A couple of years ago I promised myself that one day I'll be strong enough to be able to talk about my mental health openly. I've made this my goal. I think this is the day, so here's how I ended up diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 37 - a thread...

In 2017 I reached my rock-bottom. I got back home from Philippines, where I failed to deliver my conference talk due to being a mental train-wreck (for which I'm terribly sorry!). I started having suicidal idealizations and I realized it's time to get help.
It's not that I wanted to end myself, but I would see myself dying in all sorts of ways every-single-day. These are called intrusive thoughts and the ones I had were probably one of the worst ones you can experience.
I started therapy in May 2017 and it was surprisingly easy for me to...just start talking. It was a relief that I could just talk to somebody because I pretty much isolated myself from everybody.
Unfortunately, my therapist didn't want to be specific about my problems and everything was just...too generalized? I don't know how to describe this. I wanted to hear concrete facts eventually, like "you're dealing with X and you should do Y to improve".
Topics that did come up though included depressive moods and lots of anxiety. Also serious anger issues. I hit and kicked so many things that I'm pretty sure I cracked lots of bones w/o even knowing it.
Just before therapy, I also decided to go back to my fav sport: mountain biking. I had a long break from it because...reasons. Dunno. I thought "oh I'm a father now, time to become responsible".
In retrospect, I'm pretty sure lack of sport contributed to my mental collapse significantly. Once I got back to riding and also raised the bar like never before, I felt a truly therapeutic outcome (despite all the accidents lol).
Since then sport has become an integral part of my life and I promised myself to never-ever find any excuses that I should not do this or that because I'm too old or some other bullshit. I just need this to function even if it's dangerous.
My first therapy lasted for over *3 years*. I took a couple of breaks due to my bike accidents but I would always go back once I could, well, walk again. I've no idea how many hours of therapy sessions it was but it was a lot.
During that time I've become obsessed about mental health in general. I started consuming MH-related content daily. Everything from YT videos to audio books.
I did everything I could to figure out what the fuck is wrong me. I needed answers. My weekly chit-chat with my therapist just couldn't cut it and I'd become really frustrated with this.
Once the pandemic started, I put my therapy on hold. First of all I didn't feel like it was helping, and secondly I was sure online chats wouldn't be the same anyway due to potential connection issues and all this crap that comes with online calls.
(how about we solve that problem before finding another planet to colonize lol)
During this break from therapy I realized I need to find a new therapist. So I've found one but I couldn't find the courage to book an appointment. Months were passing and I was getting increasingly angry at myself and then...I got COVID. Fantastic.
COVID had a huge impact on me...in a very positive way! It gave me a big mental energy boost and I became extremely motivated to do something with myself. The first thing I did was booking an appointment with a new therapist.
This was in early November 2020 and once I started my second therapy, everything started to change very quickly.
It's very common to "simply" go through your life with your therapist. My new therapist did this in a very structured way and we went through my entire life, starting with the earliest of my memories until present days.
After 3-4 session, my therapist asked "have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?". This surprised me, because I spent over 3 years educating myself about mental health trying to figure things out for myself, but I always skipped ADHD.
Just like many of you, I thought ADHD is about young boys who are hyper-active and badly misbehave and then they grow out it. I got curious and started digging into it.
After just a couple of hours of diving into YouTube content related to ADHD in adults, I was in state of a shock, to put it mildly. It was still complete chaos in my head but I could already see lots of things that make *perfect sense*. Something that didn't happen to me before.
Then I started listening to audio books about ADHD. "Driven to Distraction", then "Delivered from Distraction" and finally "ADHD 2.0". This was a major breakthrough. It felt like listening to the story of my own life.
I learned about attention dysregulation, emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, problems with focus, extreme procrastination, low self-esteem, anger issues and other fun things. It was all me. It all started to make sense.
In addition to my therapy, I also did a full psychiatric diagnosis and the conclusion was clear: ADHD combined type. This means I have problems with both attention and hyperactivity.
For me, this is only the beginning of the healing process. I'll do my best to keep talking about it and hopefully I'll be able to help other people too. If you got that far, thank you for your...attention (see what I did there?).

Remember you're not alone! Peace ❤️

More from For later read

How I created content in 2020

A thread...

Back in Aug 2016, I started creating content to share my experiences as an entrepreneur.
Over 3 years I had put out 1,200+ hours of content - posting every week without


Little did I know that something I started almost 4 years back would give my life an entirely new direction.

At the end of 2019, my biggest platform was LinkedIn with ~700K followers.

In Jan 2020, I decided to build a team that would help me with the content.

I ran a month long recruitment drive to hire a team of interns.

