i don't believe i have an obligation to "process" or "resolve" "trauma"

i think as long as you can get away with it, you get to "keep" your trauma. you earned it

my rule is like this: if i fulfil my social obligations and get along with everyone enough, i get to keep the shadows, the anger, the spite, all this nasty stuff i hide in the corner
if i'm a mean asshole and do mean asshole things and hurt people or whatever then maybe you will drug me or lock me up for society's sake, thats fair
but if i work with my fucked up parts enough that they don't manifest in "pathological" or "antisocial" ways i cant control, then i feel like i've justified its existence enough that society doesn't have anything on me anymore
like, legally, so to speak. they cant prosecute me. im free to go, see
i have hurt i've carried around since i was a child and i'll continue carrying that hurt, for its sake. because i still identify with it.

i still believe what i felt was justified the way i did then, and i will continue to fight for its right to exist within me, in that form
yes, i *want* to carry this hurt with me instead of "going to therapy". no, i do not want to "work on myself" or "become a better person"

i get to have this. i wont let you take this away from me. it's mine. it's me
fuck this shit right here. its a trap and i can smell it from here
https://t.co/SuS7VGDeIt

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1/“What would need to be true for you to….X”

Why is this the most powerful question you can ask when attempting to reach an agreement with another human being or organization?

A thread, co-written by @deanmbrody:


2/ First, “X” could be lots of things. Examples: What would need to be true for you to

- “Feel it's in our best interest for me to be CMO"
- “Feel that we’re in a good place as a company”
- “Feel that we’re on the same page”
- “Feel that we both got what we wanted from this deal

3/ Normally, we aren’t that direct. Example from startup/VC land:

Founders leave VC meetings thinking that every VC will invest, but they rarely do.

Worse over, the founders don’t know what they need to do in order to be fundable.

4/ So why should you ask the magic Q?

To get clarity.

You want to know where you stand, and what it takes to get what you want in a way that also gets them what they want.

It also holds them (mentally) accountable once the thing they need becomes true.

5/ Staying in the context of soliciting investors, the question is “what would need to be true for you to want to invest (or partner with us on this journey, etc)?”

Multiple responses to this question are likely to deliver a positive result.