I left an abusive relationship in the middle of a pandemic, with two young kids, and no stable income.

I was broken, mentally exhausted, sick and numb as a result of years of verbal and emotional abuse.

Today I am healing, finding joy and becoming whole again. And so can you.

There comes a point when the pain of staying becomes stronger than the fear of leaving. That’s how you know it’s time.

To choose yourself.
To regain control over your life.
To leave.

But it also takes a strong support system. People who won’t ask you to stay and suck it up.

Remember you never know what people are going through behind closed doors.

Don’t ask people to stay in abusive relationships when you have no idea what they are experiencing on a daily basis. Don’t ask them to stay for the children either.

Instead, listen to them.

A lot of women are experiencing abuse without even knowing it. The constant criticism, gaslighting, anger, control, manipulation... it can be so subtle that it becomes « natural ». You don’t question it anymore yet deep inside your self esteem is deteriorating day after day.

If you really want to help, stop asking women « Why don’t you just leave? ». It’s more complex than you’d think. Here are 5 reasons (among others) why people stay in abusive relationships:

1. Fear
2. Financial reasons
3. Loss of self
4. The desire to fix things
5. Children 👇🏽

1/ A LONG LOUD SIGH

genius?
sometimes you are in its minimal spotted light
sometimes
other times you just know you've been touched and you freeze
moved but frozen
like a stranger it moves in
does its work and leaves

2/

maybe it's been a while since you two spoke
when the dead sea still hosted life
the hanging gardens of babylon grew in sinc with the breath of the planet
before the tower of pisa started to lean
or mayan buildings were in ruin

3/

so you write words
any words
they might at least soothe your hurt
hold your heart in a protective shield
you know how crippling unrequited love can be
do you still dream of its hug

genius?

4/

life and love share more than a first letter

(like the first letter you wrote under the veil of inspiration)

they also share good and evil
it's a flip of the coin
either way is fine with you
you'd bathe in holy water or sell your soul

5/

life love passion
somewhere in there -it lives
genius

all of nature a reflection through its transparent figure glows dark
like the shadows live in the radiant illumination of evening rays

so let me speak of us

My problem with the enemy (and I refuse to give them a more nuanced name than that) is nothing ideological.

It's that they're crazy, evil, and a solidly double digits percentage of them are possessed by demons.

And thus, they're categorically unfit for power.

There's nothing I can discuss that'll make them stop being crazy, evil or demon possessed. No amazing argument that'll turn them around.

They just need to be resisted (and preferably actively suppressed) by whatever means are available, as a moral imperative.

They feel the same way about me and anyone I sympathise with and any who claim otherwise are absolutely, 100% take it to the bank because it's as good as gold, lying.

You can't live with these people or negotiate with them. Pretty much the only time I recall them being even remotely tolerable was near the start of Brack Obama's presidential term.

That was an interesting time. "Oh hooray! Bush is finally gone! We can finally have fun again instead of being 24/7 butthurt about him in every available form of media. Hey, do you mind if we do away with Don't Ask, Don't Tell, it's a bit silly, don't you think?"

1/15
This is a long post. Triggered. Our son is 24 years old. He has autism (diagnosed at the age of 19 months, and NOT by Google). Among others, his ability to speak is limited. When he's happy, he jumps up & down & claps his hands, laughing out loudly & like a ball of energy..

2/15
..imagine a supersized energizer bunny. Because he's inarticulate, he uses alternative communication. However, it happens that he just runs out of what he could form out as words in his mouth or utilize a way to communicate his intent. He can grow frustrated at not being

3/15
able to get his meaning across. So, he yells and yells. At times, it isn't easy to stop it even though we have established key words that ought to help him simmer down. If not, I just let him blow that steam off until he cries. He cries like someone has died...howling even

4/15
He cries out of that frustration until he gets tired and stops. It is upsetting and breaks my heart each time.

5/15
I admit that when he was younger, we didn't bring him out as much because we didn't want him to make others uncomfortable. But now, I take the view that this is just wrong. This behavior does not define who he is. He is obedient (the most out of my three kids),

Following a full review of the FHRIC report, I sat down and started cataloguing a list of leading questions I plan to use in our Rogue Leader Academy over the next three weeks, where I plan to focus a big majority of my time on these topics. Intent is to drive dialogue...

...take inventory of ourselves, & convey my intent for areas we will improve on, and how we will do so, on our team, going forward. I share these conversation drivers below thinking others might be willing to expound, &/or that others might find them useful within your own teams.

And yes, I will take every available opportunity to share the article we wrote called "Athena Thriving" that addresses a lot of these questions and could help prime these discussions.

