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Why I Don't Open Up to the People I Love About My Depression

We know something’s wrong! We want to help! We love you! Why can’t you open up to us?”

Because I’m ashamed at how weak I feel.

Because if I expose that weakness to you, you might end up ashamed of me, too.

1/x

 Because the last thing I ever want to do is be a weight around your neck.

Because you have your own problems, and your own life to live.

Because it might change the way you see me.

Because it might make you want to treat me with kid gloves, to tiptoe around me because you 2/x
think I might shatter.

Because you might go the opposite route and decide it’s time for some “tough love.”

Because if I hear the words, “there are other people out there a lot worse off than you,” I probably will shatter. I’m aware. That’s part of the problem.

3/x
Because I’ve been here before, and I’ll probably be here again.  It exhausts the hell out of me.  I can only imagine what it would do to you.

Because I’m terrified you’ll blame yourself, when absolutely none of how I’m feeling is your fault.
4/x
Because I love you.
Because I want you to keep loving me.

Because I have an illness that convinces me that’s exactly what will end up happening, no matter how much you say otherwise.
I wish I could make you understand. 5/x
The person you see from the outside doesn’t remotely resemble who I’m seeing on the inside. That person is weak. That person is self-destructive. That person makes all the wrong decisions, and worst of all knows it 6/x
That person is set to fall, and I’ll be damned if he’s going to take anyone I love along for the ride.

That’s why I work so damn hard to hide it. Why I get so upset when the mask slips and you get a glimpse of what’s really going on. 7/x
Why I get angry and lash out when it does, or worse, pull away and collapse into myself. It’s because I’m afraid. Terrified. Terrified that if you see the real me, then it will all be over. You’ll wash your hands of me and go find someone who isn’t broken to spend your time 8/x
with. Someone who doesn’t take as much work. Someone who won’t drain the life out of you.

(Jeremy Michael Wilson)

Die beste Erklärung die je jemand schrieb. Sie trifft so gut.

Der volle Text: https://t.co/miQT92CNxS 9/9

#NotJustSad

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