Dear Jaime,

3 years ago your voice was silenced. I sent you and your brother to school to safely learn. I rushed you out the door that morning never expecting what would happen next. A school shooting!!! You were 14 and only a freshman in High School.

(1,11)

(2,11) Your brother Jesse survived…you did not.

You are on my mind every second of every minute of every day. I constantly relive your last seconds in my mind. Did you suffer? I will never know, but I fear that you did. Did I do enough to protect you?
(3,11) The answer is… No!!! I did not… and for that I will carry guilt for the rest of my life. My voice was not fighting the evil of gun violence before it was my daughter and for that I am sorry.

Today you should be a senior in school. We should be celebrating love.
(4,11) We should be looking at your senior pictures with you, watching you excitedly apply to colleges and helping you decide where to go. We should be excitedly looking forward to prom and I should be thinking about the advice I want to give you at graduation.
(5,11) While I am so happy to see all of your friends have these experiences, it breaks my soul to know that you are not part of that. Mom, Jesse and I won’t be able to watch you experience this with them. Every time I see posts with senior photos and college acceptances,
(6,11) I smile for all of your friends and then I cry for you. Because of what happened to you, our life has changed. Shortly after your murder, I embarked on a mission to do something about gun violence and this is now my life purpose and mission.
(7,11) I failed you by not speaking out before you were killed, I will never stop now.

Jaime, you used to have a favorite slogan and it was “Dreams and dedication are a powerful combination.” I have a dream of a country working to reduce gun violence and I dedicate my life to
(8,11) making sure that happens. Together, you and I will not stop. In your name and your memory, gun safety legislation will pass. Because of what happened to you, this country now understands that we need to do better. You had what I call the greatest BS detector and the
(9,11) greatest moral compass of anyone I ever met, even though you were only 14. It is serving me well now. I will work with our new President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, to ensure that we do all that we can to stop this violence. If it does not happen, then
(10,11) you and I together will keep working to elect new people who want to do this. We worked hard to elect those in place now, and I expect this to be done or we will hold them accountable. I only wish you were here with me… doing this together…
(11,11) and not pushing me forward from the grave. I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, AND I PROMISE TO ALWAYS FIGHT FOR MOM, JESSE, AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT YOU LOVED. WE ARE GOING TO DO THIS!!!

Love,

Dad

More from Life

1/ Here’s a list of conversational frameworks I’ve picked up that have been helpful.

Please add your own.

2/ The Magic Question: "What would need to be true for you


3/ On evaluating where someone’s head is at regarding a topic they are being wishy-washy about or delaying.

“Gun to the head—what would you decide now?”

“Fast forward 6 months after your sabbatical--how would you decide: what criteria is most important to you?”

4/ Other Q’s re: decisions:

“Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the *one* reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”

“What’s end-game here?”

“What does success look like in a world where you pick that path?”

5/ When listening, after empathizing, and wanting to help them make their own decisions without imposing your world view:

“What would the best version of yourself do”?

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