BC LIFE
Saved by @Alex1Powell

Stop raising your daughters to see marriage as the ultimate decider of their self worth & value in life!

Raise them to know they are worthy, complete and sufficient as they are. And as wonderful as a loving/respectful marriage can be, it does not define the core of who they are!

 Stop raising sons as if they are "demigods" who're above accountability. Raise compassionate sons who see themselves and women as equal human beings! Start early to ingrain self control & healthy anger management strategies in your sons. Teach them that GBV is a pubishable crime!
In your umunna & umuada meetings this #DettyDecember, have sessions on Domestic violence and pass clear resolutions. Be the clan that forbids it & declares it an "Nso Ala"; an abomination; alu! Perpetrators should be "barred" from community meetings. Victims encouraged to leave!
#Nwanyịbùífé #Nwabuife As a people, let's revisit our traditional values/pick the positives, instead of swallowing dictates of colonialism/this warped version of Christianity practiced in Nigeria today. Reject "blind submission"/do or die Domestic Violence unions in Igbo culture
As my brother @EmekaAmakeze reminds us, part of the reason Igba nkwu is done at the bride's village/home is to show the groom/his family that she is loved/respected/from a community that cherishes/protects her; with an army of umunna/umuada who will fight for her. #Nwanyịbùífé
What Governor Ortom/his wife have done is an aberration/condemnable! They are enabling domestic violence. A man who beats his wife has committed a criminal act. It's not a "family affair" to be reconciled. He shd face criminal consequences/Rehabilitation b4 any family talks #VAPP
Dr. Ifeyinwa Angbo is victim of domestic abuse, facing secondary trauma from her abuser/agents of state. Power dynamics are skewed against her. She has a choice/agency to decide to "forgive/reconcile" with her abuser, however the state has a responsibility to protect her/her kids
1/OPD/State Domestic Violence Unit has to ensure that she receives adequate legal/medical/independent psychosocial support;

2/ Social services has to ensure her children receive evaluation/care;

3/ Continuous visitations for months or even up to a year to monitor the situation;
4/ Those who know Dr. Ifeyinwa should ensure she gets access to mental health professionals such as #MentallyAwareNG

Domestic violence contributes to post partum depression & suicidal predispositions. Independent evaluations beyond the performative "reconciliation" shenanigan;🙏
5/ Seen a lot of valid takes about the danger of the abusive husband beating/killing her in future.

ALSO: Once a woman has garnered enough courage to publicly call out her abuser, it is a deep cry for help & she may even kill him in self defence shd this occur again in future.
6/In that disjointed press statement (So despicable for the Ortoms/her abuser, to put her through that ordeal), she mentioned that they had 4 children

⚠Let's normalize telling victims of domestic violence to LEAVE/LIVE FOR THE CHILDREN'S SAKE, instead "Stay for the Children!"😡
A reminder that a woman (or man) who has been subjected to abuse over a sustained period loses their sense of worth/value/esteem/confidence etc. They are no longer quite themselves and are dissociated at a fundamental level. So be kind/empathetic in judging/asking "Why Go Back?"
And for those who are confused that an "educated medical doctor" would allow herself be subjected to abuse or to go back to her abuser..here's the kicker; financial freedom or education is just a small fraction of what keeps victims in toxic doses. Other powerful factors include:
A) A lifetime of indoctrination & brainwashing from family/friends/religious orgs/schools that reduces a woman's worth to her ability to get married and stay married, subliminal/overt messaging on "submission";

B) Fear of society's stigma as a single mother/divorced/separated...
C) Lack of both organic and structured/institutional support systems and networks. At both family level and societal level. We lack well run/comfortable shelters for victims of domestic violence, enforceable legal frameworks, professional therapy is not mainstream, child services
D) When children are involved, there are challenges with respect to child custody and child support, & this is not just financial support. Many don't openly talk about this but it is easier for an Igbo woman with daughters to leave an abusive relationship than for those with sons
It sounds counterintuitive but it's easier for "mama Nkechi" who is a market woman in the village to leave an abusive relationship/remarry, or thrive as a single woman, than it is for a "Dr. Ifeyinwa"

Why? Latter fears stigma more/has more influential people coercing her to stay
These/many more nuanced issues/SOLUTIONS are discussed further on #Nwanyịbùífé #Nwabuife Gender matters especially as they relate to Igbo women. We are sadly seeing a rise in breakdown in family units, more abuse of children by women, more domestic violence at home/abroad by men

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Erik Torenberg
Erik Torenberg
@eriktorenberg
1/ Here’s a list of conversational frameworks I’ve picked up that have been helpful.