It comprised 4 detailed rounds - starting with my loved 20 questions, then an assignment, then a WhatsApp video round and finally F2F.

Through 1,200+ applications, I finally selected 6 profiles, starting March.

I am a firm believer in @peterthiel's one task, one person philosophy
So the team was structured such that everyone was responsible for ONLY one task

1. Content ideas
2. Videography
3. Video editing
4. LinkedIn (+TikTok) distribution
5. FB+IG distribution
6. YouTube distribution
There is some valuable analysis in this report, but on the defense front this report is deeply flawed. There are other sections of value in report but, candidly, I don't think it helps us think through critical question of Taiwan defense issues in clear & well-grounded way. 1/


Normally as it might seem churlish to be so critical, but @cfr is so high-profile & the co-authors so distinguished I think it’s key to be clear. If not, people - including in Beijing - could get the wrong idea & this report could do real harm if influential on defense issues. 2/

BLUF: The defense discussion in this report does not engage at the depth needed to add to this critical debate. Accordingly conclusions in report are ill-founded - & in key parts harmful/misleading, esp that US shldnt be prepared defend Taiwan directly (alongside own efforts). 3/

The root of the problem is that report doesn't engage w the real debate on TWN defense issues or, frankly, the facts as knowable in public. Perhaps the most direct proof of this: The citations. There is nothing in the citations to @DeptofDefense China Military Power Report...4/

Nor to vast majority of leading informed sources on this like Ochmanek, the @RANDCorporation Scorecard, @CNAS, etc. This is esp salient b/c co-authors by their own admission have v little insight into contemporary military issues. & both last served in govt in Bush 43. 5/
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#Cardano “Understanding Kamali”

#Cardano will be the underpinning of the emergence of Africa.

To grasp the full weight of the SOLUTIONS #Cardano can provide it is pertinent to read “Understanding Africa” as I will draw directly from the PROBLEMS laid out.


(2/50)

Here is a link if you have not already read


(3/50)

What I will attempt to do here, is to create an immersive world for you to be placed in to grasp the weight and size of problems from the ground level and then take a grass-roots approach at solving them using #Cardano and its technology.

(4/50)

As an investor and community member of #Cardano, this should be extremely important to you as you have a stake (pun intended) in this.

“You are paid in direct proportion to the difficulty of the problems you solve” - @elonmusk

(5/50)

In Africa, agribusiness, more than any other sector, has the potential to reduce poverty and drive economic growth. Agriculture accounts for nearly half of the continent’s gross domestic product and employs 60 percent of the labor force.

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Хајде да направимо мали осврт на случај Мика Алексић .

Алексић је жртва енглеске освете преко Оливере Иванчић .
Мика је одбио да снима филм о блаћењу Срба и мењању историје Срба , иза целокупног пројекта стоји дипломатски кор Британаца у Београду и Оливера Иванчић


Оливера Илинчић је иначе мајка једне од његових ученица .
Која је претила да ће се осветити .

Мика се налази у притвору због наводних оптужби глумице Милене Радуловић да ју је наводно силовао човек од 70 година , са три бајпаса и извађеном простатом пре пет година

Иста персона је и обезбедила финансије за филм преко Беча а филм је требао да се бави животом Десанке Максимовић .
А сетите се и ко је иницирао да се Десанка Максимовић избаци из уџбеника и школства у Србији .

И тако уместо романсиране верзије Десанке Максимовић утицај Британаца

У Србији стави на пиједестал и да се Британци у Србији позитивно афирмишу како би се на тај начин усмерила будућност али и мењао ток историје .
Зато Мика са гнушањем и поносно одбија да снима такав филм тада и почиње хајка и претње која потиче из британских дипломатских кругова

Најгоре од свега што је то Мика Алексић изговорио у присуству високих дипломатских представника , а одговор је био да се све неће на томе завршити и да ће га то скупо коштати .
Нашта им је Мика рекао да је он свој живот проживео и да могу да му раде шта хоће и силно их извређао
"I lied about my basic beliefs in order to keep a prestigious job. Now that it will be zero-cost to me, I have a few things to say."


We know that elite institutions like the one Flier was in (partial) charge of rely on irrelevant status markers like private school education, whiteness, legacy, and ability to charm an old white guy at an interview.

Harvard's discriminatory policies are becoming increasingly well known, across the political spectrum (see, e.g., the recent lawsuit on discrimination against East Asian applications.)

It's refreshing to hear a senior administrator admits to personally opposing policies that attempt to remedy these basic flaws. These are flaws that harm his institution's ability to do cutting-edge research and to serve the public.

Harvard is being eclipsed by institutions that have different ideas about how to run a 21st Century institution. Stanford, for one; the UC system; the "public Ivys".