#Twitterstory!!! I'm bored!!

My friend went to visit her family & called me breathlessly in the middle of the night!

Beth: OH MY GOSH I HAD THE SCARIEST DREAM! I WOKE UP SCREAMING!!

Me: What was it?!

Beth: I was driving the Buick Riviera down a country road...
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Beth: It's dark-I can't see-up ahead there is something in the road-I'm going too fast to stop-I'm getting really scared and suddenly-just as I am about to run over it-(She starts getting loud, she is scared and unnerved!!) IT STANDS UP!! (She screams-totally freaking out)
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OH MY GOD!!! I think!!! What horrible terrible thing did my friend see in this nightmare that has her calling me up in near hysterics!!?!!

Me: (now almost yelling myself!) What was it??!!!

Beth: IT WAS SO SCARY! (she squeals)

Me: WHAT???!!

Beth: A PINECONE!!!
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Me: A pinecone?

Beth: It was terrible! It was so awful!! It stood up right in front of the car in the headlights, and I SCREAMED and then it opened its eyes and threw up its arms and screamed at me with little teeth and I RAN OVER IT!!!!

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I couldn't stop laughing... I was picking her up at the airport the next night, so I spent the entire day driving around Los Angeles looking for pine cones. I glued google eyes, arms and gnashing teeth on them and hid them all over her apartment. Hidden inside everything.
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I picked her up at the airport that night and she told me all about her horrible dream and we were in hysterics laughing. She lived across the courtyard from me, she headed up. A few minutes later there was a blood curdling scream.

That was followed by...
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A second scream as she found the pine cone hiding behind her (rotary) phone.

My friend, by the way, was the sweetest nicest person I'd ever met. She never cursed.

"Ring Ring" said my phone.

Through the window I heard another scream.

#&#^#*#$#*#&!!!!" Said my phone...
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So tonight I was about to write my friend a Christmas card... and decided instead to make her one....

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Which led to me making her a calendar...
Which I hope she likes...
Because, for several years, she would stumble upon a hidden pine cone and call me all mad. Maybe this will make up for that?
#PineConeChristmas
@threadreaderapp unroll

More from Life

TW: suicidal ideation.

At the darkest days of the abuse I was being subjected to I decided to attend a conference for women in Los Angeles. I convinced my mother in law to pay for it because I couldn’t afford it. @ChristineCaine was preaching. I was desperate...
1/


I wanted to die, I didn’t see a way out and I had tried everything. I imagined many ways to die daily. The most recurring one was throwing my car down a bridge I had to drive over every day. I never did it because my kids were in the car and I was afraid one of them would...

2/

survive or I’d kill someone on the way down.

Christine spoke about honoring your pastors even when they weren’t great, she spoke of us expecting too much of pastors and how wrong that was. She said God would use our testimony if we submitted to our pastors.

3/

She said “honor your pastors, God will honor you.” She said more about having disagreed with her pastors but she submitted and God honored her and now she’s blessed. How if they are faithfully serving God, we need to support them and not forfeit what God has for us.

4/

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I got up and went to the bathroom because I couldn’t breath and I felt like I was going to faint if I didn’t scream. I now know I was having a panic attack. I sat on the toilet w/my head between my legs, breathed and wept..
5/

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I hate when I learn something new (to me) & stunning about the Jeff Epstein network (h/t MoodyKnowsNada.)

Where to begin?

So our new Secretary of State Anthony Blinken's stepfather, Samuel Pisar, was "longtime lawyer and confidant of...Robert Maxwell," Ghislaine Maxwell's Dad.


"Pisar was one of the last people to speak to Maxwell, by phone, probably an hour before the chairman of Mirror Group Newspapers fell off his luxury yacht the Lady Ghislaine on 5 November, 1991."
https://t.co/DAEgchNyTP


OK, so that's just a coincidence. Moving on, Anthony Blinken "attended the prestigious Dalton School in New York City"...wait, what? https://t.co/DnE6AvHmJg

Dalton School...Dalton School...rings a

Oh that's right.

The dad of the U.S. Attorney General under both George W. Bush & Donald Trump, William Barr, was headmaster of the Dalton School.

Donald Barr was also quite a


I'm not going to even mention that Blinken's stepdad Sam Pisar's name was in Epstein's "black book."

Lots of names in that book. I mean, for example, Cuomo, Trump, Clinton, Prince Andrew, Bill Cosby, Woody Allen - all in that book, and their reputations are spotless.