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30 things you can do that might help #autistic people in your lives.

A thread. Please read and share widely, and add to it as you see fit.

#autism #autistic

 1. Let us decompress in quiet areas when we need to. Our desire to be alone is not judgement on you, it's simple self preservation. #autism
2. If you need us to do something, give us very clear, unambiguous instruction. Don't feel like you're being rude doing this, but don't sound irritated or patronising! #autism
3. Do not expect us to react to things in a way you would expect. That way lies disappointment. We often show our emotions in very different ways to what you might expect. #autism
4. Don't assume we aren't capable of thought and feeling if we're non-verbal. Don't assume we're incapable of communicating in other ways either. #autism
5. Don't expect #autistic children to 'grow out of' being autistic. They just won't. That doesn't happen.
6. Don't force us to wear particular clothing if we have a visceral negative reaction to it - it's texture or fit might be causing *significant* discomfort and unhappiness. #autism
7. Don't be upset if we don't wish to socialise with you, as we often have considerable limits in our capacity. However do ask as generally it's nice to get the opportunity. #autism
8. Check in on #autistic people from time to time. Don't be upset if they don't respond quickly - all socialising is stressful and many of us are very forgetful and disorganised!
9. Don't use banter or negative insulting humour to autistic people, unless you know they're OK with it from you specifically. There are maybe four people on earth I can be jokingly insulted by without panicking that they mean it. #autism
10. Remember all autistic people have a very different experience of autism - it's a huge, varied grab bag of traits so any list like this has to be taken carefully. #autism
11. Don't force us to make phone calls. Phone phobia is common for many #autistic people and it can be *very* serious. If there's an alternative let us use if without judgement.
12. Don't force eye contact. Many #autistic people find eye contact way too intimate and emotionally draining so they're not gonna want to do it with their boss or a stranger. We are still listening.
13. Let us stim! These movements, sounds of activities are great for regulating our stress levels and are absolutely vital. Unless we're hurting ourselves or others, let us be. #autism
14. Talk to us and listen to us about our special interests. It may be a bit of an info dump but believe me, be a safe listener and we'll appreciate it so so much. #autism
15. Let #autistic people play with their toys however they want.
16. If an #autistic person forgets something, don't be too harsh on us please. It's hard to remember stuff when just surviving is tricky.
17. Remember that many #autistic people have comorbid conditions - from depression to intellectual disabilities. Be sensitive and assume nothing.
18. Don't infantalise #autistic people - we're not big kids or babies, we are adults with agency and minds of our own.
19. Don't spread misinformation about autism and call it out when you see it - eg #autistic people having no empathy and so on.
20. Pay attention to our pronouns and language. Many, many #autistic people are in some ways non-binary, trans, queer or asexual, or more. Again, assume nothing and *listen*.
21. Don't assume we're 'high functioning'. That language can go in the bin. We may well be good at some stuff but behind the scenes you don't know how difficult we find life.
22. Don't treat 'autism' or 'autistic' as if it's a dirty word, avoiding it with euphemism. It's really fucking annoying.
23. Give opportunities to #autistic people, if you're in the position to. We're frequently in the creative arts thanks to our brains, and being given chances can change everything.
24. If you want #autistic people to do stuff for you, pay us as you would non-autistic people.
25. Don't force an #autistic person into a situation they're uncomfortable with unless you know they'd rather you help push them. You have no idea how scared we may be.
26. Let #autistic people follow their routine as much as you possibly can. It helps lots of us immeasurably most of the time and doesn't usually cost anything.
27. If an #autistic person has a meltdown or shutdown, give them space and don't judge them. Be kind. Let them rest afterwards.
28. Don't tell anyone who identifies as #autistic that they're not autistic. First, you have no idea, second, your objection is probably based on incorrect stereotypes. Third, it's rude.
29. Give us processing time to answer when you ask us things. Even if it seems an easy question.
30. Above all, follow loads of #autistic accounts on here, Facebook, YouTube etc and see what they have to say.
Thanks, I hope that was useful. I'm putting this here as I'm trying to support myself by writing about autism.

https://t.co/qonxXX3C91
(Please note this is based on my own experiences and understanding, and I do not speak somehow for all autistic people)

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Things You Need to Know About Autism - a thread for sharing.

