I found myself unable to discuss or see people in a negative light
It was a strange place to be
A whole new realm that isolated me in some way
When I am among people and the topic goes in the direction of Mr. So and So did this evil thing to me or Mrs. Such and such said the

following things about me
I find my skin crawling and my defences up
I don't do this naturally, it just is.
When I am with my team and we're discussing stuff, I dodge all the unnecessary stuff
I don't want to know who is doing that bad thing or who is not performing up to par
I find it nauseating to say the least
Talking ill of people even when it ought to be discussed
A brother caught covid from his girlfriend
They were not married and ought not to be together that way
Someone pointed my attention to it and I felt somehow
Like the person wanted to
force-feed me poison
The person meant well and I should know what is going on but I really couldn't bear the heaviness of such talks
I understand that it is normal for people to share such talks and bond over it
I once worked as a personal assistant to a pastor who will pick a
person and talk about the person with his wife all the way from Lagos to Ibadan and will still chew the person like a bone all the way from Ibadan back to Lagos
He will keep digging out faults and misdeeds like a dog unearthing buried bones
It was a crazy habit I could barely
stand at that time
There was a day the pastor's driver came to my office and told me the pastor picked me as a topic and talked about me all the way from Lagos to his home town in Ekiti and on the trip back to Lagos
I was like Trump to CNN on that trip
The driver said "Oga and
Madam finished you, sir! There was nothing about you they didn't dissect. The driver wanted to keep talking but I shut him down. I don't care even if I was the topic of the discussion. I don't want to talk about those who are talking ill of me. I find myself resenting the driver
for bringing me the information
I had to tell the Holy Spirit to please cleanse my heart of all negative feelings brought about by his words to me towards my former boss and him.
I was once with two friends I love dearly
One of them had a radio studio and the other was a veteran
journalist. Both of them had been cruelly dealt with by a media organization they both worked with at a time
I was there to present a GSW stories show
They both got talking about their plight
How this did that and how that did those
Where and when meetings were held against them
by their former colleagues and how they had been badly betrayed by people
I knew the people they were talking about although I didn't work in the same organization as them
Their words changed how I perceived these people
I disliked that
I don't want your experience with certain
people to taint how I see them or relate with them
I will rather see the best in everybody
I get a lot of feedback about people and to some close associate I am playing the ostrich by simply refusing to hear their version of the evil being done by some other people
I sometimes
feel their need to talk to me and how my shutting them down made them feel
It is indeed human to desire to be listened to but if what you are going to say will denigrate someone else, I really don't want to hear it
If people are ganging up against you - pray
If you are sure the
Holy Spirit was the one that revealed your enemies to you please don't report them to me
I simply don't want the information that will smear someone else or drag them in the mud
I notice Twitter is full of those who thrive on gossip, bad blood, violence, and mental abuse
I have
read several times the claim "I am here for the violence"
I pity people like that
Scavengers like vultures and termites
Decomposers...
They feed off dead flesh because they are dead within
I am an eagle, I have all the communication I need in my divine state
I pity also people
who count themselves so important that when a slight is done against them it destabilizes them easily
Someone wrote something about me recently, many queued up on my timeline expecting a response
Some had the boldness to tag me and draw my attention to it
I blocked all those who
tagged me and those who brought it to me on Whatsapp were told to go and get a job!
I have trained my senses not to feed off the putrid nature of the carnal man
If I have to speak on an issue, I am the one with the narrative and the heart
I will never be caught reacting to any
issue
There is something called ignore
There is something called taking a High ground
I believe believers will do well to practice the higher life in bliss than rolling in the mud and dragging others in it
Last Sunday a brother came to me and said "I heard some things about you
that I knew weren't true. I know they were not true because I know you. The person who told me those things is close to both of us but I wanted to speak to you directly so as to find out if those things are true
I stopped him at that point
I told him I don't want to hear anything
the other party said.
I love the other person and that's all that matters
Anybody can take offense at any time
It is your right to be offended
Your offense does not have to generate offense in me
Love made me
Love is my default
I only see others through the lens of love

-GSW-
@threadreaderapp unroll

More from Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo

More from Life

“We don’t negotiate salaries” is a negotiation tactic.

Always. No, your company is not an exception.

A tactic I don’t appreciate at all because of how unfairly it penalizes low-leverage, junior employees, and those loyal enough not to question it, but that’s negotiation for you after all. Weaponized information asymmetry.

Listen to Aditya


And by the way, you should never be worried that an offer would be withdrawn if you politely negotiate.

I have seen this happen *extremely* rarely, mostly to women, and anyway is a giant red flag. It suggests you probably didn’t want to work there.

You wish there was no negotiating so it would all be more fair? I feel you, but it’s not happening.

Instead, negotiate hard, use your privilege, and then go and share numbers with your underrepresented and underpaid colleagues. […]
1/“What would need to be true for you to….X”

Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?

A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:

Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.

It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”

Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.

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I'm going to do two history threads on Ethiopia, one on its ancient history, one on its modern story (1800 to today). 🇪🇹

I'll begin with the ancient history ... and it goes way back. Because modern humans - and before that, the ancestors of humans - almost certainly originated in Ethiopia. 🇪🇹 (sub-thread):


The first likely historical reference to Ethiopia is ancient Egyptian records of trade expeditions to the "Land of Punt" in search of gold, ebony, ivory, incense, and wild animals, starting in c 2500 BC 🇪🇹


Ethiopians themselves believe that the Queen of Sheba, who visited Israel's King Solomon in the Bible (c 950 BC), came from Ethiopia (not Yemen, as others believe). Here she is meeting Solomon in a stain-glassed window in Addis Ababa's Holy Trinity Church. 🇪🇹


References to the Queen of Sheba are everywhere in Ethiopia. The national airline's frequent flier miles are even called "ShebaMiles". 🇪🇹