BC DAKOTAR
Saved by @aki_omura

It took me 11 years to overcome my social anxiety.

If you’re a man struggling with confidence, read this:

 Growing up, I didn’t have self-worth.

My father wasn’t around because he smoked crack instead of raising his sons.

I was constantly taken on drug deals and left in the car for hours at a time.

I was made fun of for being fat.
Every day, I lived in fear of people's opinions of me.

I told myself I wasn’t worth anything. I kept quiet and hid from my problems.

I cared about others’ opinions of me more than my opinion of myself.

I was trapped in the mental prison I built myself.
From ages 9 to 21, I did a shit ton of work on myself.

I started from zero.

It took years of painful application to learn confidence.

I’m not some anon account tweeting quotes from a book.

I did the work.

What I’m about to share with you is what I wish I knew from the start.
Quit porn.

Porn fries your dopamine receptors by rewarding you for unearned pleasure.

Your brain gets used to this…

Then, when it comes time for action that requires effort, your motivation is destroyed.
At 18, I was on the brink of depression.

• I hated my job
• I worked 12 hours a day
• My coworkers were miserable
• I stopped taking care of my health 
• I was isolated from friends and family

I had no purpose.

So, I turned to the only outlet I had:

Pen and paper.
Journaling is constructive thought.

It brings awareness to anxieties running in the background of your mind.

These are “Open Loops.”

When you acknowledge these open loops, you close them in your mind.

The thoughts that feel big in your head look small on paper.
Lift weights.

Although it didn’t directly give me confidence, it formed the foundation to build it.

Exercise develops discipline.

And once you see the results of your hard work…

You’ll realize you can apply it to any endeavor in life.

Including confidence.
Take care of your appearance:

• Shower
• Dress well
• Groom yourself
• Get 7-8 hours of sleep

When you do this, you tell your subconscious you’re someone of value.

You’ll start to adopt the identity and act like it.
Work your way up.

“Just be confident!” is stupid advice.

You don’t go from obese to running marathons the next day.

The same applies to confidence.
I was scared in social situations, so I worked my way up.

At stores, I’d ask how the cashier’s day was.

Over time, I pushed my boundaries.

• I gave compliments
• Started small talk with strangers
• Asked for women’s numbers at cafes

Each time, I built my confidence.
Learn to enjoy being alone.

• Eat out alone
• Go on walks alone
• Go to coffee shops alone

Social anxiety results from placing too much importance on other's opinions.

When you're happy on your own, you're less anxious about impressing others.
Gratitude.

Anxiety is your brain trying to protect you from “harm”.

It does this by searching for the negative in everything.

Gratitude conditions your brain to look for the good.

Every day, write 5 things you’re grateful for.

Over time, this'll become your default state.
Stop identifying with your feelings.

I used to tell myself, “I have anxiety.”

Because of this, the feeling became a part of who I was.

Once I challenged this thought process, I took control of my inner-state.

Your words hold power.

Be conscious of how you talk to yourself.
If you want a deep dive into becoming confident, you can check out the video I made awhile back: https://t.co/k6zSMmKpuR
Aside from that, I hope you got value from this thread.

If you did, give the 1st tweet a retweet to help someone who might struggle with confidence.

Thanks for reading.
https://t.co/nIHAQSJ3sm

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