And then it occurred to me that I really liked who and how I was, and their rules had helped make me that.
One of the sad things we know about abusive parenting is that it often propagates over generations.
I’m very glad my grandfather broke that chain and didn’t become his abusive step-father. Because it turns out that supportive parenting *also* propagates over generations.
And then it occurred to me that I really liked who and how I was, and their rules had helped make me that.
In retrospect, that was probably a bit too much faith in nurture over nature. I was an only child, so I didn’t have a counter example. Having two kids abused me of *that* theory. :)
But I really value my supportive dad.
Or his happily looking something up for me at 2am when I called him from a college trivia contest.
I miss him. I don’t think I was half the father he was. But I hope I passed on his supportiveness and love.
❤️ you @shireenhinckley & Shadi
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“We don’t negotiate salaries” is a negotiation tactic.
Always. No, your company is not an exception.
A tactic I don’t appreciate at all because of how unfairly it penalizes low-leverage, junior employees, and those loyal enough not to question it, but that’s negotiation for you after all. Weaponized information asymmetry.
Listen to Aditya
And by the way, you should never be worried that an offer would be withdrawn if you politely negotiate.
I have seen this happen *extremely* rarely, mostly to women, and anyway is a giant red flag. It suggests you probably didn’t want to work there.
You wish there was no negotiating so it would all be more fair? I feel you, but it’s not happening.
Instead, negotiate hard, use your privilege, and then go and share numbers with your underrepresented and underpaid colleagues. […]
Always. No, your company is not an exception.
A tactic I don’t appreciate at all because of how unfairly it penalizes low-leverage, junior employees, and those loyal enough not to question it, but that’s negotiation for you after all. Weaponized information asymmetry.
Listen to Aditya
"we don't negotiate salaries" really means "we'd prefer to negotiate massive signing bonuses and equity grants, but we'll negotiate salary if you REALLY insist" https://t.co/80k7nWAMoK
— Aditya Mukerjee, the Otterrific \U0001f3f3\ufe0f\u200d\U0001f308 (@chimeracoder) December 4, 2018
And by the way, you should never be worried that an offer would be withdrawn if you politely negotiate.
I have seen this happen *extremely* rarely, mostly to women, and anyway is a giant red flag. It suggests you probably didn’t want to work there.
You wish there was no negotiating so it would all be more fair? I feel you, but it’s not happening.
Instead, negotiate hard, use your privilege, and then go and share numbers with your underrepresented and underpaid colleagues. […]
