BC LIFE
Saved by @Alex1Powell

The Inner Critic.

Ugh.

Its hard to dislodge the power and influence the IC has over us. Here is a helpful tool:

1. Find at least one other who cares about you and get together.

1/

 2. Have your friend write down the messages your IC tells you as you share it.

3. Then ask her/him to write the adjectives of these messages, ex: 'harsh,' 'unrelenting,' 'condemning.' etc.

So now you have the actual messages on one line and descriptors on the other.

2/
4. Now write the descriptors of God's character and God's posture toward you. Patient, loving, kind etc.

5. What if I were at least as ________ to myself as God is.

3/
We tend to get wigged out by talk of Satan and Spiritual Warfare, but the more I work with people on chronic anxiety, the more convinced I am that our self talk, our IC, the story we tell ourselves about how we MUST be and how the world MUST be is keeping us trapped.

4/
Paul says, 'it is for freedom that Christ has set us free' yet so many are bound by our IC and .the story we tell ourselves.

We give it WAY too much authority, too much real estate in our soul. It has a 'gospel' which is always some form of legalism and condemnation

5/
'You MUST do more' 'you SHOULD know better by now' 'you'll NEVER _______'

In radical contrast to this false 'gospel' is the gospel of Jesus, where we are rooted and established in the Sovereignty and Love of God.

6/
The challenge is we either know this, but can't break out of the bondage or worse yet, our inner critic is such a harsh task master that we project it out onto God and other people to try to get relief from within.

7/
Have you ever been confused when someone thinks you are more harsh and condemning than you are? It might be their IC projecting condemnation onto you and then having projected it, seeing it from you.

The story we tell ourselves is insidious like that.

8/
One thing I learned early about anxiety when I was a chaplain - it blocks our capacity to see reality. We pollute reality with our anxiety. 'This situation requires me to speak' when it actually doesn't, for example.

This person is condemning of me when they're not.

9/
If your view of God sounds a lot like your IC, you have projected your inside pain onto God and are now seeing God through your own self made view.

You are not following the One True God, you're following Zeus or some variation of Zeus.

10/
Relentless, demanding, impossible to appease. All the work and effort is on you.

But the One True God did all the work. Nothing to appease. No earning required.

11/
"Its your kindness which leads us to repentance, Lord."

"This is how we set our hearts at rest in God's presence, for even when our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts and God knows everything."

God trumps your heart. God knows more than you on this matter.

12/
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,a because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

That last one, some of you read it and say, 'great, I must not be made perfect in love.'

And then, 'I must be deficient.'

13/
That's the inner critic. That is modern day legalism. Doing the work inside our soul that only God can do.

The invitation is to relax into the Sovereignty and love of God. Easier tweeted than done.

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It took me many years to reduce the voice of the IC and rejoice in the voice of God. My beginning step was the early exercise of writing the steps. Then when that inner voice would speak, I would choose to believe what God says over what I say.

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An intentional submission to God's authority over my authority.

Many don't experience grace because we are still in charge. That voice of condemnation is you still in charge. The voice that is condemning you now because you're in charge - that voice.

16/
But trusting what God says over what you think IS what walking by faith is. And it is hard. Especially when God's voice is often still and small etc and your IC is relentless and clear and pointed.

But the battle for freedom is worth it.

17/
My prayer is that you would be kind to yourself, at least as kind as God is. Be patient with yourself etc.

And lower your threshold to worship. Worshipping the King is a wonderful displacer of the IC.

Peace of Christ to you today.

18/18

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I've been doing more study on the constant critic(s) that every church leader deals with. Its amazing how a steady group of 2-5 critics can really tax a leader's health and impact them way beyond their numbers. ie, more than 3 feels like 'legion' to a leader.

1/

All vocations face criticism of course.

I wonder if church criticism is unique because:

a) church leaders tend to conflate personal identity and church health more than most.

b) critics falsely think they know about leading a church because they attend a church.

2/

For example, doctors and teachers face criticism. People come into a Doc with diagnosis from Internet etc. But I wonder if attending and serving in a church makes someone more confident that they know when they really don't know.

3/

I've often marveled, and been hurt by how strongly someone has an opinion about something they've had zero training in. They are oblivious to how broad a church is - they think everyone thinks the same.

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One reason they think this is because their phantom mob is usually made up of like minded people. A handful of passionate people agreeing, so they say, 'everyone thinks' but actually it is less than 1% of the church.

5/
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Steve Cuss
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The events of the week have shaken us all. Murray Bowen described 'societal regression.' Anxiety is contagious in any group and a society is one giant interconnected group, so over time, societies become more and more anxious unless the anxiety is displaced.

1/

Displacement requires calm, non reactive leadership at every level and we have lacked that at a federal level, hence the massive escalation of anxiety on the 'system' of our society.

