Big Jason is just sitting in the office kitchen, stirring a cold cup of coffee and staring out the window. He's been like that for 35 minutes.
Sometimes he mutters things like "we're the party of fiscal responsibility" or "who else can we fire"
We're gonna try and help
#ableg

We sent in ol' Miranda, and she tried to tell him that the worst of our scandals is behind us, but he didn't seem to hear her.
We tried to send in ol' Adriana, but she refused, saying that she brings no value by visiting him. No one could disagree!
We sent in Really Big Jason, who told Big Jason that yes there have been a lot of rumours about our incompetence, but that we resolved 0.02% of them. That didn't seem to help.
Ol' Leela went in to try and talk some sense into him but it backfired. Now she's sitting behind him repeating every thing he says and then drawing emojis in the dust on the table.
We tried to send in ol' Tany, but we couldn't find him.
Ol' Grant gave it his best shot, but he came out carrying a chair leg. We said "why did you cut off one of the legs of his chair?!" and ol' Grant just shouted "RED TAPE REDUCTION" and now he's outside painting over the handicapped parking signs. He's great.
We sent in ol' Rick, and we thought we had a winner for a moment! Big Jason lifted his head, and a little smile played over his face, and he look ol' Rick right in the eye and he said "who the f*ck are you?".
Now Rick's gone skating.
We tried to send in Aloha Allard but she swore she'd been in there the whole time.
We tried to push Wee Doug in there, but he refused to go in unless ol' Matt prepared him a bowl of Courage to drink first.
He's been in there for an hour and a half.

We're debating sending in ol' Sonya, but while we want to support Big Jason, we also need him to stay in the province.
We asked Shandy to help, but he said Big Jason was making his own decisions on "crying softly in the kitchen" and then said "Hinshaw told him to do it so it's all her fault" then turned to leave but he turned all the way around so then he was facing the same way again.
Ol' Drew said that he'd set him straight and sauntered in, and ol' Vic's heart leapt but then Drew shouted "DRAAAAAINAGE YOU BOY!! IF YOU HAVE ALT-RIGHT CRONIES AND I HAVE ALT-RIGHT CRONIES, MY PANDERING REACHES ACROSS ALBERTA AND I DRINK YOUR ALT-RIGHT CRONIES! I DRINK THEM UP!"
We sent in some kid I have literally never seen before who said his name was Mickey. He said "I've got that report you asked for and my constituents need some help"
Big Jason just shook his head;
With an attitude like that I'm pretty sure Mickey is an NDP plant.
Ol' Jackie said she's "disappointed, but very happy to have a Premier who has listened to Albertans" and then said "now turn the page".

She's staring at us and miming closing a book, what do we do?

SHE KEEPS DOING IT

More from Business

Introducing "The Balloon Effect"

Many businesses & creators have experienced a similar pattern of success.

From @MrBeastYT and @MorningBrew to @oatly and @Rovio.

Let's break down what "The Balloon Effect" is and examples of it in real life.

Keep reading 👇


1/ What is "The Balloon Effect"?

It is a particular pattern of growth.

It is not Instagram's growth trajectory.

It is not
https://t.co/5axsTUKek6's growth trajectory.

"The Balloon Effect" is defined by several years of hard work & grit complemented by slow, linear growth.

2/ And then one day, one month, or one quarter...everything changes.

A business hits a tipping point and its trajectory shifts entirely.

Gradual growth turns to exponential growth & your brand and your size explode.

Like a step function.

3/ Now, you're probably wondering.

Why is it called "The Balloon Effect"?

Because filling/popping a water balloon follows the exact pattern I just described (and so many businesses experience).

Long unsexy slog 👉 Exponential tipping point.

4/ Initially, you turn on the faucet & water takes up space in the empty balloon.

Through effort you open the faucet, yet the results are unexciting.

But it's what must be done for water (or growth) to happen at all.

It's not sexy, but it's necessary.

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