a way, dying my hair like this may have helped determine the course of my whole subsequent life. 2/14

A few weeks later, with the hair dye still very much showing, I landed a job at a small software company based in a farmhouse near #Peterborough. I turned down an interview for a job with a big company, Ferranti, because I'd become aware of its links to the defence industry. 3/14

My mother thought I was making a big mistake, passing up the chance to work for a famous and long-established blue-chip company, and choosing a company that would probably go under quickly. 4/14

The software company often struggled. Sometimes when we got our pay cheques we were asked not to pay them in just yet, until those who were married and had kids had got their pay cheques cleared, in case some of the cheques bounced. 5/14

I've been studying @naval for years now.

I've read "The Almanack," listened to the full 3.5 hours of "How to Get Rich," absorbed his best podcasts, pondered countless tweets, and more.

Here are 20 highlights you should know (thread 👇):

Sources:

Paradoxes:

"Answers to all the great questions are paradoxes … Pursuing them is actually really useful because then it gives you certain intrinsic understanding in your life that brings a level of peace." — @naval

Meaning:

"I think the closest I can articulate ... is to keep growing and learning in the short period of time that you have. To seek truth and to accept things the way they are. To see the world the way it really is. Then, just to live your life." — @naval

Desire:

If @naval could put on thing on a billboard, it would be:

"Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want."

As a guy, growing up, I had precisely zero experiences where I felt like I really emotionally connected with any of my guy friends (this was high school, so of course they were guys), or anyone at all. All we did was play football & videogames, and watch bad action/comedy films.

Then, about 8 years ago, I went to a female acquaintance's birthday party, which was filled with girls actually *talking* and *having fun* with each other. To this day it remains the single most impactful event of my entire life; it showed me there was such a thing as connection.

(What do I mean when I say connection? I'm talking about feeling safe; feeling understood; feeling accepted; feeling loved; and feeling like the other person *genuinely cares* about you as a conscious being. A heartfelt conversation; a deep interest in each other's experience.)

During the years after the party, given that I'd only had this one experience, I found it difficult to find it again. Given a single datapoint, how do you create another like it? Was it girls? The activities? The talking?

As it is said: I fucked around and slowly found out.

(I was still shy & insecure, so I wasn't able to reliably find connection irl yet. A few films became fond markers showing this magic exists: Before Sunrise, The Tree of Life. They were my first hints that other people shared this, and were shouting off the rooftops to find me.)

REWIRE YOUR BRAIN AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE…A Thread

Feeling stuck? Change starts with changing your consciousness.

This is a long one, but understanding this will change your life in incredible ways.

How can you get anything you want in life?

Your beliefs.

But this isn’t just positive mindset in the traditional sense.

Merely thinking positive thoughts will DO nothing and can even do harm.

Why?

Because your subconscious runs the show.

Your positive affirmations are too superficial and can’t actually change your behavior.

Before I get too woo woo, let me explain a bit more

Key Point 1: You are ALREADY manifesting.

Everything you’ve gotten in your life started with a thought.

That thought turns into a picture.

That picture changes your brain circuitry and habits

But where did those thoughts come from?

You didn’t consciously create them.

They all stem from your SUBCONSCIOUS. But you’re only aware of them once they arise.

95% of your life is run by your subconscious thoughts

The problem is that you didn’t define your subconscious beliefs.

Where did they come from?

this was supposed to be my rapline edit accnt but im really hurt. im native army and last time we tried to talk abt the native ca in in the soop/dynamite premiere, natives got d3@th threats and r/s worded. they got told to quietly email and trust bts. the LGO tipis 💔💔💔...

were heartbreaking after staying up til 7am streaming BE to watch them perform. i shouldnt have to explain to every single person why its offensive, its so tiring when we all have access to information and natives type up huge threads that get 3k likes and 500 rts.

but the native ca is still happening. were indigenous ppl before were stans. the txt ca hurt too as someone who was getting into them. this has been such a hard year for native kpop fans. my native moots are fans of all sorts of groups and it hurts all of us when 1 group does ca.

yall use it for fanwars while native kpop fans are hurting for each other and not being taken seriously. we are such a tiny minority in stan twt bc our people were GENOCIDED. theres not many of us, and lots of natives make fun of native stans shit, they dont help us either.

lots of natives on twt mock us for putting up with all this ca, we dont get support from them. what we need is support from army. REAL support that asks us to lead and empathizes with us rather than drill us for a loophole that absolves bts/bh from having hurt us.

"IS IT POSSIBLE TO LIVE WITHOUT FEAR IN A WORLD FILLED WITH FEAR?"

They were many scary stories about delivery but she decided with her husband to be fearless...

It was a peaceful delivery that birthed a beautiful baby girl they named GABRIELLA, she was PERFECT!

