One of the sad things we know about abusive parenting is that it often propagates over generations.

I’m very glad my grandfather broke that chain and didn’t become his abusive step-father. Because it turns out that supportive parenting *also* propagates over generations.

About the time I was 9 I was pissed at my parents for something or other, as kids are. And I angrily thought, “When I have kids, I won’t do xxx to them.”
And then it occurred to me that I really liked who and how I was, and their rules had helped make me that.
So I decided I probably *should* parent the way they did.

In retrospect, that was probably a bit too much faith in nurture over nature. I was an only child, so I didn’t have a counter example. Having two kids abused me of *that* theory. :)

But I really value my supportive dad.
My father was *so* supportive of my endeavors, even as an adult, that my first wife’s dad asked her if there was something wrong with me that I needed that much support. (He was the dad she had to actively deceive to study math, and to come to the US).
And it wasn’t just big stuff, it was little things. Like when I had a cloth board for my cosmic wimpout game, and the edges were fraying, he surprised me by sewing a border on it. Or the bunk bed he helped me make for college to fit over my desk. And the stereo cabinet we built.
Or when I wanted to paint our scouting trailer camouflage and he got all the paints and helped me draw and paint the patterns. Or his fighting Chevrolet in court to have them fix the engine block in my Vega. Or his helping me build my room in HS so it had hidden closets and bed.
Or his honoring my request for no surprise visits when I was only an hour away at college, but occasionally a bag of cookies he’d made would magically show up outside my dorm room.
Or his happily looking something up for me at 2am when I called him from a college trivia contest.
He wasn’t good with emotions. He never said “I love you” until I was an adult (sadly, I had the same problem). He wasn’t comfortable with hugs. But he showed love so many ways. I always knew he was there for me. To support, help, and explain. And to share in my joy of discovery.
Because of my father I’ve always seen my role in life as enabling my family to explore their dreams and succeed at what they want to do.

I miss him. I don’t think I was half the father he was. But I hope I passed on his supportiveness and love.

❤️ you @shireenhinckley & Shadi

More from Life

It doesn't happen because you want it to happen.

It doesn't happen because you made it happen.

It happens because you allow it to happen.

https://t.co/j5hPyw9m9m
TW: suicidal ideation.

At the darkest days of the abuse I was being subjected to I decided to attend a conference for women in Los Angeles. I convinced my mother in law to pay for it because I couldn’t afford it. @ChristineCaine was preaching. I was desperate...
1/


I wanted to die, I didn’t see a way out and I had tried everything. I imagined many ways to die daily. The most recurring one was throwing my car down a bridge I had to drive over every day. I never did it because my kids were in the car and I was afraid one of them would...

2/

survive or I’d kill someone on the way down.

Christine spoke about honoring your pastors even when they weren’t great, she spoke of us expecting too much of pastors and how wrong that was. She said God would use our testimony if we submitted to our pastors.

3/

She said “honor your pastors, God will honor you.” She said more about having disagreed with her pastors but she submitted and God honored her and now she’s blessed. How if they are faithfully serving God, we need to support them and not forfeit what God has for us.

4/

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I got up and went to the bathroom because I couldn’t breath and I felt like I was going to faint if I didn’t scream. I now know I was having a panic attack. I sat on the toilet w/my head between my legs, breathed and wept..
5/

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View the resolutions and voting results here:

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... other sources who have been trying to shine on light on this grifter (as I have tried to do, time and again:


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Tweet: https://t.co/36FnYnsRT9


Example #2 - "Yes, I'm comparing the Noridcs / No, you cannot compare the Nordics."

I wonder why...

Tweets: https://t.co/XLfoX4rpck / https://t.co/vjE1ctLU5x


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Tweets: https://t.co/vcDpTu3qyj / https://t.co/CA3N6hC2Lq