It’s thirty years since The KLF’s 3am Eternal hit Number One so I suppose it must also be about thirty years since 13-year-old me met The KLF at Top Of The Pops.

I’d decided they were my favourite band a couple of years earlier and at that point I hadn’t really grasped the fact that most of the music they were making in 1989/1990 was for people either at raves or coming down after raves. https://t.co/GxkZZZ85Du
To be frank I made a complete nuisance of myself. Often after school I’d phone their PRs Mick and Pam, or their radio plugger Scott, or their distributor James, and later on Cress and Sallie at their office in Brixton.
I must have been extremely annoying but they’d make time for a chat and sometimes send me photos and white labels and merch. Sometimes they even phoned me. I once came home from school to find my dad on the phone to Bill Drummond.
At one point someone mentioned in passing that on my 13th birthday the band had toyed with the idea of driving their famous but increasingly dilapidated car, Ford Timelord, to my house in East Grinstead and dumping it outside. (?)
They knew it was my birthday because my mum had written to their PO Box asking if they would sign a birthday card (they replied with a heap of signed merchandise, music, white labels, and Ford Timelord’s tax disc).
Anyway, by 1991 they were having hits and had been booked to play a pre-Brits show at Wembley Arena but when they pulled out their plugger, Scott Piering, knew I’d be disappointed so invited me to Top Of The Pops to finally meet my heroes. I got the afternoon off school!
I don’t look excited in the pic but in my mind they were on a Madonna/Michael Jackson level and I remember nearly throwing up as they first walked up the stairs to say hello. I spent the day with them. Jimmy Cauty gave me his home phone number (why would you do that??).
While the whole TOTP experience was happening my dad, who’d been told to wait in reception, decided to go for a wander around Television Centre. He held a door open for a famous person and was rewarded with a ‘thanks, boss’. (Jimmy Savile.)
In 1992 the band split. I did a fanzine about them, which was shit, but Scott Piering gave it to Steve Wright who banged on about it on Radio 1, read out my home address (!) with price details. I received hundreds of orders and for better or worse that set my career in motion.
Anyway all those small acts of generosity (and patience) the band and their team showed their annoying teenage superfan three decades ago still mean a huge amount to me.
So if you’re a popstar or are thinking of becoming one, or work with one, don’t underestimate the power of acknowledging your fans. Maybe send them a letter for no reason! I don’t know. Maybe it only takes a like or a follow.
Also: still a banger https://t.co/j9vkkeLC3d

More from Culture

I just finished Eric Adler's The Battle of the Classics, and wanted to say something about Joel Christiansen's review linked below. I am not sure what motivates the review (I speculate a bit below), but it gives a very misleading impression of the book. 1/x


The meat of the criticism is that the history Adler gives is insufficiently critical. Adler describes a few figures who had a great influence on how the modern US university was formed. It's certainly critical: it focuses on the social Darwinism of these figures. 2/x

Other insinuations and suggestions in the review seem wildly off the mark, distorted, or inappropriate-- for example, that the book is clickbaity (it is scholarly) or conservative (hardly) or connected to the events at the Capitol (give me a break). 3/x

The core question: in what sense is classics inherently racist? Classics is old. On Adler's account, it begins in ancient Rome and is revived in the Renaissance. Slavery (Christiansen's primary concern) is also very old. Let's say classics is an education for slaveowners. 4/x

It's worth remembering that literacy itself is elite throughout most of this history. Literacy is, then, also the education of slaveowners. We can honor oral and musical traditions without denying that literacy is, generally, good. 5/x

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महर्षि कश्यप की तेरह पत्नियां थीं।लेकिन विनता व कद्रु नामक अपनी दो पत्नियों से उन्हे विशेष लगाव था।एक दिन महर्षि आनन्दभाव में बैठे थे कि तभी वे दोनों उनके समीप आकर उनके पैर दबाने लगी।


प्रसन्न होकर महर्षि कश्यप बोले,"मुझे तुम दोनों से विशेष लगाव है, इसलिए यदि तुम्हारी कोई विशेष इच्छा हो तो मुझे बताओ। मैं उसे अवश्य पूरा करूंगा ।"

कद्रू बोली,"स्वामी! मेरी इच्छा है कि मैं हज़ार पुत्रों की मां बनूंगी।"
विनता बोली,"स्वामी! मुझे केवल एक पुत्र की मां बनना है जो इतना बलवान हो की कद्रू के हज़ार पुत्रों पर भारी पड़े।"
महर्षि बोले,"शीघ्र ही मैं यज्ञ करूंगा और यज्ञ के उपरांत तुम दोनो की इच्छाएं अवश्य पूर्ण होंगी"।


महर्षि ने यज्ञ किया,विनता व कद्रू को आशीर्वाद देकर तपस्या करने चले गए। कुछ काल पश्चात कद्रू ने हज़ार अंडों से काले सर्पों को जन्म दिया व विनता ने एक अंडे से तेजस्वी बालक को जन्म दिया जिसका नाम गरूड़ रखा।जैसे जैसे समय बीता गरुड़ बलवान होता गया और कद्रू के पुत्रों पर भारी पड़ने लगा


परिणामस्वरूप दिन प्रतिदिन कद्रू व विनता के सम्बंधों में कटुता बढ़ती गयी।एकदिन जब दोनो भ्रमण कर रहीं थी तब कद्रू ने दूर खड़े सफेद घोड़े को देख कर कहा,"बता सकती हो विनता!दूर खड़ा वो घोड़ा किस रंग का है?"
विनता बोली,"सफेद रंग का"।
तो कद्रू बोली,"शर्त लगाती हो? इसकी पूँछ तो काली है"।