I’m going to tell you a story. And hold tight, because this is an emotional one.

The brother came into his DM like a thief in the night
The brother said he needed some help
Things were tight and love was scarce
The brother said he was a Christian brother
The brother played the Jesus card
He told the brother to send his bank account details
The brother said

he would prefer that they meet
Silver and gold can come later
Can you please meet with me?
He told the Brother when and where
He sent the brother transport fare
They met and talked like brothers
The brother was quite smart
What he got when he was leaving
was ten times what he

would have gotten had they not met
The brother became a regular visitor
to his office
They would sit and talk about life and the gospel
The brother's situation was quite pathetic
No job, no money, nothing to show for his almost forty years of existence
He said he once had a job

and even bought a car
But when the wind and the waves came, he sold all he could to keep body and soul together
After about three months after meeting the brother
His younger sister came to the office to see him
She was a software engineer working with a blue-chip company abroad

Just as he was seeing his sister off
The brother arrived with a friend
The brother said he had a visitor from out of state and wanted to ensure that his visitor met his new friend in Christ
He knew what the brother wanted to do
Yet, he smiled and said hello and shook hands with

Good morning I want to tell you a story

Once upon a time I spent all week getting ridiculous messages from men calling me their "little friend," telling me they got publicly humiliated by their girlfriend in front of a girl they thought was me, telling me I was disrespectful...

...to a man named Aubrey Huff for responding to a tweet that literally said all old and fat people should just die, calling me "beautifull..."

yada yada yada men are trash. We know that.

But then

Then it seemed my fortune was about to change.

Enter mommyheather.

mommyheather seemed like the kind of woman you want around. She didn't want naked photos, she just wanted to talk.

Hey, it's a pandemic. We're all a little bored.

Early on, I thought I blew it. I was too enthusiastic about this covid vaccine....

How I came to play the bagpipes

A story... and a thread

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Melodie. She liked music. In fact, she liked music so much that she made it her job! She connected with many people because of her abilities, and had many opportunities to obtain, play with, and try out many different instruments.

When Melodie was very young, she began collecting musical instruments. A flute here, a clarinet there, six trombones here, an accordion there, and the list goes on and on. As she got older, her collection grew. She got married, and her husband had his own collection as well.

Melodie developed many unlikely friends. Her personality was such that she could make friends with and talk to almost anyone. One day she made friends with a boy who played the bagpipes. He told her many wonderful stories of highland games and competitions. This did two things,

First of all, it made Melodie question whether or not the "mutt" of her father's heritage was at all Scottish in origin, but it also made her consider what playing the bagpipes must be like. Her studies led her to search for her genealogy.

On #CaturdayEve , I was thinking about telling the heartwarming story of the eye-patched curmudgeon who sits around working with a silly sword on his wall and an even sillier cat on his hat.

I doubt anyone would believe it, though. What do you think? Should I try it?

I met the old guy back when he was much younger, over 25 years ago now.

I didn't know then that he was permanent. He was sort of a stray, that I made the mistake of letting in my house and feeding.

You know how that sort of thing goes, right?

I mean, my kid liked him and he showed every indication of wanting to stick around. Next thing I knew, it wasn't just him, but his three kids, too.

Kind of nice actually.

I'm still not certain how it happened, but two more kids showed up. They looked sort of like him and sort of like me. Definitely weird, but they were cute and I let them stay, too.

But then the cats started arriving.

The first time it happened, it seemed reasonable and temporary.

The man came in, soaked from the rain, hunched over and cradling something in his cupped palms.

@antifaBubba Once there was an angry dwarf. His family had died in a bad accident in town and he wanted retribution. The king was the one who ordered the transport of the gold, the gold carried by the horses that ran over his family. So at night he sharpened his axe and waited...

But the king never came to his town and maintaining his home with his job in the mines took a lot so he was never sure how to get to the king at all, much less get his vengeance. He sat long nights by the fire drinking meade and thinking how to get out...

One day the tax man appeared at the town, and took almost everything he had for the king. It was enough. He slashed his way through the caravan, emptying the money onto the road. But it was not enough, so he donned the robes of the tax man and headed to the king...

A dwarf in the king's court would be noticed, and he was unsure about shaving off his beard, but revenge is a dangerous game, so in a river on the way he shaved himself and worked on his child like voice. He would become a squire, or something, get close. He had to...

Years passed, he infiltrated the court as a jester, quietly working in the background making friends in the dark alleys of the king's home. So many were unhappy. He would not have to wait long. He sowed dissent where it wasn't, and fostered the anger of those like him...