Please add your own.

2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you


3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.

“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”

“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”

4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:

“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”

“What’s end-game here?”

“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”

5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:

“What would the best version of yourself do”?
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dopaminedream
dopaminedream
@dopaminendreams
Convo between @tferriss & @naval on modern loneliness:

Naval: In India there's this concept of the extended family where you basically live with your tribe at all times, so when we were young, at our grandmother's place with my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my grandparents,

everyone was there, and it was a warm night so we went out to the backyard and put all these comforters and these little cots out and everyone would sleep in this giant pile with fifteen people underneath the stars...

it was amazing...so there's two things that were great about it: the noise level didn't bother you, if someone's foot was in your face it didn't bother you. When it's family and you're young it all just works and you feel very safe and very happy.

Another thing is that it reinforces how important the tribe is. Modern society gives us incredible flexibility in that we can get away from our crazy family members, we're not destined to die where we are born or to do what our parents did. So we have incredible freedom.

But coming with it is this tremendous loneliness that we try to cover up either through drugs, alcohol, partying, even trying to find a mission like putting people on mars. But the reality is that a lot of that loneliness comes from being disconnected from growing up in your
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@levelsio
Rules of Happiness

💖 Have friends around you
🌳 Have freedom
🎨 Do meaningful work
💳 Spend $ on experiences, not things
🤝 Help others with what you're good at
👇 Lower your expectations
💪 Exercise + eat healthy
🤔 Reflect on thoughts

via
LIFE
Tom Booth
Tom Booth
@Boothicus
Me and my brother visiting Stonehenge in AD 2003. Speaking of relatives in and around Stonehenge, here's a new (OA) paper with Jo Brück, @SelBrace & Ian Barnes based on findings in Olalde et al. (2018)

https://t.co/m8XOsP1rQN

https://t.co/0XaRbWKVHU


The main aim of this paper was to try to show off the wealth of useful information that can be found in the Supplementary Materials of large-scale aDNA papers, if you know where to look. These details are often not discussed in the main text, but can be pretty significant...

Olalde et al. (2018) found there was a yuge transformation (>90%) of the genetic ancestry of people in Chalcolithic-Early Bronze Age Britain (c.2450-2000) produced by movements of groups of people from possibly various parts of continental Europe.

Our chronological modelling of associated radiocarbon dates in OxCal suggests this ancestry shift was fairly gradual, probably taking between 311-472 years, or 10-16 generations.

Groups genetically continuous with preceding Late Neolithic groups continued inhabiting C-EBA Britain but we don't see them so much in the DNA data as they largely continued to cremate their dead or treat them in ways which left no archaeological record.
LIFE
MaybeTheJingoAteYourBaby
MaybeTheJingoAteYourBa...
@colbymommy
Try to imagine yourself as an older Republican. (Obviously you are white and you have a penis.) You have long believed R's to be the responsible ones, the moral ones, the ones who will do the right thing even when it's hard.

You remember your heroes: Eisenhower and Reagan, the Bush's? Right? You knew that they would "take care of us" while all the crazy tree huggers and hippies wanted to buy the world a Coke and and give all your money to poor people and immigrants!

...and how was THAT gonna teach them to pull themselves up by the boot straps and make something of themselves like YOU DID??
After all, this is the land of opportunity, RIGHT? Everyone has the same chance to be successful and PROSPEROUS, right???

You did it all with NO HELP--ALL BY YOURSELF, DIDN'T YOU. I mean, the G.I. Bill didn't do all that MUCH!
Rich people were taxed at 70%, and that was OK with you because you weren't one. *YET*

Just because the cost of living was MINISCULE compared to now, and you got a spiffy new job with a company car and paid health insurance, and a freaking house you BOUGHT ALL BY YOURSELF for 25 thousand freaking dollars,
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Coffee Sloth \u2615
Coffee Sloth ☕
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*Heads-up that this thread will feature some extreme examples of homophobia and transphobia.*

Hey folks, have you ever wondered why trans people face constant accusations of fetishism, sexual predation and child abuse/grooming? Well, today let's talk about stochastic terrorism.

So, first we have to talk about what stochastic terrorism actually is. Remember when there was a conspiracy that there was a pedophile ring operating out of a pizza parlour basement, and a crazed gunman showed up? It's that sort of incitement that stochastic terrorism describes.

It's the demonisation or incitement against a group of people or individuals with the intent that other, unaffiliated parties will act upon it; it's the releasing doctored footage and a shooter show up at Planned Parenthood as a direct result of what he's been led to believe.

