For us to get through what needs to happen next, our society and we as individuals need to learn how to accept feedback that our behavior needs change and sit with the discomfort of being wrong.
I see over and over again that people are so uncomfortable with this idea that they
The problem is that this mechanism provides cover for abusers and gives them the space to abuse. It discourages people from coming forward.
But there is a moment between the complaint and the response where a breath
One deep breath and then listen to the person making the complaint. Hear what they are saying. Treat it as though it is a real thing. Be there with them in their discomfort. Don't speak in ways that protect in instead
It is this one moment from taking in the complaint & reacting
And this is where we are as a country today.
We are trying to have discourse about the abuses but all we are