Trauma bonds are unhealthy attachments that can feel consum…

Trauma bonds are relationships that involves dysfunctional dynamics.

They are very: sudden, quick, and intense.

Usually, there's love bombing which looks like: excessive attention, praise, flattery, and undying devotion.

In healthy relationships, emotional intimacy is built through mutual trust and sharing.

In trauma bonds, there's quick excessive declarations of immediate love or devotion.

This can feel intoxicating for adults that have been emotionally neglected.

Rather than seeing the immediacy as a red flag, it's seen as: "finally someone truly loves me."

Slowly, insecurities begin to show.

Usually in the form of: jealousy, control, shaming or criticism.

Rather than seeing this as abusive, the other partner usually interprets this as a need to prove themselves and their loyalty.

Fights begin to happen.

These fights always include a honeymoon stage.

This cycle is highly addictive and intoxicating because it takes the relationship back to the beginning stages of: undying devotion, declarations of love, and physical connection. Oxytocin floods the body.

Partners in trauma bonds tend to engage in splitting which is an "all good" or "all bad" perception of their partner, based on the situation.

In healthy relationships, partners respect each other and have a consistent, overall, positive view of each other.

When "outsiders" see the dysfunction and ask why they stay in the relationship, people in trauma bonds will give answers like:

"there's just something special about them" "you wouldn't understand" or "it's hard to explain."

In healthy relationships, partners can give concrete reasons they're with they're with their partner:
- we show up for each other

- we respect each other's beliefs, goals, and emotions

- we trust each other and work as a team

People in trauma bonds have usually experienced: childhood abuse (manipulation, abandonment, emotional neglect, betrayal) and tend to struggle to trust themselves and their own perception.

When a partner is gaslighting or deflecting, they see this as "normal

Because at one time this behavior was normalized by a parent.

So, they tend to fawn (appease) their partner. Believing that love means proving your loyalty.

When healing from trauma bonds it's important to understand:

- boundaries are healthy

- healthy partners are not controlling, highly jealous, demanding of behaviors

- love doesn't mean proving yourself

- your needs matter & healthy partners want to meet them

- authentic love feels safe & does not thrive on the release of stress hormones

Trauma bonds are unhealthy attachments that can feel consuming, passionate, and highly addictive.

HERE'S WHY:

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Trauma bonds are unhealthy attachments that can feel consuming, passionate, and highly addictive. HERE'S WHY:

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Trauma bonds are unhealthy attachments that can feel consuming, passionate, and highly addictive.

HERE'S WHY: