What I've learnt on the Twitter this year: 1. The State of…

4. Michelle Rempel says, because some other Conservative politicians did the wrong thing, now she can't do the wrong thing, because the media will report she did the wrong thing, and that's wrong for the media to do. That's it. That's the funny part.

5. Mike Harris awarded the Order of Ontario, which basically makes the whole thing an attendance award.
6. Doug Ford announces that a large order of McDonald's fries and a box of Philadelphia Cream Cheese will also be awarded the Order of Ontario this year.

7. UCP MLA Tracy Allard says she left the country and flew to Hawaii because her family can't celebrate Christmas properly without eggnog served in genuine coconuts.
8. UCP MLA Jeremy Nixon says he only travelled to Hawaii to personally forward a really funny email joke to Allard

9. After appearing more than an hour late for the press conference he'd called, Jason Kenney says Alberta's vaccination rates are low because Trudeau screwed up and delivered the vaccines early. That's it. That's the funny part.
10. Doug Ford sent Jason Kenney a Thank You card.

11. Kenney says he didn't make travel restrictions for his MLAs clear and will be sure to include "No recreational travel during a pandemic, guys!" notes when he packs their lunches for them.
12. The Toronto Sun covers its eyes, counts to 30 and pretends Justin Trudeau is hiding.

13. Doug's vaccine czar, General Rick Hillier, suggests half a dose of vaccine, some good mess chow and a long march with a heavy pack will keep Ontarians safe from Covid.
14. With dozens and dozens dying in LTCs, Caroline Mulroney travels to 1986 and urges us all to buckle up.

15. Doug says he had no idea his Finance Minister had left the country. Says he thought Rod said he was flying to St. Jacobs for the Christmas break.
16. Jason Kenney appears at his New Year's Day press conference wearing a "I ❤️ Maui" hoodie.

17. Brett Wilson says egregious Conservative hypocrisy and shameful role modelling isn't the problem - the problem is that extra 3 dollars all those rich people are paying at the pumps as they make their way to the airport for their traditional Hawaiian Christmas vacations.

18. Poilievre says 2021 is going to be "the year of the worker." Doesn't say what he or Michelle Rempel be doing in 2021 then.
19. Zoom Inc reports huge surge in green screen background use in 2020, saying uptick rates concentrated in cities with provincial legislatures.

20. In a tweeted New Year's Greeting video, Stephen Lecce says he's optimistic 2021 will be a good year. So yeah, we're good.
21. Doug was most upset about Phillips's pandemic jet-setting because Rod was expected at the Ford Extended Family Christmas dinner and Secret Santa swap.

22. After calling in sick most of the year, 2020 finally resigns.
23. In 2035, millions of adults who were kids in 2020 will think back fondly on memories of Nana and Papa's foreheads and stippled ceilings.
24. 2020: The year of the Glory Hole. Oh, and Doug Ford's food orgasm.

25. I usually head to southern Arizona this time of year. Bit of a tradition. Recharge my batteries. Sunshine, hiking, rattlesnake dodging, and killer desert sunsets. Not going this year. Because, you know, pandemic.

Clearly, I'd make a lousy politician.

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