BC LIFE
Saved by @WebbDarrrel

Thread: A personal episode from the past that I feel is very relevant to be shared today, especially for parents of young girls.

I was 18, when my first cousin morphed my face with that of a male school friend in extremely compromising position.

 Very believable for anyone without knowledge of tech.

I was devastated. This was a brother I looked upto. This was the brother I had given my laptop to so he could apply for jobs. And on the same laptop, he made those photographs of me, his younger sister.
Why did he do that? He was kicked out of his house by his family after he married a girl w/o their consent. He was homeless, so my parents let him stay with us till my his family cools down & accepts them back. After 6 months, he felt threatened he'd be asked to leave our place.
So one day, he confronts my parents, infront of me, with those pictures and shows those photographs, with clear terms - pay him & his wife a fixed amount every month, let them stay at our home or he would leak those pictures everywhere.
I still remember he explained how he would distribute those pictures on the day they would get me married 😂

I don't know how any other parent from lower middle class would have reacted to this. But I remember how my parents did, that changed my relationship with them forever.
I was crying, ashamed, hurt & confused..all together. I looked at my mother and said "this is not me"

And my father straight away hugged me and said "even if it is you, toh kya?"

I still remember how secured my father's "jo ukhaad sakta hai ukhaad lena" to him made me feel.
Why am I sharing this?
Because men of our country still use an attack on a woman's character as their trump card when nothing else works. Look at the pictures that were used by the media to villianise @rihanna, Rhea Chakraborty, @AmandaCerny.
So many young girls keep themselves from entering *dirty* fields like politics, because they are afraid their past could be dug up, videos recorded without their consent & leaked and worse, photos and videos morphed. They've done it to @AtishiAAP, @RanaAyyub and many more.
So many girls are pulled out of formal education because some guy would have followed her home or called 100 times/day on the family's landline phone.

Today, arrest of Disha Ravi might make several protective parents ask their children to stop going to protests.
So if you are a parent, especially of a girl, know that your reaction to situations like this shapes your child. Makes them fearless. Because tbh, I would personally not care what anyone in this whole world thinks of me, but if my parents are by my side rock solid.
And if you're just someone who judges women based on what they wear, what they eat, what they smoke, who they sleep with, how many people they sleep with - go to therapy.

When any private material of a woman leaks, the shame is not on her but then man who did it. Punish them.
Shame the men who are doing this to a young girl. Stand by her.

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Naval: In India there's this concept of the extended family where you basically live with your tribe at all times, so when we were young, at our grandmother's place with my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my grandparents,

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Write a tweet, tell your friends, and move on.

Once you own it, you fix it.

99% of people on Twitter/social media/internet won't do this.

Being radically transparent and honest is a competitive (and life) advantage.

From @RayDalio's Principles:


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I'm going through a lot of pain to validate and grow it.

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1 RT = 1 Life Lesson

First one is on the house.

-Thread-

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In research by Shafir, scientists asked subjects which of these two vacation spots they'd PREFER: one with average weather, beaches, hotels, warm water and decent nightlife -- or one with great weather, beaches, and hotels, but cold water and no nightlife. Most chose the latter.

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As people are sharing what they were doing as a 21 year old, here is a story I would like to share. I might never have shared this but for the shameless defence of violence, insurrection and treachery, crookedly citing compassion for youthfulness.

A classmate of mine was weak in studies. Would sometimes fail in all subjects. Had a tough childhood. From Std V onwards, he and his elder brother would sell ice water on cart (oldies will remember those steel carts) infront of a cinema hall for 25p per glass.

While asking for money, he would sometimes even get slapped by people barking "saale paani ke paise maangega". His elder brother, a sweet and shy boy, still in school, was killed in a rivalry by a local goon to "teach a lesson" to his father.

After the killing, the frightened family moved to Delhi. My friend couldn't pass XII std.His father who had always been mean and harsh with children continued to be so. One day he asked friend's mother to pack him a lunch and ordered his son not to return home till he found a job

For 4 days the boy returned without finding a job. Every night he would be thrashed. Fifth day the boy didnt return. He had taken refuge at Mama's place who was kind to him. But Maami extracted her pound of flesh. He did all the household chores and was last to be served meals.
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