#OdogwuTales

29th August 2015 at exactly 7:21am, Gabriella was born to Hayley and Nathaniel, the 1st 30mins of her life was bliss but then something happened...

At exactly 7:51am, Gabriella developed breathing problems and needed oxygen, the children specialist (Paediatricians) were called..

The pediatricians rushed Gabriella to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) as her health got worse

Her father Nathaniel went with her and kept praying for her, telling her "Daddy is here" as the doctors tried "Intubating" her

Intubation is inserting a tube through the mouth..

to give oxygen, anaesthesia or medicine but in Gabriella's case, it was to give her more oxygen...

The doctors called in the couple into a room opposite where their baby was to explain how critical and sever Gabriella's case was...

But 5mins after intubation, HER HEART STOPPED!

The doctors rushed out of the room as no one expected that to happen and the only thing the couples were hearing was "123 Breathe...123 Breathe"

They were trying to resuscitate Gabriella and to get her heart beating again

Nathaniel looked at his wife and told her "Have No Fear"

Men are consistently told to step it up, to get their money up & to be better men & that we're trash & terrible leaders & abusers & misogynistic while most of us are just trying to find our way in life. No man under 30 has it figured out, those of us who seem like we do...

Are just master salesman & are tactically aware enough to portray a wholesome image while meeting our own ends. When we finally do reach the age where we are financially stable, sound leaders & are mature, well polished & successful...

We are told to date/marry the "age appropriate" women that were giving many of us shit as we were finding our feet. EVERY MAN KNOWS what it takes to be successful with women, yet no women give a fuck about what it takes to be successful with a man.

So this thread is to say to men, I know how many of you look through my content & don't engage, I know you're frustrated but never voice it out of fear of being shamed. But we men need to make our voices heard. Many women these days are unfeminine, confrontational, headaches...

Liabilities & downright unpleasant, but anytime we call this out we're branded misogynists... They call us out tons but are applauded... We are taught from a young age that we should take everything a woman gives you & never retaliate... Im here to say FUCK THAT.

There are a lot of people in this world who beat themselves up over being uncontrollably "lazy", and they don't understand why they've spent their whole lives struggling with something that seems to not even be a slight issue for most "normal" people. Please allow me to alleviate

Apply a material outlook.

A lot of these women make a claim to be defending the ways which men might woo a woman. To help the men get a woman and heal a fracture between the two with the eventual goal of children.

A material outlook ignores what is said as it's assumed it can't be trusted or known by itself to be sincere. This includes any verbal displays of hatred towards men as frustration may overtake one and lead them to speak what they may not believe.

So what's actually occurring here?
The purpose to which the words are put in the long term are uncertain and always a distant. In the short term, directly, they take to defending a very specific behavior that often falls under what is called "simping".

The dedication by a man of his positive attentions, affections and or funds to a woman that is someone he is not directly involved with and has no relationship or reciprocated romantic connection too.

It is generally assumed the woman has no real interest in him and may be using him. But without the assumption, this is naturally of course very similar to the actual ways relationships may begin.

tw weight , dieting , eating disorders
/
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can we all have a touch grass moment for a second. can we please remember that idols are real people. real people with problems they might not have the access to solutions for. many of them young, early 20’s, brains still unfinished.

yes, there is a level of responsibility when it comes to what you share with your audience, especially if they are young and impressionable, however, idols are not going to be hyperonline like most of us, and are not going to know the ins and outs of what might be acceptable +

+ especially in regards to something as nuanced and varied from place to place as diet culture. no, i don’t think talking about going on a diet as an idol is inherently bad. they are sharing their life with us.

as it stands, their jobs revolve around being open with us, and if it provides some comfort to them to be able to share things like this, then i don’t think it should necessarily be shamed as hard as it was this morning.

i saw a tweet saying to pick up a book on fat politics to see why this whole debacle is just unbridled fatphobia from the artist.

no idol that i know of has ever purported to be apart of any kind of body posi/fat liberation movement.

BURIED MY HEART IN A PIT.
Some heartbroken i can say talks of a helpless father.
A Thread by @tkwmag
I have mentioned few thing, hope you won't ignore.
Please share as much as possible

Mushtaq Ahmad Wani is the father of Ather Wani, a 17-year-old boy killed in an alleged gunfight in Srinagar by the government forces on 30 December 2020. Ather was buried at a desolate graveyard, more than a hundred kilometers away from his home in Pulwama. ++

The oppression dies — at last. The oppression has to end.
#ReturnTheBodies ++

On 30 December 2020, near 12 pm, I reached home to a group of people waiting outside my home. I rushed inside, anxious. “Your son has been martyred in Srinagar,” my elder brother told me.. I boarded a family vehicle with Ather’s mother and reached the PCR in Srinagar. ++

My son was lying inside the PCR but the police personnel at the gate didn’t allow us. “I’m his father. I want to see his face,” I pleaded. I pleaded more. And more. But they didn’t allow me, saying, “Wait till the higher officer calls them.” ++

I have now been meditating for ~30 days in a row.

