I found myself unable to discuss or see people in a negative light
It was a strange place to be
A whole new realm that isolated me in some way
When I am among people and the topic goes in the direction of Mr. So and So did this evil thing to me or Mrs. Such and such said the

following things about me
I find my skin crawling and my defences up
I don't do this naturally, it just is.
When I am with my team and we're discussing stuff, I dodge all the unnecessary stuff
I don't want to know who is doing that bad thing or who is not performing up to par
I find it nauseating to say the least
Talking ill of people even when it ought to be discussed
A brother caught covid from his girlfriend
They were not married and ought not to be together that way
Someone pointed my attention to it and I felt somehow
Like the person wanted to
force-feed me poison
The person meant well and I should know what is going on but I really couldn't bear the heaviness of such talks
I understand that it is normal for people to share such talks and bond over it
I once worked as a personal assistant to a pastor who will pick a
person and talk about the person with his wife all the way from Lagos to Ibadan and will still chew the person like a bone all the way from Ibadan back to Lagos
He will keep digging out faults and misdeeds like a dog unearthing buried bones
It was a crazy habit I could barely
stand at that time
There was a day the pastor's driver came to my office and told me the pastor picked me as a topic and talked about me all the way from Lagos to his home town in Ekiti and on the trip back to Lagos
I was like Trump to CNN on that trip
The driver said "Oga and
Madam finished you, sir! There was nothing about you they didn't dissect. The driver wanted to keep talking but I shut him down. I don't care even if I was the topic of the discussion. I don't want to talk about those who are talking ill of me. I find myself resenting the driver
for bringing me the information
I had to tell the Holy Spirit to please cleanse my heart of all negative feelings brought about by his words to me towards my former boss and him.
I was once with two friends I love dearly
One of them had a radio studio and the other was a veteran
journalist. Both of them had been cruelly dealt with by a media organization they both worked with at a time
I was there to present a GSW stories show
They both got talking about their plight
How this did that and how that did those
Where and when meetings were held against them
by their former colleagues and how they had been badly betrayed by people
I knew the people they were talking about although I didn't work in the same organization as them
Their words changed how I perceived these people
I disliked that
I don't want your experience with certain
people to taint how I see them or relate with them
I will rather see the best in everybody
I get a lot of feedback about people and to some close associate I am playing the ostrich by simply refusing to hear their version of the evil being done by some other people
I sometimes
feel their need to talk to me and how my shutting them down made them feel
It is indeed human to desire to be listened to but if what you are going to say will denigrate someone else, I really don't want to hear it
If people are ganging up against you - pray
If you are sure the
Holy Spirit was the one that revealed your enemies to you please don't report them to me
I simply don't want the information that will smear someone else or drag them in the mud
I notice Twitter is full of those who thrive on gossip, bad blood, violence, and mental abuse
I have
read several times the claim "I am here for the violence"
I pity people like that
Scavengers like vultures and termites
They feed off dead flesh because they are dead within
I am an eagle, I have all the communication I need in my divine state
I pity also people
who count themselves so important that when a slight is done against them it destabilizes them easily
Someone wrote something about me recently, many queued up on my timeline expecting a response
Some had the boldness to tag me and draw my attention to it
I blocked all those who
tagged me and those who brought it to me on Whatsapp were told to go and get a job!
I have trained my senses not to feed off the putrid nature of the carnal man
If I have to speak on an issue, I am the one with the narrative and the heart
I will never be caught reacting to any
There is something called ignore
There is something called taking a High ground
I believe believers will do well to practice the higher life in bliss than rolling in the mud and dragging others in it
Last Sunday a brother came to me and said "I heard some things about you
that I knew weren't true. I know they were not true because I know you. The person who told me those things is close to both of us but I wanted to speak to you directly so as to find out if those things are true
I stopped him at that point
I told him I don't want to hear anything
the other party said.
I love the other person and that's all that matters
Anybody can take offense at any time
It is your right to be offended
Your offense does not have to generate offense in me
Love made me
Love is my default
I only see others through the lens of love

@threadreaderapp unroll

More from Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo

More from Life

1/ Here’s a list of conversational frameworks I’ve picked up that have been helpful.

Please add your own.

2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you

3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.

“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”

“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”

4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:

“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”

“What’s end-game here?”

“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”

5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:

“What would the best version of yourself do”?
THREAD: 12 Things Everyone Should Know About IQ

1. IQ is one of the most heritable psychological traits – that is, individual differences in IQ are strongly associated with individual differences in genes (at least in fairly typical modern environments). https://t.co/3XxzW9bxLE

2. The heritability of IQ *increases* from childhood to adulthood. Meanwhile, the effect of the shared environment largely fades away. In other words, when it comes to IQ, nature becomes more important as we get older, nurture less.

3. IQ scores have been increasing for the last century or so, a phenomenon known as the Flynn effect. https://t.co/sCZvCst3hw (N ≈ 4 million)

(Note that the Flynn effect shows that IQ isn't 100% genetic; it doesn't show that it's 100% environmental.)

4. IQ predicts many important real world outcomes.

For example, though far from perfect, IQ is the single-best predictor of job performance we have – much better than Emotional Intelligence, the Big Five, Grit, etc. https://t.co/rKUgKDAAVx https://t.co/DWbVI8QSU3

5. Higher IQ is associated with a lower risk of death from most causes, including cardiovascular disease, respiratory disease, most forms of cancer, homicide, suicide, and accident. https://t.co/PJjGNyeQRA (N = 728,160)

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