Thread of terrorist leaders if they were drugs

Osama bin Laden - weed

old school, a true classic, kinda boring, your parents probably talk about it a lot
Ayman Al-Zawahiri - Rohypnol

old, creepy, puts you to sleep in ten minutes flat, once he comes out nobody is having a good time and the police needs to get involved
Abubakar Shekau - Crack

very high energy, much bigger than anyone ever thought it'd be, for when the original is too elitist for you, speaking in tongues is just part of the deal
Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi - Alcohol

everyone knows about it, easy to pretend it's not a problem until it's A REAL BIG PROBLEM, not great for the waist line, when it ends it's messy and children probably get hurt
Enrique Tarrio - Bath Salts

new kid on the block, kinda weird, makes you start dumb shit you can't get up, your mom probably thinks its a cleaning product, really desperately needs to be regulated
Iyad Ag Ghaly - LSD

used to be really cool, was in a band once, great at parties, good intentions, comes in nice friendly packaging, one lick and now you're standing in your living room holding a bloody knife staring at the corpse of your gf and there's spiders under your skin
Abdelmalek Droukdel - Magic Mushrooms

likes to stare at a white wall and think about the universe, hiking is fun, forgets to shower a lot, everything is changing to quickly we should retvrn to nature, nobody understands what you're saying
Abu Mohammad Al-Julani - Cocaine

expensive, energetic, youthful, can be found in surprisingly high class company, has a lot of ideas he'd like to tell you about
David Duke - literally just licking a toad

gross, slimy, i understand why people fell for this shit in the middle ages but its 2021 and just why??, seriously dude get help, disgusting
Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi - Ketamine

always weird when a professional brings it up, just kinda bumbling around aimlessly, you were supposed to do something but what was it again?
Joseph Kony - PCP

was a big deal once for like a week, manic, doesn't seem very in touch with reality, KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
José Antonio Urrutikoetxea - Barbituates

real big in the 70s, for people with legitimate anxiety issues, and people who are WAY overreacting to legitimate anxiety issues, you always forget that it's still around
Ahmad Umar - Opiates

your dealer can look like a reputable source, seems like an easy way to fix some legitimate problem, a scourge on the middle class and in control of most of the backlands, once its in a community youre never getting rid of it
the last ones were just for @KroszKrisz

and were officially done

More from Legal

1/ On Jan 2 we introduced Proud Boy Billy Knutson to the world. Billy said he was going to DC to "literally go Antifa hunting."

Well, Proud Boy Billy Knutson stormed the U.S. capitol with his fellow terrorists and participated in a failed coup:
https://t.co/Ctb7vThYhs


2/ Terrorist Proud Boy Billy Knutson placing himself at the scene of the failed coup in DC to overthrow democracy:


3/ From terrorist Proud Boy Billy Knutson's Parler in his own words:

PS: We see Texas Charter Plane 5 Jenna Ryan made the big time at the failed U.S. coup in DC


4/ FAIR USE claim: shows context in tweets

Terrorist Proud Boy Billy Knutson's Parler video where you can hear him screaming, "Stand Back and Stand By Motherf*ckers!" while standing on the US capitol steps. Speaker says they'll be back on Inauguration Day.


5/ Terrorist Proud Boy Billy Knutson already lost his Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, & Twitter before heading to DC

However @Spotify & @YouTube continue to platform Billy Knutson, aka Playboy The Beast, a terrorist that participated in the U.S. failed

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