Here are 10 things i've observed so far.

1. The habit is more important than the ritual. I don't have a fancy setup, i don't sit down on the floor, i don't do mantras, i don't count my breathes or how long i breathe for. I sit on a chair, put a calm playlist on, let my brain run free. It hurts, but it works.

2. People tell me their main objection to giving it a go is they're afraid of what might surface. But this is entirely the point of meditating, to see whatever repressed feelings are unresolved. On that note...

3. Meditation for me is the art of being a little bit less afraid. And of feeling a little bit less hurt. And of normalising pain. And of understanding where our ego is coming from. We're so curious about the world, we forget to be curious about ourselves.

4. I started with 10 minutes, then 15, 20, now at 25 (soon i might move to 30). I couldn't imagine starting with 30 minutes, but now i barely see the time flying and couldn't go back to 10. It's the runner's high for people who don't like running (✋).

When you are struggling, whether it’s problems at work, low self-esteem, conflicts in your relationships, etc, it feels much better to funnel your negative energy into blaming someone else than to confront your own role in your problems. A lot of people join hate groups because

it allows them to funnel the blame for all of their problems into another group of people while being supported by a group of people who share their beliefs and make them feel like they belong.

Many other people join hate groups because it fills their need for friendship and belonging. You don’t need to do or be anything special, all you have to do is be negative towards other people. It feels easy. Likewise, some people find it easier to make connections by putting

others down and seeing who agrees than to prove to people that they are interesting and valuable companions.

When someone new enters a group, particularly if they are in a position of influence, many people immediately begin gossiping negative things about the person because they fear how that individual will change their group dynamics. Sharing hatred toward the new person is a way

Your thoughts determine your success.

Seven Mental Models That Will Make You Wealthy

=Thread=

Whether you like it or not,

you are the sum of your habits.

Successful people understand this.

They know that your habits define you.

They shape you in ways that you may not realize.

These are the 7 Metal Models I personally use to program my mind for financial success.

1. Expect Success

It all comes down to your expectations.

Wealthy people expect to be wealthy.

Unlucky people expect the opposite.

Do you really believe that one day you will be able to become wealthy? You should.

This is the first step.

Everything Comes Down to Frame

Read “Psycho-Cybernetics”

It explains how success/self-image are linked.

You are defined by your mental portrait.

This portrait is a combination of past experiences/feelings.

This image is the foundation of our personality.

If you believe that wealth will elude you, it will.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset

Growth Mindset is the idea that you can develop your own abilities. It is the belief in change. 

And when you believe in change,

You will enter a world of possibilities.

1/ A LONG LOUD SIGH

genius?
sometimes you are in its minimal spotted light
sometimes
other times you just know you've been touched and you freeze
moved but frozen
like a stranger it moves in
does its work and leaves

2/

maybe it's been a while since you two spoke
when the dead sea still hosted life
the hanging gardens of babylon grew in sinc with the breath of the planet
before the tower of pisa started to lean
or mayan buildings were in ruin

3/

so you write words
any words
they might at least soothe your hurt
hold your heart in a protective shield
you know how crippling unrequited love can be
do you still dream of its hug

genius?

4/

life and love share more than a first letter

(like the first letter you wrote under the veil of inspiration)

they also share good and evil
it's a flip of the coin
either way is fine with you
you'd bathe in holy water or sell your soul

5/

life love passion
somewhere in there -it lives
genius

all of nature a reflection through its transparent figure glows dark
like the shadows live in the radiant illumination of evening rays

so let me speak of us

I left an abusive relationship in the middle of a pandemic, with two young kids, and no stable income.

I was broken, mentally exhausted, sick and numb as a result of years of verbal and emotional abuse.

Today I am healing, finding joy and becoming whole again. And so can you.

There comes a point when the pain of staying becomes stronger than the fear of leaving. That’s how you know it’s time.

To choose yourself.
To regain control over your life.
To leave.

But it also takes a strong support system. People who won’t ask you to stay and suck it up.

Remember you never know what people are going through behind closed doors.

Don’t ask people to stay in abusive relationships when you have no idea what they are experiencing on a daily basis. Don’t ask them to stay for the children either.

Instead, listen to them.

A lot of women are experiencing abuse without even knowing it. The constant criticism, gaslighting, anger, control, manipulation... it can be so subtle that it becomes « natural ». You don’t question it anymore yet deep inside your self esteem is deteriorating day after day.

If you really want to help, stop asking women « Why don’t you just leave? ». It’s more complex than you’d think. Here are 5 reasons (among others) why people stay in abusive relationships:

1. Fear
2. Financial reasons
3. Loss of self
4. The desire to fix things
5. Children 👇🏽