I try to raise awareness, understanding and acceptance of #autistic people. Have a read and hopefully it will help.

#thread #autism

1. Autism has always existed, as far as we can tell. Any increase in the number of autistic people is due to better diagnosis and growing population. There are historic figures who display many autistic traits, such as Isaac Newton. #autism

2. Autism is not an illness or disease. It cannot be caught, nor does it appear to spontaneously happen. You are born autistic and you will die autistic - it is not 'curable'. #autism

3. Autistic people do not lack empathy, nor are we emotionless robots. We often struggle to communicate emotion, and we can have alexithymia, making identification of emotions hard, though. #autism

4. Autism affects the entire demographic - doesn't matter your gender, sexuality, age, class, skin colour, culture. Autism is a human condition. #autism
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Pete Wharmby
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Autism and meltdowns - what are they and how can you help?

A thread. Please read and share widely. As always, based on my own experiences.

#autism #autistic #Meltdown

Autistic people are stressed. *Very* stressed. Take it from me - our existence is generally peppered with moments of calm on a backdrop of continual tension and intense stress. The reasons for this are complex. /2

Our senses are often way too sensitive, meaning we live assaulted by intense sensory input - sound, vision, smell, touch and so forth. This means our base level stress is always much higher than most folks. /3

We are also usually struggling to make sense of social communication in a way neurotypical people don't need to worry about. Often we have to put actual brainwork into every interaction, as nothing seems to come naturally to us. Even with friends or loved ones. /4

So our glass of stress is very frequently filled to the absolute brim, and it doesn't take very much for us to spill over into a kind of 'post-stress' state, and I guess that's what we call meltdown. /5 #autistic
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Once again I'm reminded that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The recent push by a large number of autistic people to 'own' their diagnosis and try to raise acceptance and dispel harmful myths has kicked up a minority of autistic people to fight against this.

This may seem bizarre - who fights against improved acceptance? - but actually has clear roots in the ongoing culture war the West seems engaged in. The identity positive autistic movement, of which I am a part, is viewed by some as another manifestation of 'wokeness'.

This is the right-wing definition of 'wokeness', of course - ie a modern equivalent of the pejorative take on political correctness, but it's definitely at the core of this 'neurorealist' movement - the idea the autistic community is being hijacked by 'woke lefties'.

They believe that the push for acceptance of neurodiversity and rejection of the medicalisation of autism is misguided and drawing attention away from those autistic people who, in their view, need more help and intervention.

The trouble is, this view is pretty much baseless. Firstly, there is little evidence that autistic advocates who push for acceptance are in any way harming autistic people who require more help and support. Second, the view effectively silences those of us who are able to share.
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Why do #autistic students get excluded so frequently from school?

Some thoughts, based on my own experiences. If we have an understanding of the 'why', it's easier to address the results.

Please read and share! /1

Autistic students often find themselves being punished more than average at school. Frequently this can escalate to temporary exclusion and similar 'punishments'. Are autistic students generally just more naughty? Of course not. So what's the deal? /2

Everything about the fundamentals of a school day is designed around neurotypical children. Most school day elements are also very old, and have been around since long before people became more 'autism aware'. /3

What we see as the core experience of doing subjects for around an hour, before moving to the next subject, between the ages of 5 and 18 dates back *decades*. So where do autistic students fit in? /4

Well, they don't. Students with an autistic or ADHD neurotype quite simply do not slot into this structure. The only way they can is by essentially squashing their own needs in order to fit in with the majority. If they can't do this? That's where the 'punishments' come in. /5
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Pete Wharmby
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@commaficionado
Autistic behaviours that are generally discriminated against, despite being harmless and just how we are.