So with that in mind, let's talk about Russia's extreme anti-LGBT laws that banned the "promotion" of LGBT lifestyles to children. A move that specifically marked LGBT people as a threat to children, and resulted in neo-nazis meting out vigilante "justice" against gay men.


Groups such as this would lure unsuspecting gay men via dating sites, and brutalise and humiliate them on camera. They did so under the guise of combating child abusers, one group calling themselves "Occupy
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Brittany Packnett
Brittany Packnett
@MsPackyetti
We should stop confusing what someone was doing when we became aware of them with all they are capable of, interested in, or ever hope to be

Let folks have their many talents, interests and gifts. Life is far more fun with variety, loves.

A lot of folks have come to know me as an activist & I’m grateful that folks care to know me at all.

But I wasn’t born in 2014. I was a whole teacher, executive, policy person, speaker, arts and culture lover, reader, writer, woman of faith, fashion and more before 4 yrs ago 🤷🏾‍♀️

We rightfully complain that marginalized people are not allowed to be fully human.

But we internalize and transfer our oppression daily. It’s a smog. We all breathe it in & act it out.

And then tell WoC “girl ain’t you supposed to be a _______? Why you doing ____?”

Can I live?

And don’t go reading anything personal into this-this isn’t about me necessarily and it’s no subtweet (I try hard not to do that.)

I’ve just been observing that behavior more and more lately. Especially when it comes to marginalized folks.

Evolution should be our aspiration.

“Can’t knock the hustle” should be our anthem.

As long as someone isn’t bringing active and continual harm, why can’t they explore their many sides?
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Kelly Ellis
Kelly Ellis
@justkelly_ok
So, I want to talk about how sexual harassment and fair pay are linked at Google (and beyond), because I think that's an angle that isn't being highlighted enough in the coverage of these walk-outs. I'm going to frame it largely around my personal experience there. Thread.

When I was sexually harassed by the director of the area I was working in, I was afraid to report it because I was worried that "getting him in trouble" would result in the subtle retaliation of missed leadership opportunities.

I wanted to continue working on the team I was on, because I'd gained a lot of very deep knowledge and expertise in that area, as well as reputation and camaraderie with the other folks working in that area. I didn't want to make the situation more "difficult."

To get promoted at Google, several need to happen: 1. you need opportunities for ownership and leadership above your current level (basically, opportunities to show you're working at the next level you're trying to get promoted to). The work you're "assigned" has a big impact.

2. You need glowing reviews from peers, *at or particularly above the level you're hoping to get promoted to.* Basically, you need people a lot more senior than you to say you're doing awesome work.
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Suhas S. Hardutt
Suhas S. Hardutt
@HarduttSuhas
THE BATTLE OF TALIKOTA and the destruction of Vijaynagar (Hampi)
26 January 1565

A tale of valor, deception and decimation.

A grim reminder that if we fail to protect our heritage, it will eventually crumble under the onslaught of "forces of anarchy".
(Elaborate thread)


This decisive battle was fought between the Vijayanagara empire and the Deccan sultanates resulting in a rout of Vijayanagara and ending the last major medieval era Hindu kingdom in south India.(1)

The seeds of 1565 encounter were sown more than 250 years earlier when the forces of the Delhi Sultanate, during the time of Alauddin Khilji and later Md Bin Tughlaq swept through southern India in an expansion spree.(2)

By middle of the 14th century, facing rebellions, Tughlaq withdrew to Delhi, leaving behind 2 empires, Bahmani, which ruled the Deccan from Kalaburagi, and Vijayanagara, which ruled most south India with its capital at Vijayanagar.(3)

The Raichur Doab, between the Krishna and Tungabhadra rivers, existed as a natural boundary between these two kingdoms, with wars often breaking out over control of this territory.(4)
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ArmaniTalks \U0001f399\U0001f525
ArmaniTalks 🎙🔥...
@ArmaniTalks
Shy people are either overthinking or highly observant of the social setting.

And in many cases it can be both.

'So what do I do?'

You learn the 75/25 law.

'What is that?'

The law of charisma...👇

Let's address the over thinkers first.

Do you have any idea why you overthink?

'Yea. Because others are judging how shy I am.'

Incorrect.

Others are thinking about themselves, not you.

But the fact that you think they are thinking about you, you fuck up the interaction.

Now you stay in your head too much & avoid the present moment.

A major no no in the social world.

Your tendency to think that others are judging you for being shy, coincidentally makes you more shy.

And that's when you start giving off a strange vibration to the social setting.

This is when you begin attracting comments like 'why are you so quiet?'
LIFE