Speaking less demonstrates comfort in one’s own skin if coupled with a relaxed demeanour and adds to your sense of mystery.
14 tiny behaviours that make people instantly respect you more
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Speaking less demonstrates comfort in one’s own skin if coupled with a relaxed demeanour and adds to your sense of mystery.
Quick movements and fidgeting make you appear nervous and thus lower status.
Nothing says ‘I’m confident and I am interested in other people’ than holding someone’s gaze, especially for a little longer than might feel comfortable.
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Occasionally say something that needs to be said that no one else is daring to say.
Speak your mind honestly.
Reactive people don’t leave space between a triggering stimulus and their emotional response.
Remain stoic.
How refreshing is it to see someone speaking to someone who is actively attentive?
It is becoming rare.
Instant respect.
You don't always need to be there or respond to that text instantly.
The more scarce anything is the higher its perceived value.
If there was one way to have people fall in love with you, it's to follow your weird.
Allow your quirky, fun side to come out.
Give people the space for you to process what they say properly.
Allow a few extra seconds.
This is rare and will set you apart.
The seemingly superficial can make a huge difference.
Dress well and you will feel better and create an entirely different impression versus looking scruffy.
Talk slower and you will calm down, elevate your perceived status, and garner respect.
Pleasing people does not lead to increased respect.
Instead, be valuable and serve people when it’s appropriate.
Most people are running around giving things to people with expectations tied to their ‘charity.’
Be different.
Grow your tribe by giving value to one person at a time.
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14 tiny behaviours that make people instantly respect you more:
1. Talk less
2. Be relaxed and move slow
3. Hold people's eye
4. Talk boldly
5. Emotional control
6. Be undistracted
7. Be less available
14 tiny behaviours that make people instantly respect you more:
8. Be weird
9. Actually listen
10. Dress well
11. Talk a fraction slower
12. Stop trying to impress
13. Take up more space
14. Give without expectation.
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More from Alex Mathers
More from Principles
Shared a lot of wins publicly in 2021, so it feels appropriate to share the losses just as publicly.
Here are my 10 biggest Ls from 2021 (and what I learned from each one):
Dopamine Addiction
Humans were not made for social media—the dopamine hits are dangerous.
I fell victim.
On several occasions, I found myself constantly refreshing my notifications on a viral thread.
It was gross.
I’m learning to physically force separation to avoid it.
Hustle Culture Fail
I spent the better part of the last decade as a hustle culture aficionado.
Then I burned myself out and was totally incapable of thinking creatively.
I made a change. Now I:
• Work like a lion
• Sleep 8 hours
• Take more walks
My life & work have 10Xed.
Solana Fail
I invested in Solana early and was riding high when it hit $30+ in April—10X+ on my investment.
I sold it and thought I was the next Warren Buffett.
Then it hit $100, $200, & $250—as I stubbornly sat on the sidelines refusing to re-enter.
I am not Warren Buffett.
The Hedonic Treadmill
I tweeted this in May—and then failed to practice what I preached.
Every win felt a bit less exciting. It’s part of our biology, but it was no way to live.
Measure internally, not externally.
Here are my 10 biggest Ls from 2021 (and what I learned from each one):
Dopamine Addiction
Humans were not made for social media—the dopamine hits are dangerous.
I fell victim.
On several occasions, I found myself constantly refreshing my notifications on a viral thread.
It was gross.
I’m learning to physically force separation to avoid it.
Hustle Culture Fail
I spent the better part of the last decade as a hustle culture aficionado.
Then I burned myself out and was totally incapable of thinking creatively.
I made a change. Now I:
• Work like a lion
• Sleep 8 hours
• Take more walks
My life & work have 10Xed.
Solana Fail
I invested in Solana early and was riding high when it hit $30+ in April—10X+ on my investment.
I sold it and thought I was the next Warren Buffett.
Then it hit $100, $200, & $250—as I stubbornly sat on the sidelines refusing to re-enter.
I am not Warren Buffett.
The Hedonic Treadmill
I tweeted this in May—and then failed to practice what I preached.
Every win felt a bit less exciting. It’s part of our biology, but it was no way to live.
Measure internally, not externally.
The Hedonic Treadmill is real.
— Sahil Bloom (@SahilBloom) May 21, 2021
Humans have a tendency to quickly return to a baseline level of happiness after positive events.
Step off the treadmill.
Focus on increasing your happiness baseline, not on the height or frequency of the spikes above it.
