"How the Avengers would respond to the Capitol riot" (a thread)

CAPTAIN AMERICA - tells Falcon, "I fought Nazis once before. They're extremely dangerous." They then see the guy scaling the Capitol wall fall into the shrubs. Falcon: "You sure these are the same Nazis?"

IRON MAN - lands by the guy carrying the podium. Says, "Mind if I borrow this?" then tosses it to Hulk, who swings it like a bat at the mob. Guy: "Hey, that's MY podium!" Iron Man: "Actually it's the Speaker's. And technically, it's a lectern." Then punches him through a wall.
BLACK WIDOW - enters hotel room where Jack Dorsey is tied up. Rips duct tape off his mouth. Jack: "I'll do anything you want!" BW: "Disable POTUS's Twitter. NOW!" Jack fumbles with his phone. "Done. Anything else?" BW: "Yeah. Trim your beard for God's sake." *tosses him clippers*
HULK - grabs a selfie stick from one of the guys and beats him over the head with it. Deeming it too small, he grabs another guy's Confederate flag and takes out a whole swath of rioters. He then tosses the flag to Cap, who uses it as a javelin to impale a fleeing Ted Cruz.
HAWKEYE - hears Iron Man in his earpiece say, "Looks like Orange Julius is tweeting from another account." Hawkeye: "On it." He locks in on Trump through the White House window and fires an arrow, knocking the phone out of Trump's hands. Hawkeye: "Damn that felt good."
THOR - comes face to face with the Viking guy. Says defensively, "Pfft. What a stupid outfit." Star-Lord: "He's dressed exactly like you." Thor: "Heh, not likely. I don't wear...rabbit hats." Rocket: "It's a raccoon." Thor: "Whatever. The point is - I do NOT look like him."
(cont'd) Just then, Drax approaches the Viking Guy and casually says, "Hey Thor." Star-Lord shoots Thor a "Told ya so" look. Groot whispers "I am Groot" to Rocket and they both laugh. Thor angrily wields Stormbreaker, and Viking Guy runs off, calling for his mom.
DR. STRANGE - sees Josh Hawley running down the Capitol hall. Strange opens a time portal and Hawley runs straight into it. We see Hawley tumble out into the year 1984. Wong: "Now *that* is Orwellian." Strange: "No, it's not—has *anyone* actually read that book?"
SPIDER-MAN - hears Iron Man in his ear say, “Zip-Tie Guy at 3 o’clock. Why don’t you show him how it’s done, kid?” Peter swings across the Rotunda and spots him. He shoots webs around the guy's hands and ankles, hog-tying him. Then joins the rest of his class on their field trip.
BLACK PANTHER - as rioters chant "Let us in!" at the Capitol door, they're suddenly drowned out by a louder "Yibambe!" chant led by T'Challa. When the two groups converge, one white woman asks if the Jabari "have a permit," and another accuses M'Baku of stealing her cellphone.

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This is NONSENSE. The people who take photos with their books on instagram are known to be voracious readers who graciously take time to review books and recommend them to their followers. Part of their medium is to take elaborate, beautiful photos of books. Die mad, Guardian.


THEY DO READ THEM, YOU JUDGY, RACOON-PICKED TRASH BIN


If you come for Bookstagram, i will fight you.

In appreciation, here are some of my favourite bookstagrams of my books: (photos by lit_nerd37, mybookacademy, bookswrotemystory, and scorpio_books)