Thread of terrorist leaders if they were drugs

Osama bin Laden - weed

old school, a true classic, kinda boring, your parents probably talk about it a lot

Ayman Al-Zawahiri - Rohypnol

old, creepy, puts you to sleep in ten minutes flat, once he comes out nobody is having a good time and the police needs to get involved

Abubakar Shekau - Crack

very high energy, much bigger than anyone ever thought it'd be, for when the original is too elitist for you, speaking in tongues is just part of the deal

Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi - Alcohol

everyone knows about it, easy to pretend it's not a problem until it's A REAL BIG PROBLEM, not great for the waist line, when it ends it's messy and children probably get hurt

Enrique Tarrio - Bath Salts

new kid on the block, kinda weird, makes you start dumb shit you can't get up, your mom probably thinks its a cleaning product, really desperately needs to be regulated

Iyad Ag Ghaly - LSD

used to be really cool, was in a band once, great at parties, good intentions, comes in nice friendly packaging, one lick and now you're standing in your living room holding a bloody knife staring at the corpse of your gf and there's spiders under your skin

Abdelmalek Droukdel - Magic Mushrooms

likes to stare at a white wall and think about the universe, hiking is fun, forgets to shower a lot, everything is changing to quickly we should retvrn to nature, nobody understands what you're saying

Abu Mohammad Al-Julani - Cocaine

expensive, energetic, youthful, can be found in surprisingly high class company, has a lot of ideas he'd like to tell you about

David Duke - literally just licking a toad

gross, slimy, i understand why people fell for this shit in the middle ages but its 2021 and just why??, seriously dude get help, disgusting

Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi - Ketamine

always weird when a professional brings it up, just kinda bumbling around aimlessly, you were supposed to do something but what was it again?

Joseph Kony - PCP

was a big deal once for like a week, manic, doesn't seem very in touch with reality, KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN

José Antonio Urrutikoetxea - Barbituates

real big in the 70s, for people with legitimate anxiety issues, and people who are WAY overreacting to legitimate anxiety issues, you always forget that it's still around

Ahmad Umar - Opiates

your dealer can look like a reputable source, seems like an easy way to fix some legitimate problem, a scourge on the middle class and in control of most of the backlands, once its in a community youre never getting rid of it

the last ones were just for @KroszKrisz

and were officially done

Thread of terrorist leaders if they were drugs

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