THE DANGERS OF FEMINISTS THEORIES OF DISPUTE RESOLUTION Ma…

She brought up the issue of why I always sat on the fence and why I always wanted to hear from the other party because it means I support the “rapist” – RAPIST? I found it funny because how do you label someone a rapist just from an allegation?

You didn't hear from the accused & never want to hear the details of the allegation because you deem it insensitive. Mary explained that she was a victim and she is still traumatized and she asked if I knew just being a guy suffices to make her feel unsafe because she was alone?

That is why she normally prefers having her flatmate around or at least pretend her flatmate was around when she had a male visitor. I said her fears were valid because, stranger danger.
We ate lunch, gisted, played scrabble (which she cheated to win. Lool) and saw a movie.

When it was time to leave, I turned and asked her, do you know if you went on Twitter to say I raped you, nobody would ask question? They will believe because you are a woman. She nodded in the affirmative and said she knows.

However, Mary like some ladies here stopped talking to me or blocked me because we never could agree on criminal justice reform – seeking truth.

If You Hear Only One Side of The Story, You Have No Understanding At All
- Chinua Achebe.

For the purpose of this thread, I will focus of rape but understand it applies to every criminal allegation. On this app, you must be familiar with the speed with which feminists jump onto every matter involving a male and female especially when it involves rape allegation.

Support is good but not when intention is sinister. We have seen them disappear into thin air when the accused is found to be innocent. It shows the intention is not justice but to bring men down and ride on the wave of recognition that comes with being champions of women affair.

In the words of Kelvin Odanz, If you stay on Twitter long enough, you are likely to start believing that there is something inherently wrong with being a man.

It would surprise you that some of them took it upon themselves to make a rapist/rape apologist list....

.... based on your opinion being found offensive to them. Names went up till the names of the writer’s siblings and friends found their way into the list and they had to discard it to save face – destroy men unless it is family and friends. INTERESTING!

But justice is not about being in support of women or men. It is about seeking truth and acting accordingly.

Lets look at few of the questionable popular feminists ideologies on conflict resolution on this app.

BELIEVE WOMEN

When an allegation is made against a man, he is threatened. If he has a reputation to maintain, they go so far as to make him lose it. It is this moral turpitude that sent Uzu 6 feet below because morality police couldn't fathom he could be innocent.

“She has no reason to lie” and “why would a woman lie about rape?” are the two most foolish reasons for believing an allegation. To lie is human. People don’t need a reason to lie. Men lie, women lie, children lie but fact don’t.

This is why it is pertinent to find out the fact of the allegation by hearing from both parties and possible witnesses. You don’t stand with gender. You stand with truth.
A lady once said if you have sex with a guy believing it would lead to relationship & it doesn’t, it is Rape

Imagine if such a person calls you a rapist, people looking for international award/recognition and others with lived in trauma would jump on it to destroy you. But you know what?

We Can Condemn People For Being Assholes Without Accusing Them Of Actual Crimes. – Somi

I remember a lady say she always believed women till her son was falsely accused and her world almost crashed. Since then, she has been intentional about details of allegations and giving audience to both parties. Don’t let it get to your door step before you apply logic.

BELIEVE FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER

To ask questions is to risk being called a rape apologist. Most blocks I got was because I chose to sit on the fence and ask that the accuser give us the full details because “He raped me” is not enough.

From the details, we can ascertain culpability as to whether it was rape, inchoate rape or sexual assault or an outright lie. If we are to believe every allegation at first instance, we are all doomed. "Believe women" is not justice. Fact, to believe first is to pervert justice.

Laws are not created for gender but to protect humans and to find justice for those wronged. That many women haven’t gotten justice is never a reason to believe an allegation and the evil of falsely accusing someone of rape is not that it makes it harder for women to get justice.

The evil is that you destroy an innocent person. A guilty verdict can strip someone of his constitutional liberties for life, so understand why the presumption of innocence is a must. You would want that courtesy extended to you - ask Kiki.

Asking questions is not meant as an indictment. We don’t want to live in a world where anyone goes down for an unproven allegation. It is not about protecting men or protecting women. You need the truth so you can rightly punish the wrong doer.

Accuser is not a proxy for Victim

BELIEVE VICTIMS

This is feminists and MeToo’s euphemistic way of saying believe women. How do you ascertain who the victim is when the fact is unknown and the accused has not be given an opportunity to defend himself?

Some people carry their trauma of years past into people’s issue and can’t wait to send the next accused guy to jail. If you are still pissed with your offender, sue him. The case at hand is not about you. There is no excuse for believing unverified claims.

Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. It is not an opinion, it is a fundamental human right. Remember that everyone is a victim in their own story and thus, the victim could either be the accuser or accuse based on the facts.

Lets step away from gender for a minute. Imagine your colleague walks up to your boss and claim you stole company funds and everyone believes and begin to vilify you, costing you the job and reputation. How would you feel?

Think on that!

The world is not divided between men and women. It is divided between good and evil & one must live with the ideology that injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere. I’m sorry about your hurt but just because you were hurt 7 years ago doesn’t make the next accused person guilty.

In criminal litigation, the judge would rather free 99 guilty people than punish one innocent person. Nobody exists to suffer the consequences of your trauma. It is even unfair that when rape is being discussed and men are accused of not understanding the effect of rape.

Majority of these men were being forced to have penetrative sex by adult women before they clocked puberty. Never tell a soldier he does not know the cost of war!

Importantly, if you already hold a belief while claiming to wait to hear from the other party, it is just confirmation bias you are pulling. It is not justice you seek.

Hearing from the other party is compulsory no matter how sensitive or emotional the accusation is.

Anyone can write an emotional story and a convincing story is all you need. The justice system is unfair to everyone across all criminal matters. Allegations should not be dismissed. However, they must be proven. No one should be vilified when the truth has not been established.

There is no truth in the court room. It is just your version of what happened versus theirs. That is how the justice system works. It is not what is right and what is fair. It is who tells the most convincing story.
- Annalise Keating (HTGAWM)

This was further given credence to in the series, POWER when Angela stated that the jury don't care about truth. They just need a convincing story.

Twitter feminists jury don't care for truth. They just want victory for women no matter who is wrong.

It suffices that a man goes down. I have no words for men who back them to earn feminine validation. This question the whole motive of claiming to champion a cause and that is why I agree with Oloye when he stated that:

“When someone claims to be acting from the highest principles, for the good of others, there is no reason to assume that the person’s motives are genuine. Any change that doesn't start from the person but aimed at changing others can easily be resentment cloaked in piety”
- Oloye

Nobody feels hurt alone. We are all affected either in person or in our relationship with others. In attempting to bring men down, remember it is not just men but women’s sons, women’s siblings, women’s fathers, women’s friends. This applies to men trying to bring down women.

We are first humans before male and female. To fight for one gender rather than truth is to strike a spear through humanity because it would bounce back on us all. In seeking justice, please dead the performative gestures, self-flagellation and virtue signalling.

It is disingenuous, narcissistic and hollow. We can honestly discuss societal problems and find tangible solutions. We should be angry but like Chimamanda Adichie said, anger has a long history of bringing about positive changes.

Please channel your anger in bringing about true justice and positive changes. Thank You

Love, Peace and Spaghetti 🍷✌️