I have a confession to make to the community. This may be a long thread and I absolutely hope that it is read and processed and taken with the seriousness and consideration its contents demand.

During the very early hours of Monday morning, at the unhoused camp at 29th & Arkins, there was an incident in an RV that was parked on the side of the road. Said RV had been used through the night by my then-AG as a base of sorts and for warmth between patrols and preparations.
Our objective had been to provide support to the unhoused there while bolstering the defences of the camp in the leadup to the sweep—and this did happen without incident or deficiency, albeit there were not enough people present come the sweep itself to deter DPD.
However, during downtime in the RV, I engaged sexually with others in the AG both visibly and opportunistically after flirtatious ideas were thrown out with regards to treating the RV as a sort of party van, despite its purpose as a supply point for protestors and the unhoused.
Further, this occurred in the presence of a resting, non-participating, and non-consenting comrade. I and the others made no attempts to seek their consent. Further, predatory things were said *about* this comrade in a conversation between myself and another of the participants.
When informed of their distress later, I reached out to this comrade to apologise for my actions. I was told by them to await their contact.

I violated this as well by replying to one of their tweets, further exacerbating their distress.
... I speak for myself and myself only; how the others involved choose to address this is their prerogative and theirs alone.

I do not have anything to offer in defence. I will not attempt to find something.
First, this incident occurred during the leadup to a sweep of an unhoused encampment—the imminent uprooting and destruction of all the lives therein barring any sort of deterrence or damage control.
That I used such a time for this kind of pleasure is selfish injustice in itself and I hold myself to complete account for it.

To say that I am ashamed does not begin to cover it.
This issue did not so much as occur to me. The only honest conclusion to make is that I allowed my impulses to get the better of me and ceased to consider the implications and results of my actions all together. It was derelict and inconsiderate.
Further, I neglected and sexually abused a fellow comrade by violating their boundaries. I paid no sufficient thought to they, their feelings, or the pain they were experiencing. I thought only of myself. In no valid form of existence and perception is this okay or excusable.
I have longstanding, unaddressed traumas, neurodivergences, and insecurities of my own what directly contributed to this which I have consistently failed to address concretely and meaningfully. They are not excuses for my actions; rather, they are my responsibility to manage.
To that end, I have reached out to two therapists: one who specialises in one-on-one sessions and one who provides consultation for making organisational spaces justice-oriented and non-oppressive and can have sessions with groups of people.
I and at least one of the other participants will submit to the latter as a first step towards rehabilitation and accountability. The others involved are welcome and encouraged to attend as well. You know who you are.
In the mean time, I have re-evaluated and will continue to re-evaluate my place in this movement. I have a responsibility to do whatever it takes not only to continue contributing, but to do so responsibly and ethically.
That said, I am truly, *deeply* sorry to the community, the AG's of which I have been a part in past and present, my friends and mutuals, and to the comrade I hurt so badly. I have made a mockery of you all and dishonoured the Gods and my ancestors.
That said, I understand and accept if some spaces in this movement and community are no longer welcome to me. I submit to you all in search not of forgiveness, but justice—if there is any to be had.

That's all. Thank you for listening.

More from All

You May Also Like

I like this heuristic, and have a few which are similar in intent to it:


Hiring efficiency:

How long does it take, measured from initial expression of interest through offer of employment signed, for a typical candidate cold inbounding to the company?

What is the *theoretical minimum* for *any* candidate?

How long does it take, as a developer newly hired at the company:

* To get a fully credentialed machine issued to you
* To get a fully functional development environment on that machine which could push code to production immediately
* To solo ship one material quanta of work

How long does it take, from first idea floated to "It's on the Internet", to create a piece of marketing collateral.

(For bonus points: break down by ambitiousness / form factor.)

How many people have to say yes to do something which is clearly worth doing which costs $5,000 / $15,000 / $250,000 and has never been done before.