Questions:

What are the linkages between gender discrimination/sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual assault?

How does sexism set conditions for SH/SA?

How do we create a culture/climate within our unit that eliminates gender discrimination/sexism?

Do you understand what micro aggressions are and their role in promoting gender discrimination? How do we correct micro aggressions?

How do we create a climate that values women and other minority populations and makes clear that discrimination will not be tolerated?

So one thing about the use of titles thing is: where I live we all call each other by titles unless we are close friends and family.

Anybody I have a professional relationship with, or a coworker, or a neighbor.

Like this morning I’m headed to the dentist ...

...with a private car driver I have known for a year and a half, and I said buenos días señor Ronny, and he said buenos días señora Abby.

If I just called him Ronny then since we aren’t super close I would be signaling a perceived class status difference also.

For sure anybody who is a professional person I always address with their title as well so as not to be implying a perceived intimacy that isn’t there.

Same if I’m referring to them in absentia, in which case I may refer to even my family and close friends thus, like

“My dentist, la doctora Marleni, is the sister of one of my best friends and the cousin of several others and our families have always been close.”

We also call each other titles out of affection and in a teasing way. I get called “boss” when it’s my turn to take blame or...

...buy the next case of beer.

Also there are titles for tradesfolk. I could be the boss but if there’s a construction guy fixing the walkway or something I’m gonna call him maestro out of respect for his expertise and because that’s his title.

Here's the simple truth that most folk don't believe: traffic isn't inevitable.

We're not stuck with a set number of cars on our roads. We can control more than simply which streets cars can and cannot travel on and who has to suffer congestion.

We can give people the option to leave their car at home for one, some or all of their journeys.

We can build neighbourhoods that allow people to get rid of their cars altogether.

We can free ourselves from the car trap.

How do we do it? By providing alternatives.

Safe, effective, efficient and reliable public transportation.

Safe, direct, protected cycle routes.

Pleasant places to walk.

The next time you go for a drive -- look around you.

Every person you see on a bike, on a bus, or on their feet is someone who made the decision not to use a car.

Because of that choice, there's one less car in the queue ahead of you.

ever wondered about my personal life? no? well let’s pretend (i’ve actually never done one of these before)

1. i have not been a virgin in *checks notes* over a decade

2. 100% sub bottom. my bdsm test results are so bottom that the dom top options do not even register. i have been told i have top energy tho whatever that means

3. i am not picky about who i have sex with as long as they top but ideally someone who could kick my ass (but won’t unless i ask them to bc they’re nice). also caregiver doms. i am actually very transparent LOL

4. receiving any art is a blessing that i will treasure forever 💕

Stop raising your daughters to see marriage as the ultimate decider of their self worth & value in life!

Raise them to know they are worthy, complete and sufficient as they are. And as wonderful as a loving/respectful marriage can be, it does not define the core of who they are!

Stop raising sons as if they are "demigods" who're above accountability. Raise compassionate sons who see themselves and women as equal human beings! Start early to ingrain self control & healthy anger management strategies in your sons. Teach them that GBV is a pubishable crime!

In your umunna & umuada meetings this #DettyDecember, have sessions on Domestic violence and pass clear resolutions. Be the clan that forbids it & declares it an "Nso Ala"; an abomination; alu! Perpetrators should be "barred" from community meetings. Victims encouraged to leave!

#Nwanyịbùífé #Nwabuife As a people, let's revisit our traditional values/pick the positives, instead of swallowing dictates of colonialism/this warped version of Christianity practiced in Nigeria today. Reject "blind submission"/do or die Domestic Violence unions in Igbo culture

As my brother @EmekaAmakeze reminds us, part of the reason Igba nkwu is done at the bride's village/home is to show the groom/his family that she is loved/respected/from a community that cherishes/protects her; with an army of umunna/umuada who will fight for her. #Nwanyịbùífé

I have a little story that I have now drafted and deleted multiple times because I can't seem to do it justice.

So, I am going to strip it down to the barest of details and just let it fly unedited.

Bear with me. It will be worth the ride, I hope.

1/

If you follow me, you have probably seen my endless posts about trying to find a PlayStation 5 (PS5).

Originally, I was looking for one for my son. I found one for him two weeks ago.

Since then, I have been looking for one for someone else.

An old friend.

2/

Jen and I have known each other 30 years.

We shared a mutual close friend in our 20s. We weren't close but hung out when we all met up at bars.

I've seen her once in 15 yrs. Bumped into her at Starbucks.

Were it not for Facebook, we would have entirely lost touch long ago.