2/

Bowen predicted that as we regress we would no longer be able to listen to each other, we'd become highly reactive, continuing the vicious cycle of catching each others' anxiety and reactivity.

We are there.

3/

But we are not doomed. Especially knowing we have a God who cares.

But it requires calm, aware leadership at every level.

4/

Systems theory often measures anxiety and action through the lens of responsibility and control.

I frame it through the notion of spaces

1. The space inside me

2. The space between us

3. The space between me and God.

5/
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Steve Cuss
Steve Cuss
@stevecusswords
There are 4 spaces in life, 3 we can do something about. We spend too much time and energy focusing on the one that we cannot and ought not try to manage.

1/

1. Space inside me. What is going on in me? How do I know when I am anxious? We all carry a bubbling collective of pressure, pain, assumptions, inner critic etc that can block our awareness of God and distort reality.

2/

2. Space between people. This can be space between me and you or space between others. Ever walked into a room with people and you felt off? You might be picking up the space between others.

Anxiety is contagious and often the most anxious person has the most power.

3/

3. Space between me and God. It is disturbing how often I forget God With Us.

Chronic anxiety seeps through us like that foam insulation. It finds the nooks and crannies and squeezes out our awareness of God.

But it can be quickly displaced with some tools.

4/

4. The space inside them.

This is the space we spend too much time and energy worrying about. If you've ever thought, 'what were they thinking? Why did they do that, Why wouldn't they _____' you're fixated on the one space you cannot manage.

5/
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Steve Cuss
Steve Cuss
@stevecusswords
John says 'perfect love casts out fear.'

Perfect love displaces fear. I think fear can displace our awareness and experience of perfect love. It cannot displace God's love, but it sure can displace our awareness of it.

1/

Knowing you're in anxiety's grip is actually not as easy as we think. We tend to bear down and try harder instead of pausing.

One way to notice it: you are no longer aware of God's presence and God's love.

It could be that your anxiety has displaced your awareness.

2/

Warning Signs:

- you start to think it is all on you/all on your shoulders.
- 'if it is to be, it is up to me.' An anxious statement if ever I heard one.
- An impending feeling of doom or hopelessness.
- Rigid thinking, either-or locked in thinking.
- double binding.

3/

Chronic Anxiety has a 'gospel.'

'it is on you, there is not much you can do, you are not ______ enough, YOU are not enough, there are only bad options, try harder, do more of the same.'

Recognizing Chronic Anxiety's message helps you displace it with the actual Gospel.

4/

Even though we have the Gospel, we often don't access it. We spend most of our time living by our false selves, not by the Gospel. I have been doing this work for decades and I still spend more time living for false self, than I do resting in my identity in Christ.

5/
LIFE
Steve Cuss
Steve Cuss
@stevecusswords
Anxiety resides in 4 spaces:

1. The space inside you
2. The space between you and another
3. The space between others
4. The space inside another.

A powerful de escalation tools is to first locate the anxiety. Where is it?

Often the answer is 'all 4.' Yikes!

1/

Anxiety is contagious, we spread it and escalate it unless we know how to manage it.

This was perhaps my biggest lesson as a trauma chaplain - the very hard work of not catching someone's anxiety.

2/

When I caught it, I was no good to them. I no longer saw what was going on, I was now 'infected' by my own triggers, assumptions, the story I tell myself. I was all wrapped up in myself.

But when I managed my anxiety, I was able to be calm, aware and fully present to them.

3/

Even in the very worst moment of their lives, even if they had me by the shoulders screaming, 'how could God allow this to happen?'

4/

Incidentally, early in chaplaincy, I thought this was an actual question. Because I was anxious, I was more infected by my need to answer than I was to simply be calm and present with them in their pain.

5/
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Lets First start from knowing the cause of this "FEAR" of pulling the trigger.

A traders goes through many phases before becoming Profitable.

The first phase is the " APUN HI BHAGWAN HAI" phase-

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A relationship begins to get stiff when excessive patterns begin to form.

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Get the emotions involved.

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Nothing is wrong with patterns.

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Sure 👇

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2. Too logical is bad.

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1. Too emotional

If a relationship is completely ruled by emotions, then it's too volatile.

You will never reach productivity if you are aimlessly only following each others emotions.

This lifestyle tarnishes any structure for the couple.

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Thread: A personal episode from the past that I feel is very relevant to be shared today, especially for parents of young girls.

I was 18, when my first cousin morphed my face with that of a male school friend in extremely compromising position.

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I was devastated. This was a brother I looked upto. This was the brother I had given my laptop to so he could apply for jobs. And on the same laptop, he made those photographs of me, his younger sister.

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So one day, he confronts my parents, infront of me, with those pictures and shows those photographs, with clear terms - pay him & his wife a fixed amount every month, let them stay at our home or he would leak those pictures everywhere.

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I have now been sick with #longcovid for almost a year—below, some reflections on my convalescence. (1/10)

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