Big Jason is just sitting in the office kitchen, stirring a cold cup of coffee and staring out the window. He's been like that for 35 minutes.
Sometimes he mutters things like "we're the party of fiscal responsibility" or "who else can we fire"
We're gonna try and help
#ableg

We sent in ol' Miranda, and she tried to tell him that the worst of our scandals is behind us, but he didn't seem to hear her.
We tried to send in ol' Adriana, but she refused, saying that she brings no value by visiting him. No one could disagree!
We sent in Really Big Jason, who told Big Jason that yes there have been a lot of rumours about our incompetence, but that we resolved 0.02% of them. That didn't seem to help.
Ol' Leela went in to try and talk some sense into him but it backfired. Now she's sitting behind him repeating every thing he says and then drawing emojis in the dust on the table.
We tried to send in ol' Tany, but we couldn't find him.
Ol' Grant gave it his best shot, but he came out carrying a chair leg. We said "why did you cut off one of the legs of his chair?!" and ol' Grant just shouted "RED TAPE REDUCTION" and now he's outside painting over the handicapped parking signs. He's great.
We sent in ol' Rick, and we thought we had a winner for a moment! Big Jason lifted his head, and a little smile played over his face, and he look ol' Rick right in the eye and he said "who the f*ck are you?".
Now Rick's gone skating.
We tried to send in Aloha Allard but she swore she'd been in there the whole time.
We tried to push Wee Doug in there, but he refused to go in unless ol' Matt prepared him a bowl of Courage to drink first.
He's been in there for an hour and a half.

We're debating sending in ol' Sonya, but while we want to support Big Jason, we also need him to stay in the province.
We asked Shandy to help, but he said Big Jason was making his own decisions on "crying softly in the kitchen" and then said "Hinshaw told him to do it so it's all her fault" then turned to leave but he turned all the way around so then he was facing the same way again.
Ol' Drew said that he'd set him straight and sauntered in, and ol' Vic's heart leapt but then Drew shouted "DRAAAAAINAGE YOU BOY!! IF YOU HAVE ALT-RIGHT CRONIES AND I HAVE ALT-RIGHT CRONIES, MY PANDERING REACHES ACROSS ALBERTA AND I DRINK YOUR ALT-RIGHT CRONIES! I DRINK THEM UP!"
We sent in some kid I have literally never seen before who said his name was Mickey. He said "I've got that report you asked for and my constituents need some help"
Big Jason just shook his head;
With an attitude like that I'm pretty sure Mickey is an NDP plant.
Ol' Jackie said she's "disappointed, but very happy to have a Premier who has listened to Albertans" and then said "now turn the page".

She's staring at us and miming closing a book, what do we do?

SHE KEEPS DOING IT

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Oh my Goodness!!!

I might have a panic attack due to excitement!!

Read this thread to the end...I just had an epiphany and my mind is blown. Actually, more than blown. More like OBLITERATED! This is the thing! This is the thing that will blow the entire thing out of the water!


Has this man been concealing his true identity?

Is this man a supposed 'dead' Seal Team Six soldier?

Witness protection to be kept safe until the right moment when all will be revealed?!

Who ELSE is alive that may have faked their death/gone into witness protection?


Were "golden tickets" inside the envelopes??


Are these "golden tickets" going to lead to their ultimate undoing?

Review crumbs on the board re: 'gold'.


#SEALTeam6 Trump re-tweeted this.
I’m torn on how to approach the idea of luck. I’m the first to admit that I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. To be born into a prosperous American family in 1960 with smart parents is to start life on third base. The odds against my very existence are astronomical.


I’ve always felt that the luckiest people I know had a talent for recognizing circumstances, not of their own making, that were conducive to a favorable outcome and their ability to quickly take advantage of them.

In other words, dumb luck was just that, it required no awareness on the person’s part, whereas “smart” luck involved awareness followed by action before the circumstances changed.

So, was I “lucky” to be born when I was—nothing I had any control over—and that I came of age just as huge databases and computers were advancing to the point where I could use those tools to write “What Works on Wall Street?” Absolutely.

Was I lucky to start my stock market investments near the peak of interest rates which allowed me to spend the majority of my adult life in a falling rate environment? Yup.