
So I was in the shower this morning, and started wondering:
Do you think the people implicated in Jeffrey Epstein's book had a general "Dead men tell no tales" slush fund?
Or did they have to separately organize his assignation?

"Same thing as you, looks like."
"Yeah, go ahead. I'll get paid either way."
"Hello boys... Don't worry about it. I did it an hour ago."
"Damn it Scarlet, you're too fast! Leave some jobs for the rest of us, you know?"
"Good to see you, though, I thought you got killed in Barcelona a couple years ago?"
"I need you to do a job: They're in a prison, it needs to happen fast, by the end of the week. Make it look like an accident."
"I've got a job for you... it needs to be fast, Sunday at the latest"
"I'm a bit busy, but I might have time to pencil that in. Lemme guess, a prisoner?"
"well I'll be goddamned."
"Here's the second half of your fee. Well done, and it's a pleasure doing business with you."
"No! I was hired too, but someone else did it first"
But they're laughed out of the room every time.
The NYC Traffic Copter 1 reported heavy traffic on the Brooklyn bridge that night, unusually so.
Sardinia hasn't been an independent nation since the mid-19th century? and all their currency was coins, not banknotes.
All the biological remnants point to the target being there, which everyone knew in the first place.
It's the perfect crime.
You gotta spend the time to recruit them, then years carefully training them, and when they're finally ready for their first real job, they ask "So who's my target?"
and you slide a folder across the table, containing a picture of themselves.
Just imagine!
You've spent the last 5 years in the alternate universe (getting into nearly 3 Zeppelin crashes in the meantime), training someone who looks exactly like your target (but with a goatee) to be the ultimate killer...
What do you do now? All that time, all that money, all that WORK!
No, there's worse things than spending half a decade planning the perfect interdimensional murder only to be too late...
1. alternate versions of yourself have a goatee
2. alternate universes have zeppelins
There are two obvious possibilities, both equally plausible but equally silly: Your alternate has no goatee, or they have two goatees
Our universe has had zeppelins before. Does that mean we were in an alternate universe during those times?
"From this premise, it is not outside the realm of Plausibility that our history between 1900 and 1936 was, in fact, an Alternate History. It would, at least, explain a lot."
"The Goodyear Blimp" is none of those three things, and the reason it's not a Blimp is that it's a Zeppelin!
https://t.co/3zIC8gvz06
Fun stupid fact:
— foone (@Foone) January 8, 2019
The Goodyear Blimp isn't.
I mean, it isn't a Blimp. (It's also not "The" Goodyear Blimp anymore. There's three of them) pic.twitter.com/QMxSx26hbF
Feel free to steal my stupid ideas for your next story about potentially multiversal assassins trying to kill convicted pedophiles in prison before they could spill the beans.
He was a guy who got arrested for sex trafficking and it turned out he'd been hanging out with rich and powerful people for decades, and had many of them in his contacts list.
Officially it was a suicide, but that claim is widely distrusted.
Yeah, no one is surprised he didn't survive.
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https://t.co/nQH8JnewcJ
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https://t.co/7Ikc6CuKHZ
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