You wake up in the middle of the night. You look around your room and see two figures standing at your door. They flick on the light and two people appeared. The Tommy twins. Both shirtless and just wearing their sweat pants. they noticed your dick was hard so they walked over...

Lady Gaga is going to sing the anthem. Fucking hell.

Followed by a black lesbian signing the pledge, this is perfect.

aaaaaaaaand now Kamala is vice president officially.

ha ha ha, Jesus, now Jennifer Lopez? It's such a mockery of a once great nation.

Biden is officially President.

With the sad news that Darren Grimes is leaving Twitter to join Locals (let's be honest, he's not), I thought it the perfect time to bring back an old thread, looking back at some of his finest moments on this website...

NB: Throughout this thread it's important to understand Darren has deleted nearly everything he's ever tweeted. You might wonder why. Over the course of the next few tweets, you will see why.

1. When he rage quit the Conservative Party in 2019, cutting up his membership card before realising that wouldn't help his grift in any way whatsoever. He now pretends it never happened.

2. When he backed Donald Trump running again in 2024 following his recent election defeat. It must be pure coincidence this tweet was deleted the night of the Capitol Riots. Once again, he now pretends it never happened.

3. When he successfully predicted the Capitol Riots... but slightly misjudged the details

YOU VS THE WORLD (THREAD)

Let me tell you a story about Sir Roger Bannister.

He was the first man to run a mile in under four minutes

Before Sir Roger, it was the mainstream GLOBAL belief that it was IMPOSSIBLE for the human body to sustain such speeds without breaking down ..

They thought the human body couldn’t physically go that fast – that it would literally collapse under the pressure.

Imagine going against a belief held by EVERYONE.

Everyone telling you that if you did this thing, your body would break down...

and doing it anyway.

"No-one can run a mile in less than four minutes.
It is impossible. You're crazy to even try!"

The 'experts' believed that the record could only be broken on a day with no wind, at 20 Celsius, on a hard dry clay track in front of a huge cheering crowd;

Ideal conditions.

May 6th, 1954 was no such day.

It was cold, the track was wet, and there were only 3000 people in the the Iffley Road crowd.

Bannister had rested for five days before because he’d reached his peak, both physically and psychologically.

Six men entered the race. Straight away, Bannister took the lead

Bannister began his last lap with a time of 3.07. He needed to do the last one in 59 seconds.

He flew past Chataway onto the last straight. He knew this was it.

The world stood still.

"I don't believe in God, but I miss him."

~ Julian Barnes 💎 #Botd 1946

"Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren't. I'm not surprised some people prefer books."
~ Julian Barnes

"To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness."
~ Julian Barnes

"Some admit the damage,and try to mitigate it;some spend their lives trying to help others who are damaged;and there are those whose main concern is to avoid further damage to themselves,at whatever cost. And those are the ones who are ruthless, and the ones to be careful of." JB

"In life, every ending is just the start of another story."
~ Julian Barnes