1/
#WhatsYourWhy: Day 2 of 7

Cashier

Them: *ringing up items* “You find everything okay?”
Me: “Yup.”
Them: “I like your hair.”
Me: “Hey—thanks.”
Them: *nods while continuing to swipe items*

*beep-beep-beep*

Them: “Is that highlights? Or . . . .“
Me: “Grey?”

*laughter*

2/
Me: “Yup. I’m openly grey.”

*laughter*

Them: “Well, it’s working for you.”
Me: “’Preciate that.”

*beep-beep-beep*

Me: “Can I ask you a question since you got all up in my grey-hair business?”

*laughter*

Me: “You getting the #COVIDVaccine when it’s offered to you?”
3/
Them: *raises eyebrows*
Me: “Ha ha ha that’s not a answer.”

*laughter*

Them: “Wait--you a doctor or something?”
Me: *patting my head* “One with grey hair, yes.”
Them: *laughing* “You funny. But nah, doc. I’m cool on that vaccine.”

“Cool on” the vaccine. Hmmm.
4/
Being “cool on” something means it’s something or someone you prefer not to interact with for various reasons.

Sometimes big.
Sometimes small.

Example:

Friend: “I didn’t love #Bridgerton.”
Me: “WHAAAAAT?”
Friend: “Yeah. But I’m cool on most period shows.”
Me: “Aah. Ok.”
5/
Usually, you don’t ask someone why they’re cool on something (or especially someone.) It’s kind of an unwritten rule. Unless, of course, you’re me.

Ha.

Me: “Yeah? Why you cool on it?”
Them: *shakes head*
Me: “Hmm.”
Them: “It’s no point.”

No point?

*beep-beep-beep*
6/
I tried to activate my ApplePay and forgot that my mask impeded face recognition.

Me: *looking up* “Do you mind me asking why you feel that way?”
Them: “’Cause now they got that super-COVID in England that’s here now.” *shaking head* “Man, that shot not even gon’ work.”
7/
Me: “I hear you. But you know the thing about the vaccines is that they help you attack those spikes on the outside of the virus. And the new strains just have spikes that are more . . . umm. . .gangster.”
Them: *looking up* “Wait what, doc?”

*laughter*
8/
Me: “You ever seen the pictures of COVID?”
Them: “With those things that look like Bantu knots?”
Me: “Bantu knots?! Haaaa OMG yes!"

*laughter*

Me: "Okay, those are the spike things that the vaccine helps you fight. And the vaccines still get them even on the new strains.”
9/
Them: “That’s all too much. I’m good.”
Me: “But my point is they work against the remix variants.”
Them: *pausing* “But I heard the SuperCOVID gets you sicker.”
Me: “You mean the new ones?”
Them: *nods*
Me: “Nah. It just passes to folks easier.”
Them: *thinking*

*silence*
10/
Me: “I got the shot.”

They froze and squinted at me.

Them: “Ok. So tell the truth. Did you feel bad when you got it?”
Me: *shrugs* “Real talk? My arm felt like shit for 2 days. And I hear your whole body hurts for a couple of days after the 2nd dose.”
11/
Them: “You HEAR? Mane, you ain’t even get both shots yet?”
Me: “Not yet.”

I punched in my PIN.

Me: “But I will. I'll take that over what COVID can do.”
Them: "Hmm."

They handed me a receipt.

Me: “I hope you’ll think more about taking a vaccine when you get a chance.”
12/
Me: *gathering bags* “Thanks, friend.”

*waving*

Them: “Hey—if I did, where would I even get it?”
Me: *stopping* “The health department, a pharmacy, a lot of places really. If you live around here, you can come to Grady where I work.”
Them: “I’m gon’ pray on it.”

Bet.
13/
Concern about the new variants of #COVID19.
Scared the #COVIDVaccine won’t work against it.
Wondering about side effects.
Not sure about the logistics.

This was their why.

Theirs.

You know what? I’m gon’ pray on it, too.

#BlackWhysMatter

More from For later read

I should mention, this is why I keep talking about this. Because I know so many people who legally CAN'T.

How do I know they have NDAs, if they can't talk legally about them? Because they trusted me with their secrets... after I said something. That's how they knew I was safe.


Some of the people who have reached out to me privately have been sitting with the pain of what happened to them and the regret that they signed for YEARS. But at the time, it didn't seem like they had any other option BUT to sign.

I do not blame *anyone* for signing an NDA, especially when it's attached to a financial lifeline. When you feel like your family's wellbeing is at stake, you'll do anything -- even sign away your own voice -- to provide for them. That's not a "choice"; that's survival.

And yes, many of the people whose stories I now know were pressured into signing an NDA by my husband's ex-employer. Some of whom I *never* would have guessed. People I thought "left well." Turns out, they've just been *very* good at abiding by the terms of their NDA.

(And others who have reached out had similar experiences with other Christian orgs. Turns out abuse, and the use of NDAs to cover up that abuse, is rampant in a LOT of places.)

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