This is the gospel according to Luke. And these are the generations; no-one begat Anakin, who was slain by Vader; Vader begat Luke and Leia, and Leia begat Ben known as Kylo.

And lo, red five appeared into the rebels, saying unto them, I come with great plans. But many bothans died to bring us this information.
And three imperials came from the east unto the spaceport, saying, where are they that bear the designs of our battle station? seek ye them, tear these ships apart, and find me those plans.
And they sought the plans from the droids, but these were not the droids which they sought, and they went about their business.
It came to pass that Po and Rey came to the starport, but there was no room.
And they said to each other, we must depart unto Hoth, for surely we shall find a white Christmas there. And they spake to smugglers one to another, and fled. But Greedo shot first.
When they had come unto Hoth, they found shepdroids, tending a flock of taun-tauns.
And they gathered together with the shepdroids and hid the plans under a porg, so that the imperials could not find it.
And the wisest magus amongst the imperials became wroth, and he found their lack of faith disturbing.

More from Culture

@bellingcat's attempt in their new book, published by
@BloomsburyBooks, to coverup the @OPCW #Douma controversy, promote US and UK gov. war narratives, and whitewash fraudulent conduct within the OPCW, is an exercise in deception through omission. @BloomsburyPub @Tim_Hayward_


1) 2000 words are devoted to the OPCW controversy regarding the alleged chemical weapon attack in #Douma, Syria in 2018 but critical material is omitted from the book. Reading it, one would never know the following:

2) That the controversy started when the original interim report, drafted and agreed by Douma inspection team members, was secretly modified by an unknown OPCW person who had manipulated the findings to suggest an attack had occurred. https://t.co/QtAAyH9WyX… @RobertF40396660


3) This act of attempted deception was only derailed because an inspector discovered the secret changes. The manipulations were reported by @ClarkeMicah
and can be readily observed in documents now available https://t.co/2BUNlD8ZUv….

4) @bellingcat's book also makes no mention of the @couragefoundation panel, attended by the @opcw's first Director General, Jose Bustani, at which an OPCW official detailed key procedural irregularities and scientific flaws with the Final Douma Report:

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