Are you writing a sci-fi or fantasy novel? Are you struggling to choose a title for it?

Well good news! I've just analysed the titles of 1,500 DAW sci-fi and fantasy novels, and I think I've found the secret!

Come with me...

Time once again for my occasional series "Women with great hair fleeing gothic houses!"

And today all the covers are by Walter Popp...

Crucible of Evil, by Lyda Belknap Long. Avon Gothic Original, 1974. Cover art by Walter Popp.

Hornet's Nest, by Evelyn Bond. Avon Gothic Original, 1972 Cover by Walter Popp.

The House In Munich, by Dorothy Dowdell. Avon, 1974. Art by Walter Popp.

The Secret Of Chateau Laval, by Susan Marvin. Avon Gothic, 1973. Art by Walter Popp.

Due to the pandemic you may not have visited your local library in a while. So come with me on a virtual library tour, courtesy of stock photography, to see what we do for a living...

Libraries are of course information resource centres, but in many ways they are so much more. To get the best out of them you need to really know your way around the stacks.

The enquiries desk is normally your first stop in a library, and this is where you will meet The Angry Librarian! Why is she angry? Because you keep asking her stupid questions!

"Are you open?"
"Do you have a toilet?"
"That chair's wobbly!"
"Why isn't it available in audiobook?"
"Someone else is on the computer and that's not fair!"

On and on it goes...

And that's why in the library we insist on silence. It's the only way to stop us swearing at all the idiotic things you ask us. And we've looked up a lot of old swear words: beardsplitter, bescumber, rantallion, smellfungus etc. We're such muckspouts...

What do you think folks, shall we do some bad book covers today?

I think we should...

"I have made some bad decisions in my life..."

Dressed Up For Murder, by Gary Brander. Fastback, 1986.

"It's not you Mr Darcy, it's me..."

Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. Bestseller Library, 1966.

Move along Twitter, nothing to see here...

The Star Fox, by Poul Anderson. Panther Books 1968. Cover by Bob Haberfield.

Fangs For The Mammaries, edited by Esther Friesner. Baen Books 2010. Art by Clyde Caldwell.

I see what you did there Clyde...

Which book took you the longest time to actually finish reading?

For me: Underworld. 17 years from buying it to actually getting around to reading it, and maybe 19 months on and off to make myself read it until the end.

Still, ticked it off the list ✔

Second place goes to The Charterhouse of Parma, which Stendhal wrote in 52 days. According to the Oxfam Books receipt I used as a bookmark I bought it on 11 April 2009. Finished it last month.

Coming Up For Air was torture. It's nature's punishment for autodidacts.

Do YOU have what it takes to be a pulp nurse? It's a demanding, exciting, glamorous and sometimes dangerous occupation you know!

Let's look at a few job opportunities in this field... #FridayFeeling

Firstly there are many different grades of pulp nurse:
- duty nurse
- mystery nurse
- big town nurse
- scandalous nurse

You can give as far as your ambition takes you in pulp nursing!

And there are opportunities in many geographical locations:
- Washington
- Vegas
- the Caribbean
- Iberia

So be prepared to travel!

Pulp nursing opportunities are available in many specialist settings:
- prisons
- art colonies
- dude ranches
- nightmare islands

Different pay rates apply so always check before your posting.

And of course some occupations need more nursing attention than others:
- hockey players
- surf bums
- scuba enthusiasts
- astronauts

Wherever there is risk there's a need for nursing.

(a thread)
My favorite tv show is Adventure Time. I am here to argue that if you look at the show from an angle of mental health and managing it, Finn and Jake are not the lead characters. Princess Bubblegum is. 1

The most compelling character on the show, to me anyway, is Lemongrab. He was created by PB, the first of the candy people she created to “go wrong”. Lemongrab has devastating anxiety. He doesn’t know and can’t learn how to interact with the world. 2

When he’s lonely, he sneaks into the castle to stare at people while they sleep. PB tries to teach him to cuddle and play with a candy person but he can only poke and slap. He screams, he calls things “unacceptable”, he sentences folks to the dungeon. 3

When given a castle of his own and a clone to keep him company, everything gets donked up. He and his clone make living messed-up people out of their food, they eat each other, it’s a horrifying place. 4

Lemongrab just CAN’T with other people. The more he tries, the more frustrating it gets, so the more he screams.
For the purpose of this thread, Lemongrab represents ANXIETY. 5

1. This morning we looked at wills & will writing but that is not the only component of inheritance. You can either die with a will or without one. Those who die without die intestate. And intestate comes in 3 ways.

2. a) If a person dies quiet a valid will,
b) if the person appointed to benefit from a will dies first & no substitution of heir is made
c) if the person appointed cannot take under a will.
The law focuses on the rights of the surviving spouse and the child if there is no will.

3. 2 major things affect intestate succession and these are date of death and marital status. This is because the current law ONLY affects people who died after 1 Nov 1997 & there are different laws that affect married & single people at death. The type of marriage applies too.

4. If you are married in terms of general law or what was once called ‘-Chapter 37’ & now ‘Chapter 5:11 or are married under ‘Chapter 5:07’ which is a registered customary marriage (muchato wekamudzviti) the Deceased Estates Succession Act applies. It’s only for registered 💍

5. If you are married under an unregistered customary law union (UCLU) which means having the traditional wedding without registration, the Administration of Estates Act applies. I don’t want to labour you with the technicalities but the distinction is very important.

STAR WARS GENOCIDE THREAD: If you're a Mandalorian fan you are no doubt aware that @ginacarano was fired by Disney for explaining on Twitter how the same sort of behavior Democrats are engaging now in resulted in the holocaust. The left-wing mob wasted no time proving her right.

Authors, you deserve an agent who…

Replies to your emails in a timely fashion, and lets you know when they won’t be able to.
(1/13)

Reads your manuscripts, revisions, outlines, and other materials in a timely fashion, provides an EDA when needed, and lets you know if a delay occurs.
(2/13)

Communicates in a way that works for YOU, be that email, texting, or phone, and is open FROM THE CALL STAGE about any forms of communication they are unable or unwilling to use.
(3/13)

Understands and respects YOUR publishing goals, and is upfront and honest about how realistic they are.
(4/13)

Respects your decision to turn down any offer, for any reason, and to hold out for YOUR minimum requirements for taking an offer.
(5/13)