A thread🧵

1. Stimming - repetitive physical movement to help regulate our stress levels. They feel nice and are really helpful but people seem to hate to see it. #autism

2. No eye contact. We generally find this too intimate and intense, and will avoid. It can even cause pain if forced. But people don't trust us even though we inform them we're autistic. #autism

3. Sitting in 'odd' positions. We're often very bendable - remember Ehlers-Danlos syndrome is a common comorbidity - and loads of feel more comfortable in slightly contorted positions. People always comment 'you can't be comfy like that'.

Yes. Yes I can. #autism

4. Stammering when excited. We can get so passionate about some subjects that we struggle to get the words out as they all get caught in the annoying bottleneck of actually having to leave our mouths. But it irritates people, makes them assume we're somehow lesser. #autism
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1/“What would need to be true for you to….X”

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A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

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- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

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Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

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It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

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Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.
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A relationship begins to get stiff when excessive patterns begin to form.

Too many patterns leads to a boring, predictable, logical lifestyle.

Get the emotions involved.

Do something spontaneous out of the blue moon & flip the script.

'What's wrong with the patterns?'

Nothing is wrong with patterns.

However, there is a problem when all you have are patterns.

It's boring.

'Can you explain why?'

Sure 👇

The thing with relationships is that it's meant to be an emotional experience.

It's very difficult to logically explain love, right?

'Right.'

Well this is where you want to steer the ship the right way.

1. Too emotional is bad.

2. Too logical is bad.

Let me break it down.

1. Too emotional

If a relationship is completely ruled by emotions, then it's too volatile.

You will never reach productivity if you are aimlessly only following each others emotions.

This lifestyle tarnishes any structure for the couple.

'So why do people do it?'

Because it's fun.

You may ruled by this stage in the honeymoon phase.

Normal.

You'll be so spontaneous that it almost becomes a lifestyle.

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Avoid.
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HOW TO MAKE A LADY CUM FASTER (18+)

Sweetie, mastering the art of the 15-minute orgasm isn't easy. So, I prepared this thread to help you guys become a master at this game.... So let's GET DIRTYYY😋

What type of pussy do you like?

OH!-MINUS 15 MINUTES

The first three minutes of your 15 should be spent kissing your partner.

• so I want u to tilt your head to the right while kissing her. You're going to feel some connection and trust as you passionately kiss her for 3minutes💋


Make sure you're not just kissing her mouth, though.

• Slide off the lips to her neck occasionally so that her neck doesn’t become desensitised.

Now you need to get co-ordinated. Each time you kiss her neck, remove an item of her clothes😉

Make sure you compliment your partner on each part of her body as you undress it.

Make sure you kiss and caress as you remove her clothes 🤤😋
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10 Life Lessons You Won't Learn Anywhere Else.


Previously, I might have given some lessons I have learnt in 24 Months,

By nature man should learn, adapt and survive,

It's through pain that you learn the greatest secrets of life, things we ignore but really matter,

Which lessons?

Let's see,


1. Be ready to unlearn anything- by unlearning, chances of anything happening are infinite,

People change,

Times change,

Feelings change,

When this happens, take a step back, don't bitch around, feel, heal and move on. Create your reality.


2. Relearn- Your existence is random, nature would be so unfair or fair to have you where you are. It's your life, YOU,

It is what it is, just does not work,

You have to make it work, so you must learn,

Faster to even outrun your capabilities.


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Some of you will probably know I'm currently grieving. It's a month since my fantastic sister died. I've been thinking a lot about loss, progress and reckoning and coming to terms, both personally and as a society. And I've been wondering: how will we remember the pandemic dead?

The UK is filled with memorials to the dead of wars, of disasters, of lifeboat crews and atrocities. We are a landscape haunted by attempts to remember the brave and the innocent. Villages, towns, businesses, communities: all grouped together to pay for plaques, statues, gardens

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Rebecca Solnit talks about hope only coming from knowing history. People may be optimistic about the future post-covid-19, but that's just desire and dream. For us to build a hopeful future we need to acknowledge and feel what has been lost; to repair and grow, not just erase

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