3/

We're Facebook friends. That's what we are.

And as a result, I had that gauzy sense of her life you get from seeing only the passing glimpses that cross your timeline.

I knew the broad strokes.

4/

Like me, she's a single parent to a son she adores.

Went into the travel industry.

Never seemed to be in a relationship. Not married.

Was close with her father until he passed away suddenly a few years ago.

5/

Motivation, Mindset, Failure and Luck

Losing in order to win - thoughts for new investors

[Thread]

I started investing in July 2017

I had £20,000 / $25,000 saved

I had realised that we were in a middle-class trap & wanted to change our future

MOTIVATION

I spent my 20s working on a business idea that failed

The saga had cost a lot of time, energy & money. It put a big strain on my relationship

It put me in a financial hole that had taken years to dig out from. I ended up at a big consulting firm

I consulted to the UK's National Health Service but I wasn't always convinced about the value for money being delivered through our projects

I ended up switching sides & working for the NHS

Less travel, more relationship time

Job security & a stable income

There were tradeoffs though

A smaller salary for one

Got married. Bought a house. Had kids.

The kids changed everything. Your worldview shifts

I was scared for their future

The cost of living, the cost of education, the cost of property

All. Going. Up.

I turned to investing to improve our future.

Waiting till I was 68 years old to pay off our mortgage and collect a pension was not what I wanted from life

A family friend had talked to me about investing when I was a teenager. But I had never taken action.

The fact that we can't agree anymore on simple truths keeps me up at night.

In science we agreed on core values or rules where everyone could empirically check the assertion made.

Heck we built in mechanism to challenge core beliefs and get them universally accepted.

It's not the forbearance of decorum or independent thought.

It's not even one of those close, disputed scientific advances waiting on more data to be settled.

https://t.co/Xnr8K4qiGZ

I grew up in a little town in northern Iowa. About 3,100 people lived there then.

It was a different time.

Both sides of my family had lived in my hometown, or on farms a few miles out, for more than one hundred years.

My grandpa had a business on Main Street that my dad took over when grandpa got sick.

I knew nearly everybody.

There were no “helicopter parents” then and the only teenagers who had cars were older boys who bought them used and beat-up and liked to tinker under the hood.

I walked everywhere — to school, to Girl Scouts meetings, to piano lessons, to babysitting jobs, to Friday night football games at the high school, to the movie theater on Saturday afternoons. We all did.

I walked even in the dark, though I was sometimes afraid.

But I knew who lived in just about every house that I passed. It was a comfort.

AS A MAN THINKETH:
Chapter 1
THOUGHT AND CHARACTER

https://t.co/SoqHVbwOw4

Being away from family can be tough during the best of times but this pandemic has truly tested and damn near broken me.
It was only a matter of time that someone closer to you gets infected and that happened 3 weeks ago when my brother fell ill (he's recovered now).

The initial bout of panic and scrambling for travel arrangements (it was looking pretty bad for a while) as his condition started to deteriorate was thankfully short as we needed cool heads more than rash decisions (taking 2 flights and passing through 3 big airports).

My other brother and my sister had to physically stop my parents from being in the same room as him. Shouting was involved. All that was quite difficult to manage from a distance but we have learnt of thousands of families around the world go through much tougher situations.

The medics, I can't even imagine how they are managing. The governments and the people are both siding with the virus in this long war.
Its all just so baffling to me, and even more absurd with every passing day that we have imposed it upon ourselves. On the most vulnerable.

Anyway, my brother is an otherwise fit 34 years old cyclist and he loves to go hiking every chance he gets so he probably had the best chance out of whole family to recover from the pneumonia in both lungs and dropping oxygen levels...
I don't think either of my parents will.

Somebody needs to tell a few people that, a general “policy” argument, telling a court that it has no right to decide an issue when the matter falls squarely within the case and controversy requirements of Art 3, and the Constitution specifically provides for jurisdiction of the=

parties; additionally, the court has federal question jurisdiction, is not a good take, and is not persuasive. Next, an argument of disenfranchisement of voters (a) is weak in countering the Bush v Gore equal protection opinion; (b) is beside the point, when the issues is the=

issue is not issues is

constitutional validity of votes cast by state appointed electors, especially in context of serious allegations that State officials unconstitutionally nullified provisions of statutes passed pursuant to the plenary power of the legislatures and thereby threw into chaos by=

dilution or nullification of their own citizens votes. More on this later-I am studying briefs because someone said “their brief is weak.” The person could not have referred to the TX brief. IMO, Tx did a fine, outstanding job in a case of first=