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Autism and meltdowns - what are they and how can you help?

A thread. Please read and share widely. As always, based on my own experiences.

#autism #autistic #Meltdown

 Autistic people are stressed. *Very* stressed. Take it from me - our existence is generally peppered with moments of calm on a backdrop of continual tension and intense stress. The reasons for this are complex. /2
Our senses are often way too sensitive, meaning we live assaulted by intense sensory input - sound, vision, smell, touch and so forth. This means our base level stress is always much higher than most folks. /3
We are also usually struggling to make sense of social communication in a way neurotypical people don't need to worry about. Often we have to put actual brainwork into every interaction, as nothing seems to come naturally to us. Even with friends or loved ones. /4
So our glass of stress is very frequently filled to the absolute brim, and it doesn't take very much for us to spill over into a kind of 'post-stress' state, and I guess that's what we call meltdown. /5 #autistic
The thing is, I'm pretty sure all humans meltdown if they reach the required stress levels. All humans have that limit that, once reached, leads to a sort of explosion of stress energy. It's just that for neurotypicals this is a relatively rare event. /6 #autistic
Whilst we #autistic folk are pushed (and I want to emphasise that transitive verb) into meltdown frequently as our base stress is so high. Once that threshold is reached, an autistic person will 'meltdown', which can present in several ways. /7 #autistic
Sometimes a meltdown will manifest in very obvious, loud, energetic ways. Shouting, screaming, groaning in some cases (though this is rather stereotypical), flapping our hands, rocking, pacing, lashing out, crying, shaking - any or all of these may be present /8 #autistic
But it really is different for everybody. I, for example, tend to shake a lot and shout, often in frustration and even fear as it can feel very involuntary. If it *is* controllable, I haven't mastered it at all. /9 #autistic
But we can also 'shutdown' which is a more passive form of meltdown, and it seems to be one that can be learned, as it is more 'socially acceptable' than a noisy meltdown snd can be hidden more easily. /10 #autistic
This is where you essentially just stop. Go very quiet, very still, zone out, act vavantly like you've retreated inside your head which, in many ways, you have. You may not respond to anyone, to the point that folks can get frustrated with you (not very helpful). /11 #autistic
Both states are responses to being fundamentally over-stressed, and both are unpleasant to experience for the #autistic person. Active meltdowns are exhausting and often embarrassing, and shutdowns are disorientating and frightening. Both can take days to recover from. /12
So how can non-autistic people help? Well the most obvious way is to help us regulate our stress. Recognise we are perpetually very stressed just by existing, and that this is just how it is, and not a failing of ours. /13 #autistic
Help us reduce any extra stress. Listen if we tell you we're overwhelmed, and act. Remove us from stressors or take stressors away. Don't force us into unnecessary stress. Be empathetic when we're stressed, rather than annoyed and frustrated. /14
Sadly it's often the case that meltdowns are triggered by how *others* react to our stress levels. We pick up on that frustration and annoyance and it can fill us with shame and fear as we know what's inevitably going to happen. /15 #autistic
So try to nip that in the bud. Tell us you are aware of our stress levels and assure us it'll be OK.

If a meltdown happens, then what? /16 #autistic
It's different for everybody but generally, try to give us space. Don't crowd us or push into our space. Allow us to remove ourselves from the stress. Keep an eye on us and move things away so we won't hurt ourselves if necessary. /17 #autistic
Don't push someone in shutdown. Don't demand they talk or force eye contact. Give us things we find comfort in, put some music on, give us space and talk reassuringly but not patronising. Let us work through it and afterwards, be kind. /18 #autistic
Bare in mind we'll have a kind of hangover afterwards, and probably be very tired and sad. This is the time where empathy and compassion are most powerful. Remember that we don't intend to cause upset. /19
I hope that is useful. As always I'm leaving this here as I'm trying to support myself with this writing and advocacy, so thanks for reading.

https://t.co/qonxXX3C91

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Autistic behaviours that are generally discriminated against, despite being harmless and just how we are.

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1. Stimming - repetitive physical movement to help regulate our stress levels. They feel nice and are really helpful but people seem to hate to see it. #autism

2. No eye contact. We generally find this too intimate and intense, and will avoid. It can even cause pain if forced. But people don't trust us even though we inform them we're autistic. #autism

3. Sitting in 'odd' positions. We're often very bendable - remember Ehlers-Danlos syndrome is a common comorbidity - and loads of feel more comfortable in slightly contorted positions. People always comment 'you can't be comfy like that'.

Yes. Yes I can. #autism

4. Stammering when excited. We can get so passionate about some subjects that we struggle to get the words out as they all get caught in the annoying bottleneck of actually having to leave our mouths. But it irritates people, makes them assume we're somehow lesser. #autism
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#thread #autism

1. Autism has always existed, as far as we can tell. Any increase in the number of autistic people is due to better diagnosis and growing population. There are historic figures who display many autistic traits, such as Isaac Newton. #autism

2. Autism is not an illness or disease. It cannot be caught, nor does it appear to spontaneously happen. You are born autistic and you will die autistic - it is not 'curable'. #autism

3. Autistic people do not lack empathy, nor are we emotionless robots. We often struggle to communicate emotion, and we can have alexithymia, making identification of emotions hard, though. #autism

4. Autism affects the entire demographic - doesn't matter your gender, sexuality, age, class, skin colour, culture. Autism is a human condition. #autism
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Once again I'm reminded that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The recent push by a large number of autistic people to 'own' their diagnosis and try to raise acceptance and dispel harmful myths has kicked up a minority of autistic people to fight against this.

This may seem bizarre - who fights against improved acceptance? - but actually has clear roots in the ongoing culture war the West seems engaged in. The identity positive autistic movement, of which I am a part, is viewed by some as another manifestation of 'wokeness'.

This is the right-wing definition of 'wokeness', of course - ie a modern equivalent of the pejorative take on political correctness, but it's definitely at the core of this 'neurorealist' movement - the idea the autistic community is being hijacked by 'woke lefties'.

They believe that the push for acceptance of neurodiversity and rejection of the medicalisation of autism is misguided and drawing attention away from those autistic people who, in their view, need more help and intervention.

The trouble is, this view is pretty much baseless. Firstly, there is little evidence that autistic advocates who push for acceptance are in any way harming autistic people who require more help and support. Second, the view effectively silences those of us who are able to share.
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How to help the #autistic people in your life get through Christmas - a practical thread of advice.

Please read and share!

(This is based on my own experiences of being autistic)

#autism #christmas

1. Give #autistic people an easy escape route they know they can take without judgement - knowing you can dash off to recharge without being questioned can help so much!

2. Don't play Christmas music really loudly around the house. No one needs that anyway but if you must, make it not too intrusive as it can be difficult for #autistic people to handle. Christmas music is *so* 'busy'!

3. Don't expect clear and unambiguous response to Christmas presents when opened. Many #autistic people struggle to show the appropriate emotional reaction, and are also terrified of making you feel bad. We show appreciation in our own way.

4. Don't forget #autistic friends and relatives may not be as excited about meeting up with family members as you are. There is likely a lot of anxiety there, especially this year. Be mindful of this and don't force it.
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30 things you can do that might help #autistic people in your lives.

A thread. Please read and share widely, and add to it as you see fit.

#autism #autistic

1. Let us decompress in quiet areas when we need to. Our desire to be alone is not judgement on you, it's simple self preservation. #autism

2. If you need us to do something, give us very clear, unambiguous instruction. Don't feel like you're being rude doing this, but don't sound irritated or patronising! #autism

3. Do not expect us to react to things in a way you would expect. That way lies disappointment. We often show our emotions in very different ways to what you might expect. #autism

4. Don't assume we aren't capable of thought and feeling if we're non-verbal. Don't assume we're incapable of communicating in other ways either. #autism
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