Going to write this out, knowing full well that what I am about will make me sound insane, or something I should be sharing with a personal diary or a therapist or something but if I don't get this outside of my body and put it back in the atmosphere, not confined to a page 1/

where it is locked away safe inside ink and a cover of cardboard. I cannot step away, unless I can teleport like Dr Manhattan to Mars, where I am breathing another air, where the world through which I must navigate is not charged with rage and anger 2/
I have long thought but always denied that I am a weird sort of absorber, and today I am just overwhelmed and not coping. I took a long long break, I tried to work through this. It did not help, because it is in the air that I breathe. 3/
This feels like what insanity must feel like, what having insane thoughts feel like, like madness, like paralysis, like one of those people who don aluminum hats to prevent whatever the fuck they're trying to stop from getting in. Am I fucking losing my mind? 4/
I tell myself this cannot be, that this is not real, that I am only imagining it, yet I cannot explain how I know what I know because I should not know or feel these things. What is wrong with me? /
I cant sleep for more than a few hours. I wake and it feels like there is an electric charge running through my body and I can't ground it to dissipate it. I tell myself it is a lie, that it isn't really happening, that it's imagination, not real. And today it wouldnt stay in. /
It was an ancient anger. It was my father's anger, every I saw his eyes. It was the eyes of the man who attacked me as a boy, the same eyes, wild blue circles ringed in white. It was the anger that caused him to put a bullet in his own brain. /
It was rage and fear that had no wear else to go and he sent it into me. I must be insane
You see, I went on a walk, to cope, to get outside of myself, and it was there, on my walk, waiting for me, just under the surface, and it broke loose, I could no longer keep it in. /

More from For later read

The #worldwildlifeday2021 theme is Forests and Livelihoods: Sustaining People and Planet aligning with UN Sustainable Development Goals 1, 12, 13 and 15. So, what are the UN Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) & how can children begin to learn about them & get involved ?

https://t.co/8ICvHxE9QL is easy & fun to follow for our smallest of people #EYFS. Early childhood is the perfect stage to introduce the core concepts of what it means to be a global citizen. For our reception & KS1 children please take a look at this fabulous free resource

https://t.co/tZx8UIS58Q Storytelling is a powerful communications tool and helps children remember lessons and virtues that they will use in everyday life. The idea is to simplify the lessons of the (SDGs) so young children can relate to – and better understand – the SDGs.

For older children here’s a board game that aims to help teach children around the world about the Sustainable Development Goals in a simple and child-friendly way

This is a lovely free book for children to enjoy flicking through themselves https://t.co/ScMbQCfpjl Elyx, the United Nations’ digital ambassador, uses various expressions and actions to help demonstrate the meaning of each Sustainable Development Goal.